Sorry, this movie sucks

It's fun, it's light, [but] it has a hard time when its tries to get heavy.

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

It's easily one of the freshest, sharpest and most enjoyable films of this year.

I'm ready for people to hate me - and based on other reviews I've got a feeling it'll happen soon enough. I do not love the Dark Crystal - sorry, but I'd rather watch paint dry or grass grow.The movie, in short, goes like this: on a distant fantasy world everything is going to end unless a crystal, THE crystal, which controls everything, can be fixed. A Gelfling, that could be a boy or a girl creature; embarks on a journey to do so. He's not the most appropriate creature to save the world but he's the one that is chosen based on an old dead prophecy, and because the mystics (or whatever) are to hippy to help out, despite their size and the potential ease in which they could get passed bad guys. Along the way he meets all manner of different creatures and beings. He turns his nose up at help based on appearance and reputation - the film could have ended sooner if he'd have taken the outcast bird thing on his word and gone to the castle sooner. Can he fix the crystal and save existence - I won't spoil it for you but I'm sure you can guess seeing as it's a kids/family puppet film. As I said, I do not love this film. I don't hate it, I don't like it either. Maybe I'm just the type of person it wasn't intended for. I can appreciate the puppetry skills; I can appreciate the effort that went into making things and making everything look the way it does. I just the story is softer than the material used to make the puppets, it doesn't have much substance or depth, I don't think there enough development in characters, and I don't think there enough of a pace to keep me interested. If I was to keep bad mouthing this I could say things like the story makes no sense, and it's annoying that it's a child in a wig in long shots and then close up shots it's a asexual puppet. I know this is aimed at kids rather than thirtysomething year olds - but believe me, I tried watching this as a kid and fell asleep. I watched it in my teens and got bored and turned it off. I watched it in my twenties and fell asleep again. I watched it this week again, in my thirties, and had to force eyes to stay open and kept refilling my coffee. It's obviously a good looking film, but it's bland. 7 days of the week I'd rather watch "Labyrinth" or any other Muppet film. I suspect it's for kids between the ages of 6 and 10. It's got scary bits in it probably not suitable for under the age of 6, but at the same time it's not free flowing and exciting enough for post 10 years old or me.Would I watch this again? Hopefully not, although if I've tried to understand it every century of my life, I may yet find some fun out of it when I'm in a nursing home dribbling into my dinner, amused at the pretty colours. Sorry, 2 out of 10 is the most generous I can be with this, and that's so I don't get lynched by the super fans - I wanted to give it 1 out of 10 but I'm sure my partner will leave me if I write that.

For some odd reason then I never have gotten around to watching "The Dark Crystal", despite the fact that the movie is from 1982 and also despite the fact that I have been playing fantasy RPG since around 1985. But 2017 was the year that I finally got to watch it.The story told in this movie was actually rather good story, and it being a very classic fantasy tale, but I will also say that it was a generic one of such stories. But that was not really a bad thing. If you enjoy the fantasy genre, then you will definitely enjoy the story told in "The Dark Crystal".The creature design in the movie was quite good, but of course that was to be expected given this being at the hands of Jim Henson and Frank Oz. The level of details on the characters and creatures was just spectacular, and the ideas for the creatures was quite good and very much in the fantasy genre.In fact, the entire world was vibrant and felt very much alive. And the amounts of detail in the sets, props and costumes was just mind-blowing. They really put so much effort into bringing this fantasy world to life that you feel like you are right there yourself. I was more than impressed by the level of details there was to be seen in every single shot.I watched "The Dark Crystal" with my seven year old son, and he was also quite entertained by the movie, and found many of the creatures to be rather interesting and fun to look at.It should be said that the storyline is rather generic and predictable, which might not be the best of selling points. But personally I could look past that because of my admiration and love for the fantasy genre.If you enjoy the fantasy genre, then you really much take the time to sit down to watch "The Dark Crystal". This is definitely a typical and classic Jim Henson and Frank Oz movie. And I will say that the movie also has enough contents to actually support being watched more than just once.

The Dark Crystal (1982): Dir: Jim Henson, Frank Oz / Voices: Stephen Garlick, Lisa Maxwell, Billie Whitelaw, Percy Edwards, Barry Dennen: Inventive Muppet style adventure that explodes onto the screen with such flair for detail yet it ultimately fails as a story. The plot introduces the peaceful Mystics that resemble a cross-breed of sloth and camel. They send a Gelfling on a quest to obtain a shard missing from the Dark Crystal. Failure will result in darkness at the aligning of the three suns. The Gelfling's name is Jen, which is actually a girl's name. His enemies are the evil Skeksis empire that drain fluid out of their victims because their leader wishes to retain his youth. Why doesn't he just take part in a skin care commercial? This is way too dark for young children and there is little to hold interest for adults either. Detailed production with direction by Jim Henson and Frank Oz. Jen is the underdog hero sent on the quest, and Kira is his female counter-part worth her weight. There is an ogre with a flair for wisdom, which the screenwriter never displays. Other characters are not quite so broad but the effects and costumes seem to be the payoff over presenting personalities. The climax lacks the payoff needed but not much of this made any sense to begin with. The production is crystal clear Henson at his best but it is not up to par with the Muppets. Score: 3 ½ / 10

To save Thra the last Gelflings, Jen and Kira, go on a quest to find a shard of the UrSkek Crystal which will fulfil a prophesy that links the fate of two races, the cruel Skeksis and the gentle Mystics. Jim Henson with his talented artists and performers create an unparalleled, eerie, oppressive atmosphere. The Dark Crystal is a technological and artistic achievement and still holds up pretty well today. As well featuring real locations there's great set and creature design, puppetry, miniatures, matte paintings, optical composite work and some blue screen. Trevor Jones' score is powerful and Joseph O'Conor's Orson Welles-like narration sets the scene. The voice tones of the leads are sombre, whispery and slow, adding to its hazy dreamlike quality in contrast to the harshness of Aughra and the various Skeksis characters. As a fantasy film Henson creates a compelling world with its array of creatures. As the Gelflings go on their quest they encounter friendly monsters, Landstriders, Nebrie and (Fraggle Rock-esque) Podlings to name a few. But over all its dark in nature from ceremonial imagery, right down to the Garthim a crustacean-like creatures employed by the Skeksis to capture the Gelflings. Memorable is the exiled SkekSil the Chamberlain notably performed by Frank Oz and voiced by Barry Dennen.Refreshingly pre-CGI, Dark Crystal is impressive, but the pace is questionable and there is little of the Henson-Oz trademark a sense of fun which he injected into his Muppet works and later Labyrinth. That's not to take anything away from his 1982 offering. As story it can teach a lesson in morality to children but the visuals and tone appear for the most part geared for entertaining adults.Overall, its infectious, mysterious, romantic Gothic atmosphere can leave you in a groggy dream-like state. Whether that's a good thing or not is debatable, but not many fantasy films can boast such an affect or lasting visual impact.