So much average

A Brilliant Conflict

If the ambition is to provide two hours of instantly forgettable, popcorn-munching escapism, it succeeds.

It is encouraging that the film ends so strongly.Otherwise, it wouldn't have been a particularly memorable film

I have a policy when it comes to movies I've never heard of. 45 minutes. If a movie cannot garner my interest in 45 minutes, it's just not going to get any better. This movie did not make it past the 45 minute mark.It's an "all-over-place", wacky comedy that just never comes together. Somebody called in some favors here, because there are bunch of names you'll recognize, but it's all wasted.You can get away with doing some things outside the box, if you're a talented director. Tarantino did it with Pulp Fiction the same year this came out, but Julie Cypher is NOT Tarantino. As of this writing, this movie is over 20 years old, and Cypher has not made another.The whole mess falls flat, and the point came home when a shootout was punctuated with on-screen words like "BLAMMO" and "POWIE". It was straight out of the 1960's Batman TV series.I caught my 45 minutes on free cable. I suggest you don't waste even that much time.

I happened upon this movie at a pay-per-view movie site. Seeing an opportunity to watch a movie without heading to the video store was very appealing. So, after reviewing 10 or 12 titles, I settled on Teresa's Tattoo partly because of the premise, partly because of actor Lou Diamond Phillips- The Big Hit, Stand and Deliver.What was really interesting was seeing a number of popular actors in this movie that are uncredited as the top billers in the print ads- Joe Pantoliano, Teppi Hedren and more- executing a poorly directed script. This is probably a movie they would like to disassociate themselves.The movie, as a whole, was poorly executed as an entertainment vehicle. The script lacked the comedic flow necessary to evoke substantial laughter from this viewer. There were a few funny moments (particularly the desk sergeant/police officer scene with Teresa/Gloria (Adrienne Shelley)), but most of the scenes fell flat.Rating: 4/10

The good----[Nancy McKeon's and Adrien Shelly's roles as Sara and Teresa are good. Sara's and Teresa's adventures take them from Teresa's stepparent's house through other places to some guy's house.]The bad-----[The bad guys{one is a redneck hick and the others are all just dummies.}]The ugly----[C. Thomas Howell should of been replaced alltogether. You know what? They could of used someone like Dennis Leary to play the part of the crime boss and frozen food factory owner. He would of made a smoother talking crime boss and frozen food factory owner than Mr. Howell.]Overall, this movie is still watchable.

Like I said, this movie marks the start of Mr. Howell's nose dive into B movie land. It's a real shame too, now I read in an interview that he did some movies for financial reasons, and I have to say this has to be one of them, because the movie is god awful. What was Lou Diamond, doing there, and so many other cameos, you start to wonder what most of these people where thinking. This movie was probably out to rent right around the time, of Howell's last good movie That Night, go rent that movie instead, or rent one of Howell's better B movies, like the Sweeper, or something else If your a fan of c.t. I really hope, that one day, he can get out of b movie land, and get a supporting role, in a good movie, because Teresa's Tattoo, is horrible, avoid at all costs.