Who payed the critics

Masterful Cinema

Watch something else. There are very few redeeming qualities to this film.

This is ultimately a movie about the very bad things that can happen when we don't address our unease, when we just try to brush it off, whether that's to fit in or to preserve our self-image.

I'm generally a fan of Tudor history and have seen most of what's out there from The Tudors to the White Queen. This was by far one of the absolute best because it dispensed with the grand set designs and overly sweeping costumes which, in others version, completely disguises the fact that the Tudor court was an auction of women. Whether daughter, sister, niece, women were the commodity to be traded for lands, property, and most important of all, titles. Lesser lords traded their women to greater lords in a way to scramble to the top of power. When a queen became pregnant, all the lords began bringing their newest female relatives to court to try to snag him. Same when a queen delivered a girl. They all knew - and they all played - and the women paid.

This movie was included in the Six Wives of Henry VIII BBC miniseries DVD. I loved those six movies. They were well-acted, well-scripted, and historically accurate. I did actually read Gregory's book and liked it well enough despite it's HUGE historical inaccuracies (I mean the whole fake homosexual angle with George Boleyn in particular), but this movie didn't even mention that. That angle was one of the pivotal points of the book. Above all this movie just leaves me asking "WHY?" Why do we see, as someone else aptly put, "The Real World: Tudor England"? Why are the camera angles so bad in general? Why is the script so bad? I mean, I know it was improv, but come on! The actors at time stutter and stammer over their lines and it's obvious that they're making them up as they go along.Why are the sex scenes so awkward? The way they were done in the book made them at least somewhat interesting. In the movie they're just bad, verging on being absolutely hilarious. At one point, the actress playing Mary Boleyn was having sex with the actor playing Henry VIII. He's thrusting away and she's got this look on her face that says "Hm....I need to go to the store. Is he done yet? Maybe if he finishes I can go pick up some cheese real quick..." It's just bad.Why does Catherine of Aragon play such a small role in this movie? Her refusal to get a divorce was one of the leading causes for the scandal that rocked Christiandom. She's the reason why Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn couldn't get immediately married. Why is she not present here? Over all, this movie is just bad.

This is a 2003 TV version of Phillipa Gregory's novel, not the star- studded 2008 movie, but it is interesting nonetheless. Mary (Natasha McElhone) is elder sister to Anne (Jodhi May) and, under pressure from her family, unwillingly precedes Anne as mistress to King Henry VIII (Jared Harris). The King loses interest in Mary when she becomes pregnant with Henry's only son and he then presses his affections on Anne. Anne's strategy is to sustain Henry's eagerness by declining to have sex with him but, when she fears he may turn elsewhere, she gives in and thus provides one element of the pretext for her ultimate beheading.Although Anne produces a daughter, afterward Queen Elizabeth I, Henry must have a son to secure the succession. He makes clear his displeasure with Anne for failing to give him one, beginning this flirtation with Jane Seymour. Ultimately, feeling she has no choice in the matter, Anne asks her brother to lie with her, which he does reluctantly. Eventually, her brother and other courtiers are accused of adultery with the Queen and executed in advance of her execution. Mary at last finds happiness with a common soldier and farmer who had befriended her while at court, the only satisfactory and satisfied human being in the entire story. Natasha McElhone bears an uncanny resemblance to the young Emma Thompson. Jodhi May, on the other hand, is quite a plain Anne Boleyn, though her cleavage has been much enhanced. Apparently, there is some, though not conclusive, evidence, to support Ms. Gregory's version of history. And BBC has done justice to the convoluted tale with the able intercession of Phillipa Lowthorpe, the director. One can't help wondering why, with bastardy not so unusual, Henry VIII should not have taken some interest in his only son, conferring on him some ranking and estate as was frequently done in other cases. Perhaps he really was the self-centered SOB that has been handed down to us through history.

I'm still amazed that they were able to take such fascinating subject matter and turn out such a dull, miscast and disjointed feature. Switching the ages of the two main female characters didn't help, either. On the plus side, it was enjoyable to see Jared Harris apparently channeling his late father for his role of Henry VIII.Skip the movie, read the book.