I really wanted to like this movie. I feel terribly cynical trashing it, and that's why I'm giving it a middling 5. Actually, I'm giving it a 5 because there were some superb performances.

It's funny, it's tense, it features two great performances from two actors and the director expertly creates a web of odd tension where you actually don't know what is happening for the majority of the run time.

what a terribly boring film. I'm sorry but this is absolutely not deserving of best picture and will be forgotten quickly. Entertaining and engaging cinema? No. Nothing performances with flat faces and mistaking silence for subtlety.

It’s sentimental, ridiculously long and only occasionally funny

Most recent Steven Seagal films are utter rubbish. That's the general consensus of even the most ardent lovers of the ponytailed star, whose glory days at the box office are but a distant memory. These days, there are films where he doesn't even get out of his chair (TICKER), and films where even his voice is doubled as well as his body (too many to note). PISTOL WHIPPED is slightly different, though, because it's a real film with real production values. It was also made in America, in Connecticut in fact, which makes a refreshing change from the usual Eastern European hijinks we've come to expect from the once-great star.The storyline is once more a rather slim concoction written entirely around Seagal's presence, but to be fair it does have more going for it than per usual. This time around Seagal is blackmailed into becoming an assassin, and stages a series of hits on some really unpleasant characters. Meanwhile there are more murky characters lurking around in the sidelines than in a pub alleyway on a Friday night, and it's all going to end in disaster. The good news is that Dutch director Roel Reine is probably the best director Seagal's teamed up with for a while, and he manages to bring style and some originality to the proceedings. I even felt that this film had a slight '70s vibe going on, an edginess pretty much missing from the actor's canon ever since NICO: ABOVE THE LAW.Seagal himself isn't too shabby, and we can at least be thankful that he doesn't seem to be noticeably doubled for much of the action (as well as other scenes) here. The supporting cast also has more going for it than per usual. Excluding Renee Goldsberry, who's awful as the love interest (her expression while eating a fried egg put paid to hopes that she might give a decent performance), we have great turns from Arthur J. Nascarella – as a really sleazy gangster-type who's number one on Seagal's hit list; Paul Calderon as 'Blue', a strange figure always lurking around, and best of all, Lance Henriksen! Henriksen has taken his time getting around to appearing in a Seagal film (let's not forget he starred with Van Damme back in 1993's HARD TARGET) and sadly it's a bit of a wasted opportunity here, as he appears in a mere handful of scenes and rarely rises from his theatre seat, but nevertheless it's great to have him on board.The action scenes are fun and there are some classic moments (like when a guy pretending to be a cop unwisely slaps Seagal's face as he's sitting in a car, and he pulls this guy's arm in and snaps it). The assassin moments are real highlights, especially when our hero takes down 'Bruce' and his cronies while sitting at a table. Things pick up as the film goes on, throwing in a wild shoot-out-cum-car-chase seemingly inspired by HEAT and finishing off with a massive extended gun battle in a cemetery of all places! None of it is particularly profound but it is fun and it did work for me – unlike some of the star's lesser productions of late. So, not bad at all.

