A waste of 90 minutes of my life

A different way of telling a story

This is ultimately a movie about the very bad things that can happen when we don't address our unease, when we just try to brush it off, whether that's to fit in or to preserve our self-image.

The storyline feels a little thin and moth-eaten in parts but this sequel is plenty of fun.

The Internet acronym LMFAO = Laughing my ****ing a**e off. What I did throughout most of whatever the hell this is.On some sort of primitive Amazonian island, where the cut off inhabitants can still apparently have access to breast augmentation, tattoos, bikinis and metal weapons, a baby is found by an errant wanderer. Flash forward 18 years, and said kid has been raised in mainstream society. She can somehow beat up four blokes twice her size even while drunk, and is the victim of two tiresome montages featuring a couple of the worst songs I've ever heard.Wait, it gets better. She's invited along on an army expedition on the same isle she was discovered on (this is just a coincidence, by the way) and en route, the helicopter crashes. Problem is... We never SEE the collision, just a flash of white light. Obviously a victim of the high-end budget. As the only survivor, she is swiftly abducted by the resident female warriors, where she is almost immediately recognised (don't ask how) as their missing child from almost two decades ago, and consequently made queen.Why does she accept all this so quickly? Why is she ready to give up on her old life just like THAT? How do this band of ladies procreate with no men around? Believe me, this is NOT a film to be asking questions. By doing so, you're likely end up in a straitjacket... This truly is a movie where the concept ( a bunch of Playboy rejects bounce around in minimal clothing for just over an hour) seems to have originated long before the script.But WHAT script? This crap could have been made up on the spot. And that goes for the music too, which seems to have been put together by tone death monkeys on kazoos. The attempts at drama are so beyond parody, it's amazing the camera doesn't shake with laughter from the director at the pathetic pouting they call performing. In fact, I'm surprised ANYONE involved in the... Thing... could keep a straight face. Perhaps they were all on something, at the time of production (actually, that would explain a LOT).I end with talking about the final 'battle', an exercise in such dismal amateurishness that it had me in absolute hysterics. These bimbettes take on a small army of trained soldiers in their swimsuits, in what must be the most horribly choreographed fight scene I've watched. The weapons NEVER make contact. A small tap sends a 6ft tall bloke hurtling through the air. We don't see anyone die... And yet, there are graves galore at the end.If I handed out points for unintentional hilarity, this would comfortably be the best comedy I've seen this year. Alas, I do not. 0/10

So the good points.The cinematography is good great camera angles and well lit locations. the music/score is actually really good if a little cheesy in places but it's a lot better than most b movies.That being said the script and acting render this film almost unwatchable.the fight scenes are really clunky and awkward.There doesn't seem to be a plot or reason to anything just a series of scene changesThere's some hot girls not wearing much but don't expect to much.

Well, let's face it, you're not going to be expecting scintillating performances or a gripping plot from an exploitation movie, but ... the first third of the movie consists mostly of montages of random city scenes and Inara brooding over lousy music. The writer doesn't seem to understand how paramilitary forces work. The "battle of the sexes" framing fails completely because the evil paramilitary organization contains female soldiers. The "big twist" is telegraphed so heavily that until the "reveal" I didn't realize it was supposed to be a surprise.There would normally be a big dose of uncomfortable "primitive savages have no hope until a white person comes to lead them" racism (spoiler? kinda, though it was so predictable it almost doesn't count as one) but since the Amazons are more diverse than a Benetton ad it fails even at being offensive.The actresses are from a wrestling promotion, but at least professional wrestlers chew the scenery entertainingly; these actresses seem to be competing for best impression of a Disney animatronic -- the only competent actor is the little girl. Everyone else is on a binary toggle switch between "I'm angry because I'm shouting" and "this is boring, when can I go home?"Even putting all that aside and looking purely at the eye candy ... this doesn't even work as exploitation. There is no nudity, no T&A closeups, no sexy poses. There are plenty of skimpy swimsuits, but not any different than you'd see at the average beach. They managed to write a movie about an isolated all-female tribe without the slightest implication of homosexuality. I go into an exploitation movie expecting to feel half titillated and half outraged, and I spent this one all bored.If you have a specific thing for seeing thin, small-breasted, heavily made-up women with bare backs photographed from behind there may be something here for you.

What was the point of this movie? Why did they waste film making it? Why did I actually watch the entire thing when I should have turned it off after thirty seconds? To put it mildly, this movie lacks a plausible story, lacks any sense of meaningful dialogue, and does not have one character with any shred of passable acting ability. The characters are miscast, to say the least: Since when are midriff t-shirts and belly button rings standard Army issue? The Amazons, themselves, look like they would not last one day in "The Rainforest Cafe" let alone an Amazonian jungle. It is also comforting to know that there is no shortage of hair, make-up, or hygiene products in the Amazon. If your next plane trip crash lands in the Jungle,you may die from dehydration or disease, but you will certainly always look your best. This flick takes "bad film making" from the gutter and pulls it down into the sewer. "Inara" is a complete waste of time....an exploitation film at it's absolute lowest. I could have made a better movie about cutting my toenails using an iPhone camera that would have more drama than this trash.