Thanks for the memories!

Simply A Masterpiece

An Exercise In Nonsense

Great example of an old-fashioned, pure-at-heart escapist event movie that doesn't pretend to be anything that it's not and has boat loads of fun being its own ludicrous self.

Hm. While an enjoyable movie to poke plot holes, point out atrocious acting, primitive (at best) special effects (all of which have caused me to view this movie three times over the past six years), Severed ranks among the worst I've ever seen. I'm never sure who the protagonists are, all I know is that the killer uses a portable guillotine, as seen in the dance floor murder scene. All in all, I don't really like the movie, because only the first 30 minutes are enjoyable, the rest is a mishmash of confusing dialog and imagery that fail to progress the story to a logical conclusion (which I can't remember anyway).

I also only could stand the first 10 minutes of this movie. It is flicks like this that make Plan 9 From Outer Space look like Gone With The Wind. It appears that the budget for this was spent on fake blood and the flashlight the two cops use to look for the killer.

Possible spoilers, but trust me, it does not matter whatsoever!Okay, I could only take 10 mins of this movie…maybe less than that. I feel dizzy from trying to SEE what on earth was taking place on screen. Word of advice to the half wits who made this poor excuse for a movie, get jobs at mcdonalds! Your careers are over!! From watching 10 mins, I can tell you this much- the production values are horrible…99% of what I watched was so dark, you couldn't tell what was going on.In the first few minutes, a killer who must be invisible and make no sound whatsoever sneaks up on two people and kills them…the woman is trying to crawl away (I guess she suddenly went paralyzed below the waist?) and then she props her head on her arms like she's about to read a good book on the ground, and dials 911…Two cops sit on the side of the road- of course, all the undercover cops read the newspaper and chat on the side of dead end streets! Also..what is with their car? It's some piece of junk that looks 10 years old…I guess the police budget must have been cut off in their city! They get a call over the radio about a homicide in a parking lot (the two I mentioned before)…good timing by the police, seeing as how the killer just got em oh, say 30 seconds ago!! And, I highly doubt there was a witness in the middle of the night in some parking lot! If so, I think the killer would have went after them too! So, the bumbling cops speed off in the crapmobile of a police car without a flash bar (again, the small police budget)…and what do they do when they get to the area (which they just so happen to reach within 10 seconds of getting the call?) They ram the killer with their car! I'm sure the ACLU would have something to say about that! Then, the killer who they think is dead jumps off the ground and takes off…running with superhuman speed, seeing as how the cops who must be driving 50 mph can't even catch him…More darkness, so dark, I have no idea what happened really…plus, the camera work was so shaky, I was about to get sick…all I DO know is that both cops are killed…dummy heads covered in blood are dropped to the ground (they were decapitated.)Next, we see badly done credits with shots of blood in between each credit. After this, we go to what is supposed to be a police station (very bad set design!)…one cop comes in and tells another cop they need to nab this murderer! And..get this…one cop tells the other to sit down, you're making a scene (yes, he's making a scene in the empty office in the dark), the other cop replies with, `I can't sit down. Got no ass left. Chief just chewed it off.' LOL. This alone tells me that my next 60 mins or so will be filled with nothing but sheer boredom and dread.That's a mere ten minutes of this garbage! Take into consideration that the rest of the movie is occupied by a former female wrestler from WCW (I have no idea who she is, not being a fan of wrestling!)…just think about it. Whoever wrote this movie should be exiled!!

Bad acting, bad lighting, bad plot!! This had the quality of a porno movie. I have seen more interesting home video of a boring wedding than this movie...it sucked big time!! Don't waste your time or money on this crap! It's amazing that they allow this kind of smut to even be released on video, it should be a crime!!