How sad is this?

Highly Overrated But Still Good

Pretty good movie overall. First half was nothing special but it got better as it went along.

This story has more twists and turns than a second-rate soap opera.

To describe "Robo Vampire" as a "trainwreck" would imply that it has more continuity than it does; indeed, this film seems to have been made by at least two separate film crews at different times, then stuck together.I've read Chinese folklore, and I don't recall ever reading about hopping vampires who shoot sparks out of their sleeves. Of course, without them, this flick would be a lot less fun. The head vampire wears a gorilla mask, and has an affair with a ghost girl in a see-through top, with what sounds like a Midwestern accent.There's gangsters, soldiers, mercenaries, cops, vampires, and a cyborg who looks like he was crafted from disposable roasting pans and duct tape.Overall, the film is reminiscent of the worst of Al Adamson, with an Asian flavor.

Tomas Tang launches yet another cinematic stercolith onto the bewildered general public in this absolutely insane Robocop inspired/hopping vampires/action/love story(!!!) Well, to describe the end result as not making any sense would be a gross understatement; In fact, watching this you'll very quickly find yourself rendered mouth agape in gormless disbelief as the random on screen events flash by before your bleary eyes! But, let this not put you off viewing this cinematic mess, for despite the completely nonsensical nature of it all, it is strangely captivating in a very bizarre way....much akin to being hypnotised in fact! So, what the hell is exactly going on in this? Well, in all honesty your guess is about as good as mine and I've just only just finished watching it! From what I could discern, the story centres around a bunch of drug smugglers who take the unusual step of employing a corrupt Taoist priest/sorcerer to resurrect vampires in order to stash their drugs inside them(!) But wait, for it gets even more bizarre! One of the vampires raised called the 'Vampire Beast' (on account of the cheap fx gorilla mask the relevant actor is wearing), is the ex lover of a lady ghost who shows up, none to happy that her boyfriend is being used so thus preventing the two of them from passing to the afterlife together. So what does the word 'Robo' in the films title pertain to you might ask? Well, in yet another bizarre plot tangent, an American agent is killed by the Vampire Beast and is brought back to life as a cheap looking Robo-Cop clone in order to battle the forces of evil. Yes, this is truly bewildering stuff that really needs to be seen to be believed.......the only trouble being that even whilst watching this, you STILL won't believe it!

With a budget of 2.5 million dollars and the talents of that master thespian Denis Lawson (aka Wedge "Look At The Size Of That Thing" Antilles from the original Star Wars Trilogy), you might think that a ground-breaking independent film on the subjects of robot/vampire conflicts and the Japanese drug trade could be created. I wouldn't, but you might.The acting, what there was of it, was terrible. The same goes for the writing. One unintentionally funny line occurs when "Some Guy" sneaks up on his skinny-dipping girlfriend. She sees him and covers herself. He responds with a line like: "It's a beautiful view. You should bathe more often".As pure cinematic cheese , this movie has it all: badly acted death scenes, rampant explosions and blood, horrible special effects and costumes, crazy edits, obvious stunt doubles, jumping Japanese vampires and of course, a naked ghost.Death scenes: After a man is shot, he collapses, then he looks off-camera at the unfortunate director of this movie for direction, and collapses again. Is he dead? Maybe after the end credits he'll look around again before exploding. In another scene, a hero character fires ONCE at a line of enemies and two men, from opposite ends of the line mind you, drop dead.Explosions: BOOM! BOOM! BANG! BANG! You can't even guess when one will happen and after 10 minutes, you won't care.Blood: The movie is about vampires, so each scene is like the elevator scene from The ShiningFX/Costumes: Smoke everywhere and the head vampire shoots bottle rockets, or something from his arms. The Robo character is a resembles a baked potato in all that tin foil. The Head vampire wears a gorilla mask, and not a good one at that.Crazy Edits: I'll let you pick them out.During fights featuring the ghost girl, the actress playing her is replaced by a shorter and thinner girl with different hair.Maybe in Japan vampires who jump around are frightening, but I found them hilarious. I'm not sure why putting flypaper on their faces puts them sleep either.Naked ghost:Self-explanatory.Don't expect "Traffic" meets "Robocop" meets "Dracula" because what you'll get is "Up In Smoke" meets "Short Circuit" meets "Blacula". I gave this movie a 1 because as an action film, it was truly awful. As a comedy, i'd give it a 10 even if the humour is unintentional. If you like cheesy movies, as I do, go out and rent (I bet you could buy it cheaper though) "Robo-Vampire".If You Dare...

When you see this movie, there are several scenes to watch in slow motion. When the Blond Woman leaps out the window, when Robo is blown up by a bazooka, and when the Guy on the Roof tosses the other Guy on the Roof off of the roof. These are all very funny.