Clever and entertaining enough to recommend even to members of the 1%

A clunky actioner with a handful of cool moments.

Great movie. Not sure what people expected but I found it highly entertaining.

Let me be very fair here, this is not the best movie in my opinion. But, this movie is fun, it has purpose and is very enjoyable to watch.

You've got to feel a little sorry for Marnie Bannister, a lab worker in Madrid, at the beginning of "Satanik." So hideously scarred--no, we never find out how she got that way--that she makes the Vina character in "Star Trek"'s "The Menagerie" episode look good, life certainly does not hold much promise for her. Until, that is, the day when she swallows an experimental cell rejuvenation serum, and morphs into a hotty that few men seem able to resist. Too bad that her homicidal tendencies don't change with her improved looks, however... "Satanik," I must say, is an interesting experience. A joint Italian/Spanish production, shot in Madrid and Geneva, it boasts some nice European settings and an engaging story. Lead actress Magda Konopka is as sexy as can be, particularly during two striptease scenes; it's difficult to believe that the scarred Marnie is played by the same woman (I'm assuming that she is). Perhaps the single best aspect of "Satanik," though, is its chic, jazzy score; what a terrific soundtrack CD this would make! Unfortunately, the Retromedia DVD presentation here is something of a mess. The full-screen image is quite grainy, and a good deal of the picture seems to be missing at times. The film has been horribly dubbed, as well; subtitles would have been infinitely preferable. The excellent reference book "DVD Delirium 2" claims that this "Satanik" DVD is an improvement over the VHS incarnation, but it still looked pretty crummy to me. And yet, as I said, the movie is pretty interesting, and briskly paced as it is, flies by pretty quickly. It's no Mario Bava picture, but still, I don't regret having rented this one out....

Dr. Marnie Bannister (Magda Konopka) is a horribly disfigured woman. When one of her colleagues discovers a rejuvenation formula, Marnie sees it as her opportunity to become beautiful. When she's denied the drug because of possible side effects, she kills her colleague to get what she wants. The drug works and she becomes beautiful. But the formula brings out the worst in her and it's not long before she's left a string of bodies behind her.Have you ever heard the expression "as exciting as watching paint dry"? That pretty much sums up Satanik. During the film, one of the characters utters the line, "Something so horrible, it's inconceivable." I wasn't sure if he was talking about something in movie or the movie itself. I'm really disappointed because I had high hopes for this one. Satanik had possibilities, but they're never realized. At every opportunity, the plot has Marnie do the dullest things imaginable. The writing is horrible. And part of the problem is Magda Konopka. She's not that appealing and cannot carry the film on her own.Another big problem with Satanik is the direction and editing. It's a mess. We see things and places that have no bearing on anything in the movie. The camera lingers on shots too long after the scene is over. I can't think of a single shot that would call anything but unoriginal. This group of filmmakers exhibits little in the way of imagination or talent.I may not be familiar with the Italian comic on which Satanik is supposedly based, but I'm sure it's got to be better than this.

Deformed, aged female scientist kills fellow scientist in order to steal formulae for rejuvenating cells and reversing the aging process. She takes it and turns into the beautiful, evil Satanik (Magda Konopka) who goes around, seducing and murdering wealthy businessmen.She dresses very stylishly in late-60s mod clothes and manipulates those around her, looking a lot like the late Marisa Mell from the DIABOLIK film. Coincidence??However, in spite of all this, it's amateurish and sloppy without the James Bond pop-art gadgetry that DIABOLIK had had. Even the Madrid and Lake Geneva filming locations don't make up for this.The soundtrack is by Manuel Parada & Roberto Pregadio and it isn't bad at all, consisting of lush orchestration with a little fuzz guitar used as an embellishment. Perfect for one of those European Loungecore CDs that came out in the 90s.The Retromedia DVD also uses a substandard grainy color print that's in poor shape, with an explanation at the beginning saying that this was due to the age of the film. Bull ! They either didn't bother looking for a better source or they couldn't find one at all. There are only a few stills of Magda and that's it.Sloppy & poor all around, this one gets a 3 out of 10.

This Spanish-Italian co-production tells an interesting and weird story about Dr. Bannister, a woman that not only has the best years behind her, but also has a scarred face that makes her look like a freak. But in Madrid, a professor she knows has conducted some experiments on animals with a substance which regenerates cells. The experiments were successful, but the animals became aggressive. Because the professor won't allow Dr. Bannister to be the first human guinea pig, she kills him and consumes the substance. She becomes a beautiful young woman, but also a vicious killer when it comes to keep her secret a secret.The plot of the film is great fun, but Piero Vivarelli had not enough skills and money to make a cool movie out of it. Also, the film becomes boring after a good start and doesn't manage to regain a fast pace even though the film's running time doesn't exceed 83 minutes. And as the setting changes to Swiss city Geneva for the last third of the film, it sometimes even looks like a vacation movie as we see how beautiful Geneva is (which it is indeed - but it doesn't help to push the plot forward...). So, with a more talented director, better actors and a bigger budget, "Satanik" could have become an obscure Italian classic. But, as it is, it's just a lacklustre and boring crime film that isn't really worth looking for. Rating: 3 out of 10.