The Worst Film Ever

Great movie! If you want to be entertained and have a few good laughs, see this movie. The music is also very good,

Unshakable, witty and deeply felt, the film will be paying emotional dividends for a long, long time.

An old-fashioned movie made with new-fashioned finesse.

D.J. Caruso's The Salton Sea is like two great films for the price of one. On one hand you have elements of a zany, off the wall meth addiction screwball comedy (not unlike Jonas Ackerlund's Spun, which I will be reviewing as well). Those comedic elements are wrapped in a very tragic, violent and vengeful film noir, with a brooding, paced melancholy that chills the heart. Val Kilmer stars as Danny Parker, a scumbag tweaker who snitches out fellow addicts to two corrupt narcs (Doug Hutchison and Anthony Lapaglia, equal parts hilarious and scary). But he's also Tom Van Allen, a stoic trumpet player who has been driven to this life of unending nocturnal madness through bloody and unfortunate circumstance. I won't say any more than that or I'll spoil the plot. Kilmer plays both sides of the coin willingly, and in a way is perfect for both aspects of this character, as he has always had a flair for both mournful gravitas (The Saint, Batman) and hyperactive lunacy (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Willow). Vincent D'Onofrio almost steals the film away from him though, playing a deranged crank dealer named Pooh Bear, who I quote "snorted so much gack they had to chop his nose off". He is a plastic nosed monster with a bleached blonde cut and a chilling nasally whine that produces nightmares. Vancouver born Deborah Kara Unger gives a restrained performance as Danny's down on her luck neighbour. The supporting cast rocks it, with appearances from Meat Loaf, Luis Guzman, R. Lee Ermey, Peter Saarsgard, Adam Goldberg, Glenn Plummer and Danny Trejo. I've heard people whine about this film being style over substance. Well, when you have a style this distinct, a score this good, a color palette this gorgeous, so what if the visual and auditory aesthetic takes over a bit? It still has enough exposition and character motivation to surge forward with purpose. A very underrated, delightfully off kilter late 90's noir entry well worth watching.

The test of the time is probably the best test that a movie can pass or fail. I have seen The Salton Sea two weeks ago, and did not have time to write immediately about it. Two weeks later I have a hard time remembering what the film was about. Fragments of good film making are left in my memory but they seem to be buried in a story which tries to make sense of some very improbable coincidences which end by making no sense, without the courage of being nonsense to the end, as in a Tarantino film. The Salton Sea tells the violent story of the life of a trumpet player turned into nightmare as his wife is murdered by drug dealers and trying to take revenge by enrolling as an undercover agent. His fake identity places him in the situation to meet the evil and their victims, and in order to take the revenge to the ultimate satisfaction he is obliged to go rogue and take all upon himself. No prisoners are taken and there hardly can be survivors from this situation.The world described in the film is the one of Tarantino's characters but director D.J. Caruso is no Tarantino and the story lacks exactly the sarcastic craziness of Quentin. Val Klimer does a fair job, but fair is not enough. I remember too little of this film two weeks after I have seen it, and I will probably remember nothing two weeks from now.

The drug world is a crazy one: a world of strait and dirty, bullets and blood shed, secrecy and surveillance, and sometimes life or death. If you were one of the few people to follow David Simon's the Wire on Cable TV, you'll get the idea completely. The Saltan Sea, though occasionally flirting close too close to the line of staged plotting, feels surprisingly convincing, and down to earth. Though I wouldn't call it a super smart motion picture, it does have a brain, with brain cells that fire off signals to progress the story in a manner that is engaging.Tom Van Allen and his lovely wife were on holiday by the Salton Sea, when one night a couple of guys in masks shot her dead in the hotel lobby (along with the clerk). since then Tom, has taken up a new identity as a street punk. Having gotten himself arrested (deliberately) he has been doing buy and bust for the cops. Each bust gets progressively bigger, and his plan is ultimately to bust the one who killed his wife, something bigger and more ironic than the audience could anticipate.First shots can be very important sometimes (I'm sure many of you have a favourite example). The Salton Sea opens on a man sitting on the floor of a room which is burning all around him, while he casually plays the trumpet. Next, we hear his narrative voice, "Who am I.......I'll let you decide" before the story flashes back quite a ways. If this is not enough to get you into the story (even the slightest bit), I dunno what is.The Salton Sea does its job well. It is still shy of greatness, but I'd say it is worth a peak.

I've watched a number of Val Kilmer movies over the years and this is by far Val's best performance. While Val has always been more of a supporting actor, he really shines as the main character Danny Parker/Tom Van Allen in The Salton Sea. The plot is great and the acting is solid all around. The serious dramatic nature works well with the splash of dark humor throughout the film. It's sad to see The Salton Sea not get the notoriety it deserves. Coming from someone who has seen A LOT of movies, this is in my top 50 for sure. Val really shows he's more than the hunk from Top Gun, the crazed college kid from Real Genius, and even the gambling junkie/pro thief from Heat. Val outdoes even his performance as Jim Morrison in The Doors(1991).So, give this film a look and let yourself slip into the underground life of the perpetual night party. And get a taste of the life of Danny Parker. A tweaker with nothing to lose and a life he'll never get back.