From my favorite movies..

The movie's neither hopeful in contrived ways, nor hopeless in different contrived ways. Somehow it manages to be wonderful

what a terribly boring film. I'm sorry but this is absolutely not deserving of best picture and will be forgotten quickly. Entertaining and engaging cinema? No. Nothing performances with flat faces and mistaking silence for subtlety.

Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

What can I say? First of all no stars for this turkey. I saw Killing Machine on one of those old '80s videocassette deals hosted by Sybil Danning. She is actually the best thing about the program, because the movie stinks big time! It is billed on the video box to star Lee Van Cleef, Richard Jaeckel, Willie Aames, and Margaux Hemingway. They are more like guest stars, because the real star is some Spanish bum that I've never seen before and never want to see again. Its supposed to be about a truck driver that is attacked by French unionists: they kill his wife, and he goes after them. It is never fully explained why the unionists are angry at the truck drivers other than the fact that they carry fruit that is evil (I guess...like I said...It is never explained). Lee Van Cleef plays a lawyer (!) that covers things up for the union. There's an interesting scene that is supposed to be in a courtroom, but it looks like the scene was shot in a cheap conference room in some warehouse. Cleef was very old here, so the idea of him being some kind of tough guy is demolished by his aged appearance. Hemingway looks astonishingly bad, and her acting reflects her awful appearance. Richard Jaeckel (mispelled?) makes the worst performance by William Shatner look good, and Willie Aames is annoying as always. Aames had passed over his teenage good looks, so there isn't even anything good to look at. I heard later that he bottomed out on drugs and converted to Christianity (no small favor for movies...stay out, Willie!) PLEASE SKIP THIS TRASH! UPDATE 08/04/05: I originally voted this the worst film I saw in 2005, but then I saw High Tension and changed my mind.

A profesional hit-man has started a new life as a track driver in Spain. In a travel to France, carrying oranges, escorted by his lovely wife, he will run into a lot of problems, because of the local mafia that is trying to control the market of fruits. He will try to stay away from trouble, but his beloved wife, by mistake, will find a horrible death, trapped inside the truck, when They will put fire in it. After this, he is simply forced to return back to his old ways, find through his old contacts all the guns and information that he needs and then kill each and everyone of the bad guys. Simple film, with ordinary plot and flat characters, for entertainment without any expectations. For those who like this kind, not so bad for rent and see in the video.

This minor Euro-actioner was released in the greedy 80's on Sybil Dannings' Adventure Video label in those great big old cereal box video cases. Although this was made quickly and cheaply, and before it becomes a standard revenge action melodrama, this is a fairly absorbing drama as Jorge Rivero seeks revenge against Lee Van Cleef after his cohorts cause a disruption during some labor wars which results in the death of his wife (the lovely Ana Orbregon). These international films are always amusing alone just for the eclectic cast members. Somehow Willie Aames (who collected more than a few cheques in Grade Z Euro-Trash after "Eight is Enough" was cancelled) is Ana's BROTHER. Plus, Rivero gets some assistance from doomed starlet Margaux Hemingway against the diabolical Julot. There is nothing special in the acting or (certainly) directing department (check out the sloppily-edited car explosion sequence), but it does get a few shots in the arm with some scenes of our main man, Lee Van Cleef. Before he goes into court over some misdealings perpetrated by his henchman (Richard Jaeckel!), in his typically dry-voiced demanour and eagle-eyed glance, he says, "You guys are getting too public. I don't like it." You know he means business.

I can't say why, but this is probably (together with the ator films) the worst film I've ever seen. Twice I've fallen asleep while watching it. It's dark and blurry and the story is pathetic. But then again, Lee van Cleef is in it, and he's fun. I don't have so much to say about it, so I stop here.