Sorry, this movie sucks

Just perfect...

The first must-see film of the year.

There's no way I can possibly love it entirely but I just think its ridiculously bad, but enjoyable at the same time.

I saw this at a screening at my local Alamo Drafthouse, billed as a "so bad it's good" 80s cheesefest, and it did not disappoint. Make no mistake about it, this is a TERRIBLE movie. But it's so ridiculous it'll leave you entertained as hell as long as you know what you're getting into. It's a gem.

Shot-on-video horror has enough diffused lighting and nudity to almost qualify as porn, albeit bad porn. There's a skiing race, the winner gets the girl. Guy is killed in accident, lamely, considering this is a horror movie. Five years later, a reunion draws them to another ski resort. It's a weekend of alcohol and sex, and, eventually, killings, in retaliation for the skiing death half a decade earlier.Unique, potentially interesting setting amongst skiers at a ski resort in the middle of winter adds little to the proceedings, the film amounts to little more than boring deaths filmed through a pair of smashed orange ski goggles, simulating the distorted POV of the killer. What could have been the film's most memorable scene, the death-by-icicle, is quickly edited away from, to an ice pick chopping into ice in a wine bucket. Die Hard 2 had a similar scene, but handled it far more effectively. Instead of that, the film's most memorable scene is probably the moron flailing about like a lubed-up squid in the snow, ever so slowly trying to escape from the path of the slowest moving snowplow on earth. Its "guess the killer" ending is negated by the fact that they pin the killings on a barely mentioned, minor character in the final scenes, with a contrived link between the killer and his victims, as he was barely acquainted with the initial dead skier. The film ends in one of the dumbest, most inane freeze-frame endings I can recall. I enjoyed the winter setting, but that was about it.

I would love to write a thorough analysis of this slasher opus, but the time it has taken me to write this sentence alone, is worth more of your time then sitting through this pile of "insert censored word here".TRUST ME, having your eyes gouged out by plastic spoons is more enjoyable then watching the pathetic actors bench press spices, ski supposedly downhill on a flat terrain, and die rather bloodlessly and ridiculously. Oh yeah, a plot twist is thrown in...but you won't care, I didn't. "Iced" is not even funny on a so bad it's good level. A miserable experience.

Can't remember why I picked this one out at the video store, but pretty much regretted that move later. This movie is so bad the description on the back of the video box wasn't even right. Even the person writing about the movie couldn't sit through it.