The Worst Film Ever

One of the best films i have seen

I enjoyed watching this film and would recommend other to give it a try , (as I am) but this movie, although enjoyable to watch due to the better than average acting fails to add anything new to its storyline that is all too familiar to these types of movies.

.Like the great film, it's made with a great deal of visible affection both in front of and behind the camera.

They drink, they dance, they drink some more. They romance some, then drink. It's highball after horse's neck after the ship's best Irish. Then, they drink. Captain Walter Connelly already seems like he's had a few shooters when he accuses assistant Leon Errol of being drunk. Who should come aboard ship but silent screen has-been, playing, guess what, a disillusioned journalist on a seemingly endless bender. When meddlesome nouvo riche Alison Skipworth shows up at the captains it table and proceeds to rearrange the seating, more drinks flow, simply to make her somewhat tolerable. By the time this cruise is only half way done, the ensemble of this pre- code comedy will have more booze in them than a hillbilly's still.There are far too many characters and story lines going on to sustain interest in this poverty row attempt to emulate MGM's "Grand Hotel" and "Dinner at Eight". At the time, Columbia wasn't among the five majors, but it's obvious from this, that they were working on increasing that number. In its 90 minute length, it focuses on the fight over stolen bonds, the revelation over the secrets of a married woman with a past, attempted suicide and a revolution in a third world country. And that's not between drinks, but during them.Among the ensemble are Victor MacLaglen, Helen Vinson, Wynne Gibson and Fred Keating. Character performers Donald Meek and Walter Catlett offer some amusement. There are some very clever lines, and Connelly is hysterically funny as the cynical title character. But when a film has this much going on, it should come with character cards to describe who is who and how they are involved in the story. And considering how much booze flows, a wine list wouldn't be bad, either.

This oddly-named film is so titled because the captain (Water Connolly) states this fact as his ship sets sail. The actual film, however has little to do with its captain. The upshot Columbia Pictures' "The Captain Hates the Sea" is done in the storytelling style of MGM's "Grand Hotel" but with more of the humor attempted in "Dinner at Eight" - you will be able to cast the "Dinner at Eight" stars quite easily into this film. The main story involves police detective Victor McLaglen (as Junius P. Schulte) following slight-of-hand Fred Keating (as Danny Checkett) on ship, seeking some swiped bonds (they're as good as money). Mr. Keating is, in turn, trails pretty Helen Vinson (as Janet Grayson), and both men become rivals for her affection...That may be the main story, but the focus of attention clearly falls on fourth-billed John Gilbert (as Steve Bramley)...Mr. Gilbert plays an alcoholic writer from Hollywood, taking the cruise to quit drinking and start writing his great American novel. Gilbert gets a good amount of screen time, and was, if you had to pick one of the "ensemble" cast, the main star of "The Captain Hates the Sea". Most importantly, this was Mr. Gilbert's last appearance, as he would die prematurely, in just over a year. Gilbert's death has been linked to his chronic alcoholism, and he appears drunk in this film. Since the role calls for him to be drunk, you could say he utilized "method" acting. But, really, on close inspection, this this was a sad role for a dying man. One of his co-stars also appears inebriated, and most of the top-billed men in the cast were notorious drinkers...Gilbert had built a fairly solid career, over a decade, but his popularity exploded in 1925, due to appearances in "The Merry Widow" and "The Big Parade". In these two productions, Gilbert advanced himself not only as a romantic star, but also as a serious actor. The quality of Gilbert's performance had advanced so that no less than Lillian Gish chose him to co-star in her next production. And, later, Greta Garbo insisted he be cast in "Queen Christina" (1934), which turned out to be Gilbert's last excellent production. "Queen Christina" was also a big "box office" hit, out-grossing all of the older Garbo/Gilbert films. His earlier sound films weren't bad, either - but Gilbert was no longer a superstar, and he didn't know how to be anything but one.***** The Captain Hates the Sea (10/22/34) Lewis Milestone ~ John Gilbert, Victor McLaglen, Fred Keating, Helen Vinson

Captain Hates the Sea, The (1934) ** (out of 4)Disappointing comedy has pretty much been forgotten by everyone except for die-hard film buffs who will probably remember the film not for its quality but due to it running over budget thanks in large part to a cast full of drunks who spent more time drinking than actually acting. The GRAND HOTEL type story takes place on a ship where we get several small stories including a P.I. (Victor McLaglen) tracking some stolen bonds, a writer (John Gilbert) suffering from alcoholism and of course a Captain (Walter Connally) who is constantly making the life of his steward (Leon Errol) a mess. For a comedy this thing really lacks any laughs and perhaps the funniest quote took place off the film. If legend is true, Columbia president Harry Cohn telegraphed director Milestone saying, 'Return to studio. The cost is staggering.' The director would reply, "So is the cast!" Who knows if that's the truth or not but it's certainly funnier than anything else in this film, which is a shame because we're given a very talented cast and most turn in fine performances but in the end there's just not much anyone could do with this screenplay. Considering the troubled production, who knows if there was more to this story that hit the cutting room floor but we're left with a pretty big mess. It seems that the film struggles to connect all the stories but that doesn't matter too much because none of them are overly interesting. I'd say the most interesting one deals with Gilbert but at the same time you have to question why he was given this part. Well, considering John Barrymore was a major alcoholic and ended up spoofing it in his later films I guess you can see why director Milestone would want Gilbert for this role. He certainly looks in pretty rough shape and appears to have aged fifteen-years from what he looked like in a few of his earlier talkies but at the same time he's certainly giving it his all and actually manages to turn in a memorable performance, which would be his last. McLaglen will put a smile on your face in a few of the scenes as will Errol who is constantly getting into trouble. Alison Skipworth, Donald Meeks, Wayne Gibson, Fred Keating and Helen Vinson are some of the supporting performers and they too deliver fine work. The Three Stooges appear as band members but the studio gives them very little to do. In the end, this is a real disappointment considering the talent involved but I'm sure film buffs will get some mild entertainment out of seeing all these familiar faces in one place.

As another poster has stated, John Gilbert had taken to heavy drink after his dismissal from MGM for having a less-than-adequate speaking voice, at least according to Louis B. Mayer. Director Milestone convinced irascible Columbia Studio chief Harry Cohn to hire Gilbert for this movie, promising Cohn that he would keep Gilbert sober by shooting at sea, away from bars and nightclubs. Problem was, many of the other actors in this film also had tremendous thirsts- Victor McLaglen and Leon Errol, to name a couple- and they found ways to hide their bottles even while filming on water. It wasn't long before the drinking began holding up the shooting, prompting a telegram from the studio: "What's holding up production? The costs are staggering." To which Milestone replied: "So is the cast."