Overrated and overhyped

Good movie but grossly overrated

From my favorite movies..

best movie i've ever seen.

When I first started watching this movie i thought it would be nothing more than a married couple having some marital problems and the husband or wife having an affair. I expected the husband to be having an affair with a female as he portrayed no signs of being a homosexual or even bisexual. That seemed to be one of the biggest turning points of the movie. The husband seemed to be controlling and having no consideration with regards to others feelings especially those of his wife and "lover". I felt sorry for him because he could never be happy with his life even when he had both relationships it didn't seem enough for him. He was a broken and selfish person. He could never accept who he truly was and perhaps this was because he was afraid of what others especially his wife would think of him. He knew people would see him and think differently of him. Which shows that what people think of others have a bigger impact than what we would expect. It seemed that throughout his life people had made decisions for him therefore he always had someone to blame for how things would turn out and that would explain why he could never make the right decisions in his relationships. It seems that the only good decision he made was to kill him. By killing himself he freed his wife and lover of any more negative emotions and it also brought them closer as they began to find comfort and closure within each other. By him still living, his wife and lover knowing about each other, would have brought no good in any of their lives.This is a good movie to be exposed to especially as a young adult in today's society where people generally just do things without even thinking of the consequences or not even taking others feelings into consideration. It teaches one to be mindful of what we say and do and to be respectful of how others live their lives even if we do not agree with it.

The kaleidescope of images that make up the beautiful opening credits (which is probably the best opening I've seen in a long time) truly sets the tone for this film. And in this film ,just like a kaleidescope, the parts that make it up seem simple enough. You have the pretty wife, the cute kid, and the husband with a secret. You have the lover on the side, a handsome doctor. But this handsome Doctor Diego, played wonderfully by Javier Bardem, is having an affair with Alberto, the husband in the not so perfect marriage. But , just like the kaleidescope ,this is where the simplicity ends. We've all seen the films of people finding out, and coming to terms with their sexuality.That's what makes this film unique. It's not another "I'm discovering I'M Gay" picture. This movie doesn't follow that typical plot. The kaleidescope effect comes into play. You have to deal with a range of emotions that for me, at first, made me completely loath Alberto . The wife suspects, the wife finds out, yet Alberto's lies are too deeply woven in his psyche . And although Diego knows there's not something quite right, but because he's in love, he looks past them. He wants to believe he's not a fool.Alberto incessantly lies to both his wife, and his lover.The man is completely arrogant and self absorbed on every level. He is indifferent to his wife and Diego.Though his wife knows, he makes promises to her he can't keep. And he strings Diego along with more lies and distance, with complete disregard for the mans love for him.. I was completely hateful in regards to Alberto, but the more I thought about it..the more he came across to me as a man so desperately and selfishly in love with two people , and what each had to offer, that he actually couldn't fathom losing either one of them. The range of emotions, from love, betrayal , trust , and understanding are just a few of the emotions that come into play. I love how this movie isn't about being gay, but how one person can effect the lives of others with the tangled web of deception , that eventually effects and destroys exactly what one was trying to hold onto in the first place.I know many are disappointed with the conclusion of the story. But for me, I found the journey far more important to what was the obvious and inevitable outcome.Ohh..and the man on man sex scene...SMOKING HOT!

****(Torn between the life society forces one to live and the life one needs live...........)How utterly devastating for lead character, Alberto, as for any of us, to face the realization that everything he's done in life (carrying on a family work tradition, courting and marrying, parenting) is NOT who he really is. Elena's discovery of his activities forces this realization on him and places him in a situation with which he can not cope. We so clearly see this realization in his final return to their home (too late for his son's birthday party and after yet another session of love-making and sexual intercourse with Diego) where he is greeted by Elena's "how-could-you / final straw" stare. It's a look he knows he deserves, yet one to which Alberto can only respond by mutely sinking into a chair, the complete despair on his face so plainly telling us he's aware it's finally over between them. It's a grief stricken expression that says: I can't do this any more.He tells us in his final film moments that he has never been allowed to truly be who he's wanted ("I've been lying since I was a kid / hated those with me in school / hated my job"). A third generation (grandfather, father before him) airport operations worker, a husband / father......all roles 'expected' of him, all roles in which he'd truly tried to give his best. But, in the end, all that trying wasn't enough. Nor was finding "the love of his life" (Javier Bardem's Diego) to be enough, although he'd thought....hoped....it would be. Recall that, in the afterglow of their sexual intercourse, Alberto looks to Diego, lying at this side, and says: "I think this was the best time I've had in my whole life." Then in a later scene, following intercourse: "I love you, Diego. I will for a long time." Can there be any doubt who was the one for him?So, it isn't at all that his love for Elena is greater, it's that his commitment to their life had been pushed to become so strong (expectations......expectations, meeting them can tear you apart). And at the near conclusion of everything, when Diego says: "you have to start over......," you can plainly see the realization in Jordi Molla's oh-so-expressive eyes and face (this man is so beautiful), that he's just at a complete and total loss for knowing how to keep and love a family, as he's been strictly raised to do, and at the same time have the relationship he must have with Diego, the love of his life. Yes, it is his conflict over this very love which will bring everything crashing down, and his non-solution will be to run, run from it all. Doing so will result in tragedy.FINAL RESTATEMENT: In the end, then, we can see that we have been given the study of a man raised and pushed into being something he isn't. It's the story of oh, so many out there. Some are able to break out of the mold, others not---the strength of commitments (to spouse, to children, family) being too great. Or perhaps that's the excuse used for staying within the mold. But in the hearts and minds of those who do stay, the longings, those yearnings for "the other" are there.......always there.......and they hurt. Alberto was able to break from the mold, but only to a point. And in the end, trying to live in both worlds tore him apart emotionally. This film shows you the results.PS---Many aspects of this Spanish film presage ones in America's later released "Brokeback Mountain" (2005). Was Ennis's conflict any more soul-wrenching than Alberto's? True, Ennis is much the simpler man, but over and above that, when it comes to the love of your life, does it really matter where in this world you find that love (out-of-the-way ranch town or bustling city.......high-rise urban areas or soaring mountains)? ****

I saw this film a few hours ago. It's beautifully shot and there are some nice performances but it just doesn't mount up to much. It's all rather soap-operatic, with a swelling soundtrack and nowhere to go. I thought it was going to go somewhere (belatedly) in the last 20 minutes but it just got wrapped up very suddenly.I felt I was watching a remake of "Making Love". If you really want to see some emotional truth in a situation like this, see "Hollow Reed".