Please don't spend money on this.

All of these films share one commonality, that being a kind of emotional center that humanizes a cast of monsters.

It is neither dumb nor smart enough to be fun, and spends way too much time with its boring human characters.

Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

The Adventures of Pinocchio (1996): Dir: Steve Barron / Cast: Martin Landau, Jonathon Taylor Thomas, Rob Schneider, Bebe Neuwirth, Udo Kier: A bad film with great production values where filmmakers went on an adventure and created a film unfit for children. Lackluster live version of Disney classic with Martin Landau as Gepetto who carves a wooden puppet out of a tree. He is surprised when his wooden puppet comes to life but perhaps he should check his alcohol level. Pinocchio's nose grows when he tells a lie and he gets schemed into a circus where all of the boys are turned into donkeys. One wonders if Steve Barron's nose grew when he directed the film. He certainly didn't follow the classic tale to total degree. Jiminy Cricket is replaced by some other insect, which is not explained and certainly not accepted. Landau makes for a fine Gepetto whose dream of fatherhood becomes a reality. Jonathan Taylor Thomas voices the wooden puppet with appeal and appears briefly as the real Pinocchio. Rob Schneider and Bebe Neuwirth play two pathetic villains in what can only be described as a bad joke on them. Udo Kier plays a character named Lorenzini who is apparently a new character, as if this version wasn't screwed up enough as it is. Pointless live version isn't totally faithful to the classic but the visual attempt is there. Perhaps the script should substitute as fire wood. Score: 2 / 10

So a man loves a woman and she loves the mans brother, he is hurt by this but will forever love her and even carved their initials in a tree. Many years later this hopeless romantic has grown old and now carves dummy puppets out of trees to keep him company. He carves a boy out of this log which bared his initialed heart and has no idea the tree was magical. The dummy he carves comes to life and starts causing innocent trouble all over town. The old man loves the boy, but he cant control it. There is a man in town who does puppet shows and wants this amazing puppet for his act and blackmails the old man to get it. The puppet runs away and soon finds the evil theater man is turning young boys into donkeys, and he almost gets turned himself in his quest to become a real boy. He has a cricket companion named Pepe and Pepe tries to teach the boy what real love is and convinces him that his creator is the one person who loves him, real or not. He goes off to find the old man and even more adventures occur as they are swallowed into the belly of a whale. Soon Pinnochios flaws help them escape and a lesson is learned and eventually the love between these two make Pinocchip a real boy.I have actually never seen any version of this film before to my knowledge. It is possible that I have watched the cartoon, but forgotten. This movie was way too cheesy for me. I hated the cheesy music, I thought the villain was not mean enough. I didn't like the C.G.I. cricket and thought that was a bit too much. The effects looked bad and I just wasn't impressed. I like Martin Landou and he's about all I tolerated. I don't like Jonathan Taylor Thomas and hate Rob Schneider so casting was bad.Maybe kids would like it, but I just thought it was boring, not colorful or exciting and way too sappy and slow. 2/10 stars

If you have seen the original Disney cartoon based on an Italian story about a wooden puppet who becomes a real boy, then you'll probably know the story already. This is basically the same story again but just a few special effects and a few extra things. Martin Landau as Geppetto is quite a nice guy, although you don't exactly see him a lot. The kid who plays Pinocchio is just weird and idiotic, I mean first he doesn't know what's going on, and then suddenly he has ideas of his own about things. Also starring Dawn French as Baker's wife, Griff Rhys Jones as Tino and David Doyle as the voice of Pepe the Cricket, what was wrong with the name Jiminey. Aqequate, although it is okay for kids!

It's hard for me to believe this movie had received such a low rating when it deserves wonderful reviews. Adventures of Pinocchio is a true gem, so perfect, so unique, that it can only be defined as a work of art. You don't have to believe me, just rent it today. I have watched this movie several times and is one of my favorite movies of all times.