Matt Conner (Seagal) was a good cop, but he got kicked off the force. Now a gambler and alcoholic, he still wants to be a good dad to his daughter Becky (Jordan). When a shadowy figure known only as "The Old Man" (Henriksen) offers to clear his gambling debts in exchange for a few "favors", i.e., killing some gangsters around town, Conner agrees. Now dealing with complicated alliances between The Old Man's henchman Blue (Calderon), Drea (Goldsberry), and fellow cop and husband to his ex-wife, Lt. Steve Shacter (Wilson), Conner has only his wits, propensity for violence, and considerable girth to help him through this mess.Connecticut is a small state and not a lot of movies (at least with high visibility) are shot here. So the good news is, they shot a movie in our lovely state. The bad news is...it's Pistol Whipped! Yes, Steven Seagal comes to the Nutmeg state, and, well, left with all the Nutmeg. While, oddly enough, the CT can boast having the movies Friday the 13th, I Spit on Your Grave, and Last House on the Left shot here, thus becoming a hub for twisted "video nasties" of the 80's, how far we've fallen when we now have to play host to a sullen Seagal.While shot in the towns of Bridgeport, Stamford and Norwalk (all fairly close to New York City), for some reason Matt Conner (or perhaps Seagal making an acting choice) has a Cajun accent. On top of that, he whispers most of his lines unintelligibly. You actually need the subtitles on the DVD. And when you read what he supposedly said, you say, "he said that? I didn't hear it." How did the subtitle people know he said that? And we watched it in surround sound! Dripping water was louder than Seagal's voice. Ot whoever's voice it was. You actually need the subtitles so you don't miss lines like "Clean as a Safeway chicken!", whatever that means. But the point is, it seems Seagal was trying to channel the coolness of Michael Madsen here. But Seagal is so low-energy, he makes Madsen look like Richard Simmons.But it's funny to watch not only his daughter, but the characters of Drea, and his ex-wife fall for his mumbly, unlikable charm. On top of struggling with the gangsters, he's also struggling with his weight issues, as his flowy bowling shirts prove. But we don't want to be mean and pile on with the "Seagal is fat" narrative (any more than we already have), because there's plenty of other things we can talk about. Such as his odd hair, for example.Now, for Seagal standards, this movie is okay, but because it is an action movie from the 2000's, it must have CGI silliness, fast motion, editing tricks, and green screen stuff. All of which, needless to say, detract from the movie. We suppose it was trying to be gritty, but the overall effect is more cheap and junky. Plus, the movie is repetitive and goes around in circles. And it's repetitive. It would have been cooler if Lance Henriksen played the Matt Conner part, and Seagal played "The Old Man". It was nice of Henriksen to show up for the few days he must have been there, but the movie could have used more of him.You probably have a decent idea of what to expect with Pistol Whipped (Spoiler alert: no one gets actually pistol whipped in the movie), so if you can convince a friend or two to spend some time with a newer Seagal (and a lot of alcohol), this might just be the pick for you. Go Connecticut! For more action insanity, drop by: www.comeuppancereviews.com

Steven Seagal has one of his more unflattering roles as an overweight, alcoholic ex cop, living a bleak existence where he owes mounting gambling debts, lost a beautiful wife to divorce, and is a bad father who can't even provide his girl one day a week without failing to make the grade. Hired as a contract killer, his gambling markers will be paid if he takes out specific targets arranged by an arcane benefactor(Lance Henriksen, often communicating from the shadows) with ambiguous, esoteric motives. Known as "The Old Man", Henriksen keeps Seagal's Matt Conlin honest by employing a mysterious gunsel to look after him, Blue(Paul Caldren), shadowing his every move, there in case a challenging situation develops, while also detailing the tasks he must perform. So Matt does so, eliminating two marks, but the third, his daughter's stepfather, detective Steve Shacter(Mark Elliot Wilson), will not be easy. Steve, it seems, is not the straight-arrow, virtuous cop Matt always thought so highly of, and his elimination will prove most difficult, particularly since his position has grown within the force. We see when Steve slits the throat of Matt's priest that he'll go to any lengths to keep his reputation inculpable. Renee Goldensberry is Matt's love interest, Drea, an actual member of The Old Man's entourage, herself a hit woman if needed. Decent actioner allows Seagal to knock some guys around while firing off rounds as well. The conclusion is a showdown between Matt, Drea, and Blue against Steve and his crooked police gang in a cemetery as headstones and bodies are torn apart by bullet-fire. The movie also provides a shootout as Steve and his cronies attempt to gun down Matt in the middle of a street with Blue coming to his aid, with an ensuing in a car chase resulting in vehicular damage. The director employs unnecessary camera techniques(..and he speeds up the film for no real reason whatsoever)and shoots at odd angles, sometimes ruining gun battles as they occur. As is often the case in these kinds of movies, Matt's daughter is used as leverage by Steve in the finale, her life in danger if he doesn't put down his weapon and surrender.

Steven Seagal has arguably been on the dawn of his action-star career with such films as 'Foreighner' and the awful 'Attack Force'. Fortunately his latest action film is ten steps better than those flops. Steven Seagal's character, Mat, is divorced, gambles and owes tones of money. Then he is hired by an old man to kill off some of his enemies. It doesn't sound very good but it's the best Steven Segal film since 'Exit Wounds'. There are 4-5 small fight scenes. and one that spans to a minute and it is a brief return to the Seagal of the 90's. There is also a well-made car chase, not something very special but a good addition, and lots of shootouts. Seagal does all of his fight scenes and there is no voice dubbing. The direction is also a pleasant surprise and slow-mo is kept to a minimum. Seagal tries to act, but again nothing special, overall a decent cast. The best Seagal film in years, recommended. 7/10