How sad is this?

Pretty good movie overall. First half was nothing special but it got better as it went along.

Fun premise, good actors, bad writing. This film seemed to have potential at the beginning but it quickly devolves into a trite action film. Ultimately it's very boring.

Let me be very fair here, this is not the best movie in my opinion. But, this movie is fun, it has purpose and is very enjoyable to watch.

This movie really sucked. The main actress was a plastic pile of bug poop. I can't believe I rented this I smoked it's pot and I can't believe I ate the whole thing. This film was incredibly disappointing. I remember having more fun vomiting. The product placement was so bad it literally took the place in my mind as worst I've ever seen and keep in mind film maniacs I've watched haunting of the innocent. I'm dead serious. I think with conviction and with 100 percent truth instead of watching this again for free on Netflix I'd rather choose to be water boarded by my most hated enemies. Even if I was high "Which I was not" I would still give this 2 thumbs down. The cheese cake factory, skittles, apple. Directors are you kidding me with this. Do yourselves a favor and stop making movies. All of you who had anything to do with this including team members

The pothead Ashton Crawford (Andrew James Allen) and his girlfriend Gretel (Molly Quinn) are smoking in her room special marijuana called Black Forest supplied by the drug dealer Manny (Eddy Martin) and produced by an old lady named Agnes (Lara Flynn Boyle) that lives in Pasadena. Gretel's brother Hansel (Michael Welch) arrives home and Gretel tells that she will bake gingerbread cookie while Ashton will go directly to Agnes to buy more Black Forest. However Agnes is a witch and captures Ash to eat his flesh and drain his youth to maintain youth.Gretel seeks her boyfriend out and suspects of Agnes, but the police officers Ritter (Lochlyn