Pretty good movie overall. First half was nothing special but it got better as it went along.

Clever and entertaining enough to recommend even to members of the 1%

It is both painfully honest and laugh-out-loud funny at the same time.

All of these films share one commonality, that being a kind of emotional center that humanizes a cast of monsters.

Director A. Raven Cruz has managed to effectively make one long tribute to the creative talents of Phil Tucker (Robot Monster), Hal Warren (Manos, the Hand of Fate), and the ubiquitous Edward D. Wood.Now Phil Tucker at least worked with Lenny Bruce, and did have a rudimentary knowledge of editing (how else could he have cut all that stock footage into his films). And Hall Warren at least had the common decency to stop making films, after his first one. And Ed Wood, well bless his pointed angora draped head, he was just too wacky to ignore. But one thing these guys all had in common, they tried to tell a story.The Helix: Loaded is a vanity piece masquerading as a movie. Anyone that could look at this film and believe it deserves a "10" has been sitting in a closed garage with the engine running. "The Helix: Loaded" doesn't simply suck. It Swallows!

I loved the Matrix films and love good spoofs (AIRPLAINE, BLAZING SADDLES, SCARY MOVIE, etc.), but this movie was a huge disappointment. I saw it in an empty theater and fell asleep 3 times. The director seems to have never seen a good spoof in his life. I just mimics every scene from the MATRIX without adding anything original, much less, funny. The actors are so stiff and have such bad timing, it is like watching a high school improv class. The movie looks like it was shot on a handicam, but it has some relatively professional digital effects. However, a pretty bow and some wrapping paper can't make this stink bomb funny.

I went to this movie and it rocked. For an independent movie on a low budget it was surprisingly excellent. It is a parody of The Matrix, Fight Club etc, all movies i enjoyed but this really does take the the spoof movie genre to a whole new level. The acting was good, special effects were brilliant the jokes clever & funny. I know when i watch it again that i will pick out more jokes and funny background placements. Having seen it at the movies i am now looking forward to the DVD release and add it to my collection... These guys rock who made this movie i am looking forward to seeing more of their work in the future. m c

Move over Orson Welles, there's a new cinematic piece of excellence coming our way - THE HELIX...LOADED! When I first saw this entry on IMDb I was a bit suspicious, but I knew I had to see it, so I attended a special preview screening. The director was there with none other than the Ice Man himself, Robert Van Winkle, as well as their friends, family and some people who had attended out of curiosity (it's not hard to get into the "special" preview - they were handing out free tickets!).Well after the credits rolled I thought to myself, "Can it get any better than this?!" I mean, Vanilla rapping "Ice Ice Baby" for two hours straight might sound boring to some, but here he proves he has so much more range, like when he starts singing a heavy metal track called "You Can Do It Theo!" which is played whilst he battles with the Agent Marshal Mathers (bad guy of the film), which may be a reference to Eminem.Anyway, the director is able to establish a meaningful connection with the audience. Such depth is given to the character of Theo that I felt I literally knew him by the time it all ended. On top of that, V-Ice gives an Oscar-worthy comeback performance that will prove to the disbelievers that "Cool As Ice" was only a sign of things to come in the definitive career of the definitive actor's actor of the 21st century.All in all, this funny, touching, dramatic, action-packed indie experiment had me gushing at the eyes - both because it was funny, and sad. The ending made sense on so many different levels, and the re-mix of Ninja Rap is worth the price of admission alone.P.S. Someone contacted me recently under the impression that this was a serious review on my behalf. If you feel I am being honest when I call it the best movie ever made, please check yourself into the nearest mental ward of your local sanitarium.