Undescribable Perfection

Thanks for the memories!

Excellent adaptation.

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

one black mamba in a warehouse apartment versus one hot white mama. Trudie styler(aka mrs sting) plays the ultimate game of keep away from one angry venomous reptile placed there by a spurned computer game playing geek.(it's always the quiet ones you know?)most of the plot is incredulous to be generous,but i did think the one scene where she dumps flour on the floor to track the mamba's movements was pretty smart. well if nothing else if you have ever wondered what sting's wife bare bottom looks like, then you will see it in all its pale moon glory! i laughed, i cried,(not really i cheered for the snake!)and for the first time , i honestly believe that i could have mane a better movie than Italian director mario orsini. for one thing there would have been more shots of her fine hiney, and less of the geek in the car watching the game unfold with a voyeur's delight.

You know how some movies are so bad, they're good? My wife and I laughed out loud more watching this than we do watching some comedies. DVR this...watching it double speed is fine - just slow down for the ridiculous rare dialog.The film appears to be entirely an Italian production. I kept guessing that the only way this was made was that it was written, directed, and starring Trudy Styler, and produced by Sting...to keep her busy. But nope, unless Sting paid off a bunch of Italian people, it looks like someone actually read this and thought "hey, this worth making". I can only guess that substantial drug use let this little turd get green lighted. Or Sting paid them off. But that's it - the only 2 plausible explanations.

I don't know what movie the one reviewer saw, but it is clear from this that Ms. Styler is NO actress. Maybe the work she has done in other films is decent, but I have yet to see it or find the other films.This one, on the other hand is awful: weak plot, weak characters, bad cinematography, and horrible dialogue. Not worth the price of the rental no matter HOW tempting the 99 cent rack may be....."Return of the Killer Tomatoes" was money better spent than this.The gist of the story: Video game inventor takes revenge out on girlfriend who left him by trapping her in her loft/building/house with a deadly mamba.Parts of this are so ridiculous that I find it difficult to type them: this guy (Greg Henry) injects the snake with it's own hormones to make it produce more venom. This apparently will make the snake more aggressive and therefore, more willing to hunt for a victim to drain the poison into......uh.....yeah, sure......what EVER! I guess the moron writing the script couldn't be bothered to pick up the "Idiot's guide to basic knowledge of herpetology" or even turn on the t.v. to catch a couple of Steve Irwin's misadventures into the snake world to know that this cannot happen.....but I digress. When Trudie's character does realize she has a cold blooded guest in the house, her methods of protecting herself look like slap-stick - and one need not look too deep to see that the homely Mrs. Sting seems a little TOO enthused about her self (i.e. - conceited - I understand that as an actor one must pose, preen and emote to the lens, but Jeez lady, get over yourself!). Another factoid that is laughable in this disaster and poor excuse of a movie is the way she affords her rather spacious and expensive looking digs: she makes Play-Dough sculptures - that's right, boys and girls: PLAY-DOUGH SCULPTURES - for kids. And her work is anything but inspiring, let me tell ya'.Her running around the loft/house/warehouse home of hers, running from the snake as if it were a machete wielding Jason has it's hilarious moments, all unintentional by the way, but the ending is a real screamer....check this out only when you hate yourself, but not enough to commit Hari-Kari.

This is a stunningly bad film, certainly the worst and most inept I've ever had the misfortune to sit through. The acting and direction are not even professional and the script makes no sense at all. It's hard to understand how the video was accepted for mass distribution, there really is no artistic merit at all.