A Brilliant Conflict

A lot of perfectly good film show their cards early, establish a unique premise and let the audience explore a topic at a leisurely pace, without much in terms of surprise. this film is not one of those films.

The movie really just wants to entertain people.

There is, somehow, an interesting story here, as well as some good acting. There are also some good scenes

I can't say it's the "worst" movie ever. Look at the last three installments of Star Wars. :) I enjoy watching nano-budget movies, but this one, albeit set in the guise of humor, was a bit.. uh.. dis-tasteful at times. Especially the intro. Could have done without that bit!There were some funny bits that I enjoyed. Specifically the Goblin King's last speech before dispatching his wraith. That was funny. Probably brought on by the technical difficulty of his having a mortal hand. Actually, if that type of writing was throughout the movie, it would have been closer to awesome.There seemed to me a bit too much homosexual references for such a band of brave adventurers. Teenape seemed to be the only one willing to partake of the elven chick. What's up with that? There were some references to other fantasy movies, but more tongue-in-cheek than relevant, as they were portrayed. Some bits worked...Actually, some of the make-up was okay for a nano-budget movie. Locations and sets, okay. But the story and dialog was rather missing.As I said before, I enjoy watching movies like this, because someone at least tried to make a movie. This movie "was" entertaining. And it did have some cohesion in the editing. But the script really needed some work. The actors weren't all that bad. Some actually pulled it off, but the rest sucked. Sorry.I noticed that this movie got more reviews than mine. Then again, most of this movie's reviews are how bad it sucked. I should be grateful for such reviews not being said about my first movie. Well, I guess I have praised this movie to a point? :) Don't let the negativity keep you from making more movies. Just try to make them better. 'Nuff said...

This was the worst movie I've ever seen. The beginning was childish (and gross) and was totally unrelated to the film. The budget is beyond low. A guy in a 25 cent rubber monkey mask?, scenes shot in someones basement?I thought it might be good as a parody, but its not even smart enough to be that. Basiclly its a bunch of people (whos maturity stopped around age 12) trying to throw as many dick jokes as they can into a non existent plot.I mean this looks like a video a bunch of drunk teens made on a Friday night. I cant see enjoying a second of this unless you are seriously immature, and drunk. This is like a 3rd grade fart joke told over and over.Not even good enough to be enjoyed as a bad movie. Pathetic and shameful.

I will say that this movie is probably the best one that has either Teen Ape or Bonejack in it. But before you go ahead and get your hopes up, let me tell you that every other movie they have out (under Low Budget Pictures) is horrible. The absolute worst. So with that in mind let's review this little romp in the woods. Chris Seaver has no talent, so keep that in mind. This film manages to be halfway funny because I have seen it last compared to his other films, which like I said before were horrible, unwatchable and just a bunch of friends getting together with no plot and making inside jokes to each other. The Goblin King is a recycled Filthy Mcnasty that actually works in this movie. Teen Ape is taken away from being one of 3 on screen due to other players, so that helps keep the crap level down. And Chris Seaver plays a dual role so Bonejack is kept at a minimum too. Leaving the rest of the flick to be not so bad. Not great or even good, but not so bad. A little more thought could have went into "sets", at one point the goblin king is on his thrown in which looks like someone's basement (I believe it is a barn though). C'mon guys, at least hide the buckets and crap! And at one point in the woods filming you can see a jogger in the background quite clearly without zooming in. The rest of the cast does a moderate job and the 2 elf girls provide some brief eye candy (they are cute girls). So if you MUST see something from Splatter or Low Budget Pictures, make this the ONE you see. You'll thank me. 1.5 out of 10

Easily the best looking Chris Seaver movie to date. Egg Salad still has a laugh every other second like previous productions, but without so much sexual perversity (save the awesome opening scene). The acting is decent, the production design has some thought put into it and the make-up effects are outstanding. This riff on LOTR is no-budget, which is part of its charm, as are all of Chris Seaver's movies. Finally, here is a guy who chose to DO SOMETHING instead of sitting on his couch wishing he had the money to make a picture. Every one of this man's movies is proof, if you want to be a filmmaker, then get off your butt and do it. You don't need money! Just a camera, some friends, and a sense of humor. Instant art! I will be looking forward to the next LBP release with great anticipation. And maybe one day I'll be able to see one in a theater! With teenape as my date!