Please don't spend money on this.

Pretty good movie overall. First half was nothing special but it got better as it went along.

Clever and entertaining enough to recommend even to members of the 1%

Story: It's very simple but honestly that is fine.

This movie combines a killer clown, a spooky doll & some good old black magic. Sounds interesting? Well it could've been. Sadly the acting here is terrible & it looks like it was filmed on a mobile phone from 2007. Apart from a few tongue in check moments later on this film takes itself far too seriously. I think the makers must have thought that they were making a SCARY movie but the only scary thing about this trash is that it got made & released in the first place. If it wasn't for a fair smattering of cheap gore I'd have awarded this 1/10. Very, very BAD!

I only had to watch fifteen minutes of this "film" to realize how bad it truly is (outside the prior reviews). Many other low-budget films on direct video are far better than this mess. This "thing" is more a low-low budget behind-the-scenes movie wannabe than an actual release. The biggest thing that stood out to me in the opener was the gal's cleavage shots. As if this imagery is reason enough to finish the movie.. every Horror film has excellent cleavage moments.. that's what psycho serial killers aim for, and makes for a pretty up-tense film (I don't think so) Don't waste your time (or $$)This is a train-wreck at its finest; terrible directing, acting, cinematography, and general overall production.

I bought curtains an 80's slasher flick and 3 newer horror films came with. The others weren't bad. Compared to this garbage....they are like award winners. This movie displays some of the most horrible acting I have EVER seen in any movie. The terrible story is brought to you by what looks like lip syncing... Not sure.... Better yet, they explain things you could clearly see taking place. Like the cliché actor who reads the action cue before their line and then the line. Hope that makes sense. There are.some plot twists but the movie is so horrible you can't get off the fixation that an end is near....and the highlight of the film a decent topless shot. Whew, roll credits..... NOPE!!!! This trash drags out through all this nonsense...I have never been so offended as I feel after my DVD player was violated by this garbage. How is it on the same.DVD as curtains? Epic horrible moments...Val's bad-ass pose during the "battle" The further her hands are behind her, the more ass she kicks! Lmfao..... This movie stole 1.5 hours of my life, I did it for you, DONOT EVER WATCH THIS!

Writer and director Ryan Badalamenti opens up the world of Bobby and Val for us. They're the typical couple in love, with two glaring exceptions: first, her love for her clown doll might exceed her love of Bobby. And second, their friends are in the habit of getting brutally murdered. Who is the killer, and what is the secret of the clown doll?As someone who semi-professionally reviews low budget films, I always walk into the movie expecting to be visually tortured. For example, just a night earlier, I watched "Raptor Island", which ranks among the most horrible films ever made (yet is still somehow good enough to make it on TV). Let me ease your fears: "Secrets of the Clown" is not one of those low budget films -- it has a great plot, decent characters and a villain that can really kick some butt.A specific concern I had with this film was the "clown horror subgenre" stigma. After "It" and "Killer Klowns From Outer Space", most people -- and I was in this group -- think we've said all we need to about clowns. Well, Badalamenti proved me wrong. "Secrets" is a welcome addition to the genre, and goes to new heights no one has dared take it before.The movie isn't perfect by a long shot. Some scenes, most notably the introduction, seem to be poorly lit and it's hard to make out what's going on. Some of the acting is a bit stiff, particularly from Paul Pierro (Bobby). When Bobby is among his friends, Pierro's limits really shine through as he is outdone by every other actor on the screen. Some of their acting seemed forced, but it wasn't anything more tragic than the average Rolfe Kanefsky ("Hazing", "Nightmare Man") film, and I have a special love in my heart for Rolfe.Those concerns aside, there's plenty to love about "Secrets of the Clown". The director and director of photography know the camera and know their targets. Plenty of angles are used and we're not treated to the same boring "point and shoot" method one all-too-often runs across. The score also deserves a mention -- the blend of incidental music and good, clean rock was apparent from the start and used in all the appropriate places. The last thing you want is an absence of sound or too much and the balance here is perfect.Horror fans who crave blood will get blood. Oh yes, there will be blood! Not much in the gore department, and far too many of the killings happen off-camera... but I cannot stress enough about the blood. This film is an exploding aneurysm with gallons and gallons of glorious blood! Contrary to Paul Pierro's performance (where his best line is a "South Park" reference), we have actor Micheal Kott, who plays the psychic. Kott is phenomenal, with both his character and his acting nothing short of outstanding. While the film is good before Kott arrives, it becomes a whole new movie when he's on screen and something you can't take your eyes off. From his entrance to the final battle (but who fights who? you have to wait and see), Kott steals the show.Not to give anything away, but this film has more than a few plot twists. I thought I knew five minutes in where the movie was going. I was wrong. Then I thought an hour in I understood, but I was wrong. But despite the twists, everything still makes perfect sense, which is more than I can say for some trendy writers who think a twist -- sensical or not -- is all a film needs. M. Night Shyamalan could learn a lesson from Ryan Badalamenti.So, should you see "Secrets of the Clown"? I think anyone who enjoys lower budget or independent horror should have to say yes. Forget Hollywood blockbusters and expensive CGI -- this is what horror was meant to be. Oh, and for those who love skin... keep your eyes open for Playboy model Susie Christine. You won't be disappointed.