A waste of 90 minutes of my life

A lot of perfectly good film show their cards early, establish a unique premise and let the audience explore a topic at a leisurely pace, without much in terms of surprise. this film is not one of those films.

All of these films share one commonality, that being a kind of emotional center that humanizes a cast of monsters.

It's a good bad... and worth a popcorn matinée. While it's easy to lament what could have been...

OK, I admit I saw the MST3K version of this movie instead of the "straight" theatrical release, but as a longtime MST3K vet I know how to disengage the wisecracks from the "front row" and judge the movie on its own merits, whatever they may be. (And even in the lineup of movies covered by MST3K, LOTWH is one of the more competent efforts.) In the movie's favor: Pretty good scenery, sets and costumes - the viewer really does get a sense of vast countryside, rugged men of action, and wild horses abounding. Although the robots make fun of Albert Glasser's score, it really is one of his best efforts and does its job nicely. No one in the cast really sucks - everyone seems to know what their part requires and the actors inhabit their characters quite comfortably. Also, a nice rousing fight scene during the opening credits gets things off to a reasonably exciting start.Against? Well, the plot doesn't make a whole lot of sense, and certain events require a whole lot of suspension of disbelief. You've never seen so many coincidental meetings and dropping/finding of critical plot MacGuffins - brandings irons, bandanna, letters, envelopes - in your life. The chief bad guy's machinations wouldn't get him elected to 9th grade class president in real life and they only work here because the plot requires it.And aside from a couple of chases and shootouts, the movie just mosies along for most of its length, which would be OK if it had a John Wayne or a Gary Cooper to carry it...but what it's got is a bunch of competent actors who were born to play spear carriers.I'm not a big fan of Westerns, although I've got "Rio Bravo", "Rough Night In Jericho", "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valace" and "Silverado" in my DVD collection. But there's at least 100 Western movies I can think of that I'd watch before I'd watch "Last Of The Wild Horses" again. And I seriously doubt anyone will ever see this movie for its own sake ever again...it's simply forgettable and run of the mill. But it's not "bad" the way a truly incompetent movie is "bad".

Yes, near the end of this film all the action will shift from the plains, to the courtroom as the hero of the movie is put on trial. Kind of interesting, though not sure a trial of this type would of occurred in the old west. I figured the people would just mob the accused and hang them and feel a bit regretful when they find out the person is innocent, but still smile when they think of the fun they had afterward at the cookout. This film is about a guy who may or may not have been attempting to rob a stage coach intervene in three guys chasing a person and becomes the hero of the film. He has two girls interested so he is doing quite good for himself as he has a cute brunette and a cute blond, both from different households. The brunette is the daughter of a man who is sort of the bad guy, but not really. He just is a very poor employer who really should watch his employees better. The blond lives with a guy named Remedy who she may be the daughter of or not, their relationship is a bit more obscure compared to the brunette. Well it seems one ranch is rounding up all the wild horses and this hurts things somehow and there are lots of chases involving horses, tepid gunfights, and a couple of old fashioned fist fights where the good guy gets beat down for the most part. However, do not feel sorry for him, as he does have two cuties after him. Surprised the blond did not pull the trigger during the one scene as she was clearly falling behind at that point. It had its moments, to bad it feels the screen with one to many going no where kind of scenes. It does teach a valuable lesson, however, and that is back in the old west, one only really needed a handkerchief to prosecute someone of a crime. Guess it is kind of like DNA evidence today.

This might not have been a bad western if it could have figured out where it was going, what it was doing when it got there, and where they buried the plot under the prairie. The main character is a guy named Duke, who apparently decided that robbery wasn't paying(at least not the way he did it, anyway), and so took a job at a local ranch run by a really annoying old guy who fancies himself a learned medical man, his huge goofy sidekick who walks around in an apron a lot, and the old guy's clichéd tomboy granddaughter, who immediately takes a liking to the 'hero'. The main hinge on which the thin plot revolves is the fact that many of the local ranchers are rounding up wild horses to breed and tame, to the point where there might not be any wild ones left. The worst of the offenders is another old guy, this one in a wheelchair(probably because he let the other old guy treat him for something). His daughter also takes a shine to Duke, although I figure they were both bound to be disappointed, since Duke showed little interest in either and was probably gay.The wheelchair old guy makes a pact with the other ranchers not to round up any more wild horses for awhile, but the straight out of prison ranch foreman has other ideas. He intends to get himself deputized, along with his thugs, so he can kill and steal land with impunity. Since the only person who can stand against him is Duke, he stand a pretty good chance of succeeding. He even manages to frame Duke for murder, so that he has to flee town as a fugitive, hide out, and get shot by the wheelchair guy's daughter. As a hero, Duke is pretty ineffective.Actually, it's the medical old guy who figures out the scheme, using a conveniently dropped letter. There are several conveniently dropped bits of evidence, which is a cheap way to advance a plot. The bad guy shoots the old guy, but only manages to give him a scratch in spite of the fact that he was no more than fifty yards away and the old guy was going really, really slow because he was in the middle of a river. Okay, so he can't shoot. But he's pretty efficient about everything else, so we can forgive him that.Duke and the local sheriff(who finally grew a spine) arrest the evil foreman, and the movie peters out to its slow end. Nothing is really resolved, and the effeminate hero ignores both of the attractive and drooling women(probably in favor of the big, apron wearing sidekick). The horses were by far the best actors, which is fairly sad.

When one reviews a picture, it's important to consider the time frame in which it was produced. In years gone by, we had more simple times, hence more simple plots and so forth. This picture is of interest mainly because it is the only one ever directed by B-movie mogul and theater owner Robert L. Lippert. A few years later, Lippert's company would release "Little Big Horn"(1951) and "Tall Texan"(1953), now considered B-movie classics. This one shows how it all began for Lippert. Sure the story is routine, however it is somewhat redeemed by the fight scene at the conclusion, which was very advanced for it's time. I guess today, if a movie doesn't have a budget of ten gazillion bucks, has so many explosions it gives you shell shock, and enough sex and nudity to turn your gut, it isn't any good, eh? Don't beam me up Scotty, just send me back to the '50s!!