A Masterpiece!

The film creates a perfect balance between action and depth of basic needs, in the midst of an infertile atmosphere.

The movie's not perfect, but it sticks the landing of its message. It was engaging - thrilling at times - and I personally thought it was a great time.

Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

"Stargrove, Lance Stargrove." John Stamos plays the son of super spy George Lazenby (you know, the guy who played James Bond in one movie) in this 80s teen oriented Son-of-Bond type of story. When his super spy dad is murdered, high school gymnast Stamos teams up with his dad's former partner, 80s sexpot Vanity, to stop evil hermaphrodite Velvet Von Ragner (Gene Simmons). Generally speaking, this film is a mess, but it's a glorious unintentionally hilarious mess. Try to imagine if Tim Curry's Dr. Frank-N-Furter from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" was suddenly a James Bond villain, which admittedly would be pretty funny, except this film couldn't seem to make up it's mind if it wanted to be an straight James Bond action film or a spoof. Simmons many "disguises" wouldn't fool anyone outside of Scooby Doo and it's completely baffling why Simmons' army of henchmen are dresses like refugees from a Max Max film. Why would the creators of this film have thought the world wanted another gymnast action hero after 1985's rousing flop "Gymkata"? I suppose this film was directed by Gil Bettman, the man behind "Knight Rider" and "BJ and the Bear," so he is someone who thought the world needed a crime solving car and road stories of a trucker and his pet monkey. Oh, you also get Robert Englund in a hammy role as one of Simmons' henchmen. I'm pretty sure both England and Simmons realized this movie was a mess, but I'm not sure anyone else did. Only worth watching as a so-bad-it's-good viewing experience.

I grew up on James Bond. More than that, at a young age, I was obsessed with Bond. One magical Christmas, the only gifts I got were the James Bond role playing game from Victory Games and all of the expansions. I saw every single one one of the movies, even the original Casino Royale and Never Say Never Again, the bootleg Sean Connery film that came out of Kevin McClory's legal battles with Eon Productions, the Fleming estate and United Artists. I've seen every Bond ripoff, from Flint to Matt Helm to Dr. Goldfoot and the Girl Bombs (it helps that Mario Bava directed that one). Post Timothy Dalton, I grew bored with the more realistic Bond and never came back. I grew up with the ridiculous world of Roger Moore.I get the feeling that plenty of other folks have had similar experiences, thanks to comics like Jimmy's Bastards and Kingsmen (also a series of movies). And this movie — Never Too Young to Die guest stars the Bond from my favorite of the series, the only appearance of George Lazenby, On Her Majesty's Secret Service as Drew Stargrove, but we can just pretend he's James Bond.Stargrove has a son, Lance. He has a theme song. And he has a mission, to stop psychopathic hermaphroditic gang leader Velvet Von Ragner (Gene Simmons, sure he's in KISS, but let's celebrate his ridiculous IMDb page, where he's either played himself or been in some amazingly insane films, like Trick or Treat and Runaway). But his luck has finally run out. He's dead and his somewhat estranged son must leave behind his gymnastic days at college to take over his role as the best secret agent in the world.Lance is played by John Stamos, mostly known for TV's Full House. This is his star turn, all fresh faced and ready to break hearts. He's joined on his mission by Vanity, who may have had a short and sweet film career, but got to be in some incredible stuff, like The Last Dragon, Action Jackson, Tanya's Island, 52 Pick-Up and Terror Train.Your ability to enjoy this film depends completely on your ability to enjoy ridiculousness. And facts like this — the nightclub outfit that costume Gene Simmons wears in the nightclub scene is the same one that Lynda Carter wore for her 1980 ENCORE! special, where she sang KISS' "I Was Made for Loving You."Read more at http://bit.ly/2jp22Nv

I just bought this and can't stop watching it. I love Gene Simmons and I'm a big fan of him and KISS. Seeing him as half man and half woman was hilarious. Probably not the right career move, but it's a good movie, even to watch now in 2006. Well Gene Simmons plays two parts, one as Carruthers and the other as Velvet Von Ragner. It will have you thinking what's going on next and maybe at the end of your seat. Well maybe not at the end of seat, but still it's Gene Simmons, so you got to love it. Hope you enjoy, I sure did-well still do.Oh and there is a sex scene with John Stamos and Vanity. Doesn't show much, but it does show some of Vanity naked. I don't think this is a good movie for kids under 17 so see b/c there is blood and such too. A lot of violence (well not a lot, about average).

OK, I'm not actually through with the movie -- I'm about halfway through, and I had to tell everyone to buy it!John Stamos' father is a secret agent, murdered by a gang of weirdos who want a disk that tells how to poison the city water supply. John inherits a farm house and discovers what his father's work was as he finds all kinds of weapons and gadgets in the farm house and is pursued by the same bad guys as his father, who also left behind a pretty partner who knows how to shoot.There are motorcycles, kisses, and, more -- and I haven't even finished the tape!