Fantastic!

The first must-see film of the year.

The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.

A clunky actioner with a handful of cool moments.

This is one of legendary auteur Andy Sidaris' later efforts, and the cracks are beginning to show in his formula.The women who are the centrepiece of his films used to be somewhat enhanced, but by this point, they are positively deformed. It is a wonder they can stand up, let alone perform. The standard Sidaris squib shootout in the woods becomes even less believable than usual when your leading ladies can no longer hide behind a tree without something sticking out.The early pacing in the film is slow, and if you've been watching Andy's films in order, the action set-pieces look recycled.The female leads in this effort make you realise that previous Sidaris muses Dona Speir, Hope Marie Carlton and Roberta Vasquez, while not actually great actors, brought a ton more enthusiasm, effort and fun to their parts than the cast of 'Return to Savage Beach'. Julie Strain, in particular, recites her lines as if she'd rather be anywhere else.However, their male beefcake counterparts are dull enough to make the women look vaguely competent.The upsides? Gerald Okamura has fun with his brief screen time and Sidaris regular Rodrigo Obregon is very enjoyable, even channelling a bit of Gomez Addams when he dances with Carrie Westcott's character/breasts. So, not primo triple-G entertainment. You can find more enjoyment in earlier works like 'Hard Ticket', 'Do or Die' or a few others from this director. They have essentially the same ingredients, but are just better cooked.

A group of evil folks led by the nefarious Rodrigo Martinez (robustly essayed with lip-licking brio by Rodrigo Obregon) search for a hidden treasure trove on a remote Pacific island. It's up to a crack team of federal agents to stop them. Writer/director Andy Sidaris covers all the essential entertainingly silly'n'trashy bases one final time: abundant tasty gratuitous distaff nudity, huge splashy explosions, sizzling soft-core sex scenes, an amusing sense of self-mocking campy humor, maladroitly staged action set pieces (the karate fights in particular are hilariously inept), funky gadgets, a swinging "Goldfinger"-type theme song, and globe-trotting locations. Naturally, a bevy of beautiful babes are on hand to further heat things up: magnificently statuesque Amazonian goddess Julie Strain as brash leader Willow Black, busty blonde Julie K. Smith as the sassy Cobra (who works undercover as a stripper!), the insanely bosomy Shae Marks as Tiger, blonde bombshell Carrie Westcott as Rodrigo's foxy hench wench Sofia, Ava Cadell as sultry-voiced disc jockey Ava, and Carolyn Liu as the slinky Silk. The rest of the cast likewise have fun with the blithely inane material: Marcus Bagwell as reformed former baddie Warrior, Cristian Letelier as the amiable J. Tyler Wood, Paul Logan as the equally likable Doc Austin, and Gerald Okamura as ace martial artist Fu. Howard Wexler's glossy cinematography gives this picture an attractive bright look. Ron Di Iulio's lively score hits the stirring spot. A worthy closer to both Sidaris' cinematic career and this enjoyable series.

With the tagline „The big guns are back", director Andy Sidaris returned to Savage Beach, almost a decade after the original „Savage Beach" movie. The title song is played while we watch the ladies swimming - pretty well aiming at the style of a Bond title sequence. Shae Marks looks like Lara Croft in her early (oversized) days when she enters Savage Beach in a tank top. Such elements of pop culture are nicely used again for an action flick that seems a bit confused in its first half, and sometimes uses annoying flashbacks, but later the loose ends are tied successfully, while another song named „Which ending does this story have?" ironically explains that confusing the audience needs to be a part of the show. Marcus Bagwell, the Warrior from „Day of the Warrior", helps the good guys this time, and Julie K. Smith gets the funniest scene when she can demonstrate her idea of punishing „bad boys". This is the last one out of 12 Andy Sidaris movies I reviewed, certainly not the best among them because it's a bit of a patchwork and lacks new ideas (well, there was a submarine at least), but I have to congratulate the ensemble since they never put out a real bore in all these years - and that, by the way, was the strong point: ensemble. With the exception of "Malibu Express", there was never only one star, it's always about team-play.

*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT*Master filmmaker Andy Sidaris likes his movies big. "Return to Savage Beach" is no exception. Big explosions! Big, hunky men! Big, fast cars! Big breasted women! In the case of Shae Marks, REALLY big breasted women! Sidaris also likes to shoot his movies in the most exotic locations. Nothing ugly would dare show its face in one of his movies. This adventure has the Lethal Ladies running around all the tropical beaches they can find. It's a tough life.Sidaris is in complete control of his movies. He knows exactly what he wants to see. Well, there are two things out of his control: The quality of the acting and the plot. These two items are of secondary concern. What's important here is that the Lethal Ladies bounce around the globe fighting terrorists. Thank God they are here to protect us. "Return to Savage Beach" has the ladies going after a treasure so that the bad guys don't get it. That's enough plot for me.So what about those Lethal Ladies? Let's see, we've got Julie Strain, Julie Smith, Shae Marks and Carrie Westcott. It's a gold mine. Once again, Strain and Smith make all my dreams come true. Smith has a couple of turns as a stripper and Strain jumps in a pool with Buff Bagwell! Shae Marks plays Tiger. Grrrrrr!!! She even has leopard skin outfits. Her breasts are truly amazing. Marks breasts manage to surpass both Strain's and Smith's impressive displays. Westcott is good as the red leather wearing, roller blading, pizza delivery girl. She has very large breasts as well. No surprise there.If you want to watch large breasted women save the world, pick up a Sidaris flick today. "Return to Savage Beach" is just what you would expect. Think big.