In truth, there is barely enough story here to make a film.

a film so unique, intoxicating and bizarre that it not only demands another viewing, but is also forgivable as a satirical comedy where the jokes eventually take the back seat.

At first rather annoying in its heavy emphasis on reenactments, this movie ultimately proves fascinating, simply because the complicated, highly dramatic tale it tells still almost defies belief.

This movie feels like it was made purely to piss off people who want good shows

Just like a visitor overstaying her welcome and instead insists on continuing to tell her story even if it has all been said before, high-profile film producer Mother Lily further milks the "Fil-Chinese" franchise dry with an overlong pedestrian romantic comedy in "Mano Po 5: Gua Ay Di (I Love You)" directed by Joel Lamangan, one of the most prolific filmmakers in the local scene today.Which doesn't really matter if it actually had something to say underneath the guise that it's a study on the Chinese culture. The problem is, remove the Oriental trappings and accents and what remains is a bone-dry story that has been recounted a million times. Issues regarding Chinese traditions are mostly superficial. Also, can't Richard Gutierrez and Angel Locsin play a couple smacked in the SAME socio-economic status? Huh? Just once? Here, Locsin is Charity, a young Chinese woman who has probably lived long enough in the Philippines that she looks less Chinese than, say, Thai. Forced to date different Chinese guys by her ultra-conservative mother (Lorna Tolentino), Charity finds that elusive "love-at-first-sight" in Nathan (Gutierrez), a Filipino veterinarian who faces an uphill battle in impressing his girlfriend's family, as well as competing against international pop star Timothy aka Felix (Christian Bautista) for Charity's affections.The film trudges too long and doesn't seem to know when and how to end. It takes so many twists and turns that at one point I was seriously hoping the film would take the hard way out (i.e. the non-conventional ending) just as so the film would reach the inevitable denouement and not prolong the protagonists' agony any longer. This wouldn't be the case if the story has an emotional impact but the thesis is so simplistic and tired it fails to elicit sympathy. The acting between Locsin and Gutierrez isn't so strong although the chemistry is. Tolentino doesn't have much to do except speak like a Chinese speaking like a Filipino for most of the time. Same with Boots Anson-Roa as Locsin's grandmother, only mellow.It's as simple as this: Do you like seeing Gutierrez and Locsin standing in the rain lovestruck upon seeing each other for the first time? Do you like your dialog awkwardly shifting between Tagalog and Fookien with passable accent? And do you like to see Filipino versions of Chinese martial arts epics, albeit with bad blue screen effects? If yes, then this film might just be for you. But if you're looking for a more insightful look on the Chinese culture, you won't find it here. Might as well eat at Chowking and call it a Chinese dinner.