Dreadfully Boring

This story has more twists and turns than a second-rate soap opera.

If you're interested in the topic at hand, you should just watch it and judge yourself because the reviews have gone very biased by people that didn't even watch it and just hate (or love) the creator. I liked it, it was well written, narrated, and directed and it was about a topic that interests me.

The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.

We have many terms for people who are crazy enough to claim an impossible or ridiculously improbable relationship with someone else. If the "relationship" is with a person indisputably fictional i.e. Captain Kirk or Spider-man, we simply call them delusional. If it's with a celebrity or other public figure we call them obsessed fans or stalkers when the obsession gets dangerous. When the imagined relationship is with a god or demigod, we call it religion.Anyone remember 80s mallrat-turned-one-hit-wonder Tiffany? Jeff and Kelly surely do. They're the subjects of "I Think We're Alone Now," a portrait of two torn-up-from-the-neck-up wingnuts who've picked Tiffany as the target of their obsession. Jeff is a 50 year old virgin with Asperger's, Kelly is a thirty-something transwoman whose gender dysphoria is quite obviously the least of her problems. These two are a documentary maker's dream. Let the camera roll and you've pretty much got a movie just by letting them be themselves.While intending to simply make a movie about these two incredibly deluded individuals, the filmmakers have inadvertently delivered a rarely-so-intimate treatise on religion-based delusion. By substituting the words "Jesus" or "god" in place of "Tiffany" in the pair's fantasies and soliloquies, one starts to notice that it's the exact same language used by fevered Jesus junkies when describing their "relationship" with their imaginary friend(s).The parallels between Jesus enthusiast and obsessed stalker abound in this film. The imagined relationships and rampant cognitive dissonance are the most glaring examples, but there's so much more. For example, they both pray. Jeff uses his psychotronic helmet (I'm not making this up) to mentally commune with Tiffany from his basement, Kelly has imaginary text sessions with the singer. Collections of holy iconography and texts are everywhere in their apartments. There's even the hint of a holy war brewing during the ill-conceived meeting between these self-appointed popes of two different sects of the Church of Tiffany.Jeff is an evangelist who'll proudly announce to anyone who will listen that he's Tiffany's bestest friend and quotes chapter and verse about her life and his imagined role in it at the drop of a hat. Kelly's version of the religion is of a more deeply personal nature. Kelly knows that she and Tiffany will one day have a romantic relationship and seems to be growing increasingly upset that it hasn't quite happened yet. Unfortunately, this romance will not take place in a fantasy afterlife making Kelly the far more potentially dangerous of the pair. In fact, by the end of the film Jeff has headed down the path of apostasy. While allowing that he and Tiffany will always be dear friends, he's switching his affections to another large breasted 80s celebrity.I've barely scratched the surface of this film's exploration of delusion, religion, cognitive dissonance, and just plain old everyday lunacy. It's really got to be seen to be believed. For atheists, antitheists, and other right-thinking individuals it's a not-so-gentle reminder of the dangers of socially acceptable and government-enabled insanity. For the Jesus junkies, it provides a mirror in which they can hopefully see themselves as more stable people see them and gain a better understanding of just what all the concern is about.There's one issue that the film doesn't really touch on. While Jeff and Kelly might be creepier than a French kiss from Grandma, the mere fact that Tiffany is still performing is in itself quite troubling...

I watched this doco as part of the Melbourne International Film Fest. At first the doco was a surreal chuckle fest and the characters topped anything Christopher Guest could dream up. However as the film unraveled a sense of palpable disquiet settled over the audience when reality set in and we realized we were watching two sad and even scary individuals battling with life. this was no mockumentarty. i found my self questioning my laughter and even felt guilty at times when i found mirth in their misfortunes, so as a documentary it was successful in having one question assumptions and beliefs. I do think though there was an air of exploitation about the flick esp when the two stalkers meet. i also think tiffany is 1 very brave or 2 very stupid or 3 very desperate for fans to have these characters in her life. an interview with her would have been a boon. a wonderful collection of some true oddballs that make this world colorful and a little scary.

This documentary does an honorable job of giving dignity to two Tiffany fans (read "stalkers") that society would be eager to dismiss. The filmmakers allow us to enter Jeff Turner's and Kelly McCormick's inner worlds, and see the humanity of both. Kelly McCormick in the documentary claims that a beautiful woman appeared to her in a coma, thus saving her life - - following a near fatal bike crash. She later recognized this woman to be Tiffany. Jeff, on the other hand, says that Tiffany is an interdimensional time traveler, and a mystic Sufi master, able to intervene on a supernatural level. So there is a strange convergence of the two "stalkers"' worlds, in their granting to Tiffany of supernatural and saintly gifts.I have known Jeff for 20 years, and actually made an appearance at the second of the two showings at Slamdance in Park City, where I shared my thoughts following the screening. I am one of the few individuals who is willing to talk who can confirm any of the details of Jeff's remarkable claims. There is substance to his story - - although for years I have attempted to talk him out of the fixed idea that he and Tiffany are meant to be together. (Jeff now is quite happy with Tiffany's union with Englishman Ben - - Kelly's views are not necessarily so amiable.) In the closing scene, the viewer is relieved to find out that Jeff has overcome his fixation on Tiffany - - only to discover that he has now transferred his romantic interest toward celebrity Alyssa Milano.I must admit that I am the only one who accepts Jeff's assertion that he has a connection to Alyssa and her family - - dating back to his days in New York City in the eighties when he hung out with various Italian families. But believe me, I have tried to talk Jeff out of the idea that he has a romantic possibility with Alyssa. Nonetheless, I believe his assertions that Alyssa in 1996 dropped by for a visit to his apartment during the shooting of "Glory Daze" in Santa Cruz - - Jeff's current place of residence.Jeff, in my estimation, is a celebrity in his own right. In the documentary, he displays a positive and redeeming side that sees good and light in all situations. It seems that it is Jeff that give Kelly a positive approach and attitude to her first encounter with Tiffany, during the remarkable meeting of the two "obsessed stalkers" with each other, and with the object of their desire, at the Krave Gay Nightclub in Las Vegas - - a meeting which was orchestrated by the filmmakers themselves.

I THINK WE'RE ALONE NOW chronicles two over-obsessed Tiffany fans, who's sole purpose in life (or one of the top three life goals, according to one fan) is to marry the burnt-out pop singer.I saw the film several days ago and I've already heard some criticism on the Slamdance grapevine. Several fellow filmmakers seem to think the documentary does less documenting and more exploiting of these two individuals. While I agree the film doesn't necessarily portray them in a positive light, I don't think they themselves portray themselves positively either--at least in the "normal" mainstream light.Jeff Turner, a victim of Asperger syndrome, is a likable enough guy and I'd totally hang out with him because he's a vessel of knowledge. However, most of this knowledge is dedicated to his pseudo-relationship with Tiffany. He's taken great steps and read many books in an attempt to justify his idea that Tiffany loves him as much as he "loves" her. For example, Tiffany's appearance in Playboy was apparently a silent gesture of love for Jeff.Towards the end of the documentary, we learn that he's begun a similar fascination with Alyssa Milano. He even thinks she's gone back in time in order to prevent his relationship with Tiffany! Jeff's innocuous attitude and gentle perspective on life really persuades the viewer to fall in love. He's kooky and fascinating and I really adore him and it's the opinion of this reviewer, that he's portrayed fairly and accurately.Kelly McCormick, however, is really where I believe all the controversy lies. A hermaphrodite, Kelly already has to deal with a great deal of persecution already. She (I say "she" because Kelly's ultimate desire is to fully become a woman) too believes she's destined to be with Tiffany, but for a very different reason. After a bicycle accident that left her in a coma, she claims she had a vision of a woman who looked just like Tiffany (even though she'd never seen the pop star, nor heard of her) surrounded by a white light and all the other normal comatose visions people claim to have. This vision has thrown her into a tailspin of mental anguish and depression every day she's not with her love. At one point she really breaks down and while I did not feel it was appropriate to laugh as some did, it did disturb me a great deal.A documentary, in order to stay true to its form, must be unbiased and objective about its subject(s). In this case, the documentarian, Sean Donnelly (this is his first feature film), does just that. He shows these people for who they are and they're more than happy to display themselves. Whether you like them or not, or feel sorry or pity for them, the fact of the matter remains: this documentary is a) true to its form and b) interesting.