Tied for the best movie I have ever seen

Please don't spend money on this.

Did you people see the same film I saw?

Although it has its amusing moments, in eneral the plot does not convince.

Try, if you can, to imagine Disney's fantasy/sci-fi mega-budget flop John Carter as if it had been made in the '80s by The Cannon Group, producers of such cinematic clunkers as Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo, American Ninja, Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold, and Superman IV: The Quest for Peace. This might give you some idea of what Gor is like: dreadful production values, a terrible script, lousy action, unconvincing sets, cheap costumes, and a cast of has-beens and never-weres directed by the man responsible for Stephen King dud Children of the Corn.The film stars Urbano Barberini as mild-mannered physics lecturer Tarl Cabot, who is transported to the planet Gor by his magic ring, where he helps a group of brave warriors to overthrow evil despot Sarm (Oliver Reed), who has enslaved the people of nearby villages and stolen their sacred homestones. Featuring wooden performances from everyone, with the exception of Oliver Reed, who hams it up to the max (his exuberant performance no doubt aided by enough alcohol to fuel a small plane), Gor is difficult to endure, although the generous curves of sexy warrior woman Talena (Playboy playmate Rebecca Ferratti) help to ease the pain just a little.1 out of 10, with a generous extra point added for the battle of the bad '80s hair-dos, as Talena, with her massive rock-babe barnet, fights another woman sporting crimped blonde locks.

The only thing in Gor that showed any signs of energy and effort was the music score, even if the placement didn't always come off right that at least had some vigour and soul. And there is the odd moment that offers some very mild cheesy fun.Other than that Gor, for personal tastes and many others, was extremely weak. It is very cheap-looking, the photography for the cheapest-looking fantasy TV show is better-looking than the slapdash photography for Gor, the sets are drab, the effects look half-finished and the costumes is reminiscent of plastic and left-over fabric. The dialogue is incredibly inane, it offers some mild campy amusement to begin with but gets really tiresome after a while, and so unnatural its flow that it's like hearing some really bad dubbing. Gor's story lacks any kind of wonder, excitement, fun or suspense(sense also applies here). Instead it has many daft and irrelevant scenes, is so episodic in structure that it becomes painfully predictable and while it was never easy fully understanding what was happening the final third really took the biscuit, being deadly dull and incoherent. The ending is rather abrupt as well and the fight scenes are hilariously bad, primary school playground fighting is better choreographed and more realistic-looking.The characters are too cardboard and act far too obtusely to allow us to properly connect with them or be interested in them. The film shows a completely inept character at work in Fritz Kiersch and the acting from the two leads is atrocious, Rebecca Ferratti's sexiness is not enough to make up for very expressionless acting and Urbano Barberini is even worse, his cornball line delivery gets annoying fast and he spends the entire duration acting like a buffoon. Gor also has two talented actors on board, unfortunately their talents are very poorly utilised. Oliver Reed is underused and while he always excelled in villain roles this saw Reed going through the motions. Jack Palance is even more wronged, like Reed it was playing villains where he particularly excelled as an actor but that doesn't translate here, his appearance is pretty pointless actually(screen time and purpose of character) and he spent his whole screen time confused and pained.Overall, extremely weak aside from the music with two talented actors embarrassingly wasted in roles that would have suited them to the ground if treated right. 2/10 Bethany Cox

Gor is about a college professor Tarl Calbot who puts on a magical ring that transports him to the planet of Gor. This movie was made during the 1980's when movies like Star Trek and Star Wars were popular. Somehow they got both Jack Palance and Oliver Reed to star in this movie. I know Nicolas Cage over the years has starred in some bad movies. You wonder why they even agreed to star in this movie.This movie really needed a higher budget. The armor the characters were wearing looked like plastic. You had cheesy music that resembled something cross between Star Trek and Star Wars. I guess they couldn't come up with something more original. There is suppose to be a planet called Gor with all sorts of unique creatures. This movie makes you feel like you are stuck in the Shara Dessert and not on some other unique planet. Someone mentioned in the book they weren't even riding horses. I guess they didn't have enough money to actually make this a decent movie. Disney at least tried to make John Carter a good movie. They tried to make a series of books into a good movie.

Fritz Kiersch, this cinematic abortion's "director", has got to be one of the most completely untalented hacks working behind the lens. (If you've ever seen the original "Children of the Corn", you'll know what I mean.) The fight scenes here are SO incredibly lame. I've seen 2nd graders stage better mock combats in school plays. It doesn't help that the script seems to have been written by a moronic middle-schooler. No cliché goes unturned here, no mundane sword-&-sorcery trope untouched. I read the first three of John Norman's 'Gor' books when I was in high school and much more interested in the genre, and even then I didn't think that they were anything special. But at least they held my attention for the first few books in the series (probably mainly because of the sexy Boris Vallejo covers and the stories' liberal doses of bondage-themed sex). This movie has none of those elements. The only two good things about it are the vigorous, hearty (and often inappropriately utilized - good job, Fritz, you inept stooge) musical score and Rebecca Ferrati's breasts. (Wait - is that three things?)