Just perfect...

It's entirely possible that sending the audience out feeling lousy was intentional

There's no way I can possibly love it entirely but I just think its ridiculously bad, but enjoyable at the same time.

The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.

I tried. Oh Lordy I tried for 2 hours, but figuring the last 50 minutes would be better spent staring at my cat, I gave up.I usually have good things to say about even the worst movies. "Mars Needs Women"? Acting was actually pretty good. "Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus"? The plane scene made my day.But ""The Poseidon Adventure"" (I put in double quotes so not to associate it with any other works of a similar name) was so bad it was good... but then it rolled over into bad again. Beginning with a comic bookish raid on a terror cell (note how they blow the flimsy aluminum garage door open and it leaves a perfectly circular hole whilst leaving the rest of the door standing completely intact lol), the filmmakers immediately establish an irrelevant sideplot about the Department of Homeland Security and a bunch of other miscellaneous Tough American Guy outfits chasing terrorists.This wouldn't have been so annoying if they hadn't wasted so much time on gratuitous military base scenes and random 1-scene actors running around like the beginning of the tv show Hogan's Heroes. I'm not exaggerating; almost half the movie isn't on the ship, it's about SEAL teams gearing up, military types barking orders, cheesy graphics of GPS satellites circling overhead (real suspenseful there) and soldiers playing poker.You get the feeling early on that this movie, made in 2005, was just capitalizing on the post 9/11 go-team-USA vibe. It crosses over into propaganda territory with several lines about how Homeland Security doesn't have the funding it needs, as well as a laughable plug for racial profiling (A murder is committed on the ship, and within 5 minutes the Homeland Security guy narrows it down to the 3 culprits by looking at the ship's manifest and checking for people who are from "terrorist-harboring countries". I AM NOT KIDDING! Was Trump watching this trash when he cooked up his many travel ban(s)?Oh wait, there's something about a boat. And passengers trying to escape. But the story is actually more focused on a husband having an affair with the ship's masseuse while his 2 kids run around the ship and discover dead bodies and stuff. And then there's a random French chick who decides to rip off her dress, like completely, so they can use the fabric to cover their mouths as they run through a fire. Who comes UP with this stuff???Oh I gotta go, my cat just blinked. Victory is mine!

This film totally lacks the fire of the 1972 original.Rutger Hauer, cast in the Gene Hackman role of the priest, is definitely miscast here. Based on his past performances, you would expect Hauer to be dressed up as a terrorist since a terrorist act has been committed on the boat. That is not the case here. In fact, Hauer lacks the emotional impact of Hackman who questioned his faith after witnessing so many horrors on the boat.The same may be said for Sylvia Syms, who has the Shelley Winters role of Belle Rosen. In this version, Manny Rosen, who was played by Jack Albertson so beautifully in the original, is already dead when the picture begins. Syms gives a totally lackluster performance. Even when she turns over her jewelry to be given to her grandson, there is so little emotion shown.To qualify for the modern scene, this time around a terrorist bomb goes off on the ship creating the havoc. You needed more than that here.

I ordered the Blu-Ray release of this, thinking it was the original film, which I liked. I had not heard of a TV "remake" and now I know why. This is undoubtedly among the most embarrassing films I have ever seen. Some films are so bad that they have inherent redeeming value, but this one has absolutely nothing going for it. It is mind-boggling that good actors could read this unprofessional script and still sign on the dotted line!I won't go into details, for others have done so quite well here. Terrible reviews of a film that is even more terrible.I will henceforth read carefully before I order a DVD.

I got the wrong movie. I thought I was getting the recent theatrical remake of the old Poseidon Adventure, but I got this one instead. While it is not awful, it definitely has a 'made for TV' look and feel to it. There are some pretty seasoned actors in it --Adam Baldwin, Rutger Hauer, Steve Guttenberg (hasn't aged well), Bryan Brown, C. Thomas Howell, Peter Weller -- but they can only do so much with the script.In most respects this is the traditional Poseidon story. A cruise ship full of happy passengers gets into a bind and soon everyone finds themselves upside down. The movie then becomes a test to see who can survive. The 'twist' which is a reflection of the mood of the world right now -- terrorism being responsible for the mishap. Not a very bad movie, just not a very good one.SPOILERS. The terrorists manage to sneak explosive devices on the ship disguised as beer kegs. Each has a bar code strip over the window that is used via a remote to trigger the countdown mechanism. |The US Marshall on-board gets suspicious and manages to shoot some of the terrorists before they have a chance to detonate their bombs. So, instead of the ship sinking, which was the plan, it only capsized.