Touches You

So much average

Tells a fascinating and unsettling true story, and does so well, without pretending to have all the answers.

It’s sentimental, ridiculously long and only occasionally funny

OK, sum up this train wreck of a movie in one word; awful. I saw the listing for this movie following a TRANSFORMERS marathon on TV. I knew by the title that it was going to be a hooooorrible ripoff of Transformers, but I thought to myself, "Hey, what the hell. Maybe it'll be good for a laugh." ... bad idea. Very bad.. I was going to hold back on the comments as I can be very opinionated, especially growing up in Hollywood North and producing animated shorts of my own. But after reading Jeff McDonald's review titled "Doesn't live up to the hype", I decided I could no longer bite my tongue.. er, ..fingers. Jeff; I seriously hope you were joking around when you wrote that. If you had half a clue, you would realize those toys you spent all that time playing with, were actually called TransFORMERS, the catch-phrase was "Robots in DISGUISE" (hence being able to transform) and his name is OPTIMUS. There was no such cartoon in the 80's called Transmorphers but there was one called Transformers. It even had a swear word! The villain group of the race are known as the DecePticons and when mentioning characters such as Honeybee, Chazz and Sunscreen, I believe you're referring to BUMBLEbee, Jazz and STARSCREAM. As for Magnadoodle, I believe you may be referring to Etch-a-Sketch? (lol) Finally, it's "More than meets the eye". Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to mock you or call you out, but please, oh please, for the love of God, get your facts straight before writing a review or claim to be a fan, when clearly you have no idea what you're talking about. It must have been disappointing for this movie not living up to the hype, considering you weren't even watching the right one? Perhaps you have (or will) check out the actual movie since writing your review. After this disgrace of a film, you may be pleasantly surprised.That being said, I was disappointed in myself for sitting through this film. I don't think they could have ripped off Transformers harder if they tried, right down to the Frenzy-like character that took on the form of a cellphone, although I almost laughed myself to death at the terrible acting as this non-moving robot killed the woman driving. The effects, both CGI (if it can be called that) and practical effects were that of an amateur's and the audio was terrible as well as out-of-sync. I almost thought I was watching the old TV show Thunderbirds during certain scenes and even found myself looking for puppet strings. When an actor films every shot he or she is in, in a single day, you can tell that not a lot of effort was put into making this. I still find myself in shock that this monstrosity somehow managed to spawn a sequel, not that I'll be hanging around to see it. I wouldn't have paid $2.50 to see this, let-alone the $250,000 it cost to produce. Maybe next time the money could be used to buy an original idea. As mentioned before, I too lost time and brain cells at the hands of this disaster, so, before you think to yourself this may be fun to watch, let me save you some time by saying "it's not worth it". Just remember, brain cells don't regenerate!

Transmorphers (2007) ** (out of 4) The Asylum has made a name for themselves by releasing movies direct-to-DVD just as a "popular" film was hitting theaters. When THE DA VINCI CODE was released Asylum released THE DA VINCI TREASURE. When the remake of THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL was released Asylum struck back with THE DAY THE EARTH STOPPED. Since you have the idea, this here is a rip of TRANSFORMERS. The movie takes place four-hundred years after humans were destroyed by alien robots and forced underground. After yet another defeat, Warren Mitchell (Matthew Fox) is taken out of the freezer in hopes that he can lead the people in a win against the robots. Even though the title is cashing in on the Michael Bay film, the actual story has more in common with Fritz Lang's METROPOLIS and Cameron's TERMINATOR series. I'm not quite sure why some people go into a movie like this expecting it to compete with a big Hollywood movie. That's not going to happen. This film reminded me of countless bad movies that were released to drive-ins back in the 50s and 60s. Films like FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER, PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE and various Roger Corman movies were made cheaply and often were cashing in on much better Hollywood pictures. With that in mind I didn't hate this film nearly as much as I was expecting. Yes, the acting is horrible, directing sloppy and the special effects are lame but they're all so bad that you can enjoy the film just by laughing at it. The screenplay is full of dialogue with characters standing around talking about what they should or shouldn't do. The dialogue talks about the past, the future and the present yet none of it matters because it never adds up to anything. It all comes off as just silly filler to take up time until the budget can raise enough money to have another action scene on their computerized effects. The acting is pretty bad from start to finish and at times it's rather laughable as actors try saying this dialogue. I will give them credit that they could keep a straight face while saying it. Wolf isn't too bad but you can't help but think he'd rather be somewhere else. Fans of Welles, Bergman and Kubrick aren't going to find anything worthy here. However, if you like really, really bad movies then sit back, drink a cold one and laugh away.

31/100. Well, this movie really stinks. I was in the mood for a sci-fi movie, so I scanned through Netfix for a movie to watch instantly, the description met what what I was seeking, but it certainly was not the right choice. The acting isn't good at all, the story is just stupid, the budget had to have been paltry and the special effects really aren't special at all. Obviously it was released to video to confuse people that it is actually Transformers, a nasty trick that Asylum Entertainment is renown for. It's really the acting that kills the film, it is really really bad, especially from the female cast members for whatever reason. I would recommend skipping this one, but sometimes it is good to see a film that is poorly made, it keeps your perspective in line and you can appreciate the films that are well made.

i didn't read all the comments but i could tell from the first few that the majority of you have never heard of the Asylum, i.e. the worst production company ever conceived.They make all their money by creating piece of crap movies with similar names and plots to blockbuster movies that are released at the same time.Look them up and you'll see all the movies that they have made, take a mental note to never see them, because they are either as bad as this movie, or...believe it or not...even worse...i know, you would think it not possible but it is.They've been sued multiple times and fined multiple times for copyright infringement and alike, but the Owners still maintain that it is pure coincidence that they have similar movies with "real" movies and that they put forth as much effort as any other production company.