An action-packed slog

A Major Disappointment

This is a coming of age storyline that you've seen in one form or another for decades. It takes a truly unique voice to make yet another one worth watching.

One of the worst ways to make a cult movie is to set out to make a cult movie.

"Telefon" isn't exactly the most plausible espionage thriller ever made, but it was particularly the far-fetched and flamboyant plot line, along with the acting performances and harsh violence, that kept me glued to the screen. "Telefon" is the codename for an old Soviet war incentive against the US. Years ago, during the peak years of the Cold War, 51 Russian secret agents were strategically placed all over America. They were instructed to build up regular lives, however, reciting a specific piece from Robert Frost's poem "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" triggers some kind of hypnotic effect that turns them into unstoppable kamikaze soldiers with sabotaging assignments. The "Telefon" project got pretty much forgotten during the détente era, but now the dangerously berserk Stalinist Nicolai Dalchimsky single-handedly decide to awake the "sleeper" agents and leave a trail of destruction throughout America. Moscow headquarters' only chance to prevent World War III from happening is to send Major Grigori Borzov, who's loyal as a dog and has a photographic memory, to the US and eliminate Dalchimsky. You got to admit the idea behind "Telefon", which is based on a best-selling novel, is crazy enough to provide 100 minutes of grotesque and exhilarating action. In fact, the action and the extended imaginative sabotaging operations are what matter most here, as the rest of the script is full of ineptness and holes. The film hastily jumps from one wrecking sequence to the next without bothering to explain the background of the "Telefon" project or the motives of the culprit. Donald Pleasance, who portrays the evil Dalchimsky, is terribly underused because the screenplay never once bothers to elaborate on his malignant plans. This could have been a great role for Pleasance, but now it's just another villainous character like he has depicted dozens and dozens already. Charles Bronson is at his best, since he doesn't have to speak any more than absolutely necessary, but nevertheless acts forceful and confident. Don Siegel's direction is surprisingly pedestrian and distant, which isn't normal for him. Still, "Telefon" is good solid Charlie Bronson entertainment with a totally bonkers plot line!

Telefon has several good trumps, but suffers here and there in a painful way from budget restrictions. The latter becomes clear within the 5 first minutes, as we see KGB people using a Mercedes van, while a top man sits waiting in a limo from the same German car company. Not really substantial, but it nevertheless gives the movie instantly something cheap, a made for TV-only label. One could debate about whether the presence of Donald Pleasance is helping or not. His acting is always a double edge sword: on the one hand, it is funny to see him exploit at the maximum the small roles he got, by using the most futile objects like a handkerchief ("Hell is a city"). On the other hand, he often portrayed the bad guys in a somewhat too pronounced and stereotypical way, which takes away a part of the suspense. His role in Fantastic voyage is a good example, and the same happens in Telefon. His blond whig he uses in the beginning of the movie adds to the "cheapo" character of the movie. Maybe the budget was somewhat mismanaged ? The blowing up an entire valley surely was impressive, and added credibility to the real menace the USA was facing. On the other hand, a few fireballs less here and there, but eastern European looking cars in stead would have been a nice compromise. Not withstanding these small imperfections, I quite liked this decent movie. Using brainwashed people to perform dirty jobs of course wasn't a new idea. In movies such as the Manchurian Candidate and Parallax View, this road already had been explored. What gives Telefon that extra menacing touch, is the fact that the 50 people on the KGB list live ordinary lives, unaware of the looming danger. We briefly meet a mother planning to make pancakes for her kids, a priest busy decorating his church, the owner of a helicopter taxi with money and marital problems, the owner of a car repair shop etc. And then, each of them is abruptly called away from their ordinary day-to-day lives. It almost would make you look quite suspiciously at friendly neighbors, who might or might not be too on a KGB-list, waiting to be activated and perform one specific task of death and destruction. The fact that one of the victims is used to destroy a disaffected military installation even adds an extra dimension to that lurking menace. This juxta-position of potentially dangerous people amids an innocent surrounding is of course no new formula. Still, it is used with cleverness here in Telefon. Still, maybe the generally somewhat too mild tension needed some extra punch here and there to make this a classic spy movie. (By the way, was it the CIA who was taking pictures from Borshov and Barbara, when they met at the airport ? It's not really followed up) Bronson was strictly "mission first" during 90 % of the movie, and immediately set the tone by asking Barbara not to be "so damned cheerful." But the American sun and beautiful all American girl Lee Remick had no trouble at all to melt the Soviet ice, and working at a détente at personal level. They look a bit like an unlikely silly pair, with no sparks flying around, just some decent double entendre (miles and miles to go...) Still, I always liked silly pairs ! Certainly much more than the all too obvious and slick matches such as in Hitchcock movies à la North by Northwest. Urk !Anyway, don't let such details spoil the fun. Nor should you be distracted by the very 1970's cheap looks of the motel rooms etc. "Domino principle" too had similar shortcomings, still it is fun to see that movie again every now and then for its own merits. Telefon is indeed –as another reviewer pointed out- "the ultimate détente movie", made in an era in which strategic arms limitations were agreed upon, and the Helsinki agreements were signed by 35 countries. Before that, in the post-Watergate period, we already got some movies, critical of the CIA or more shadowy agencies and security companies, such as "The Conversation", "Three days of the Condor" and "The Domino Principle". Here, things are even taken a step further: Russian agents are on high alert, because one of their own renegades is trying to trigger off a Third World War. So they send their top agent to the USA to clean up the mess... If a new McCarthy would have emerged under Reagan,Bronson and Remick would have been blacklisted because of what would have been labeled this "pinko" movie. In a way, the international diplomatic situation got once more reflected in the history of movie making. In 1943-45, there were some very pro Russian movies made by Hollywood,such as The North Star (1943) or Mission to Moscow (1943). After that came red scare movies such as the Red Menace or I married a Comminist. Things chanced again after the death of Stalin and the disgrace of Sen. Mc Carthy. The Bette Davis movie "Storm Center" (1956) for ex. is one of those movies that takes a more balanced approach to communism. Sputnik and Cuba once again made the pendulum move to the other side, while it swung back to the center left with efforts like Telefon. As such, this movie is an interesting witness of its time.

This movie is one of my favorites. Lee Remick and Charles Bronson were the perfect pair for this thriller. Donald Pleasance was also well casted. Who cares if a KGB uniform was not exactly correct as some people have commented on! When I see a movie I want to be entertained and this one had me on edge from beginning to end. Bravo! I would love to get a copy of this film as these type of movies are ones that you could watch over and over again. The chemistry of Lee Remick and Charles Bronson happened as soon as they laid eyes on each other and their performances were excellent. I was also intrigued by the surprise ending

This excellent spy thriller directed by action master Don Siegel unfortunately has a drab, aloof title that causes many to skip it for a more exciting-sounding tag. Even Charles Bronson fans, and they are legion, often ignore this little gem for others of the genre. Not only a dilly of a suspense story filled with some of Hollywood's best actors at the time, "Telefon" also contains humor and many tongue-in-cheek lines. The Robert Frost poem, "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening," utilized to trigger the drug-induced hypnotized Soviet agents to finish their mission becomes a pun for KGB agent Maj. Grigori Borzov (Bronson)when ready to give alluring Barbara (Lee Remick) a tumble in the hay. Borzov looks KGB agent Barbara lustfully in the eyes and emphatically affirms, "Miles to go before we sleep."Though many consider the story fanciful, it is not as far fetched as some of the actual schemes concocted by overly zealous CIA and KGB officials during the Cold War, especially at the time of the eyeball to eyeball confrontation between the Soviets and the Americans during the days of U-2, the Bay of Pigs, and the Cuban Missile Crisis. The fifty KGB agents trained at the time of the U-2 Incident to replace recently deceased Americans with similar profiles, to take out key installation sites when receiving the oral code, lines from the Robert Frost poem, are put on what seems to be permanent hold until one KGB trainer goes berserk and reopens the can of worms over a decade later, when many of the installations have been closed, converted, or moved. Enter agents Borzov and his supposed helper, Barbara, to stop the madman, Nicolai Dalchimsky, played with his usual nefariousness by Donald Pleasence. Borzov uncovers a method to his madness and the fun begins. But what is to become of Borzov once Dalchimsky is removed? There's plenty of spills and thrills along the way with the seasoned actors given intelligent and often humorous lines by writer Peter Hyams whose script is based on the novel by Walter Wager.Though no one in the cast falters, even in the bit parts, Tyne Daly steals the show as Dorothy Putterman (oh, how the name fits), a computer nerd in those glorious DOS days of old before the world heard of Bill Gates. Not only does Daly get some of the best lines in the movie, she delivers them with élan. She also reminds the viewer to be careful what is said to a computer, because they are very sensitive little fellers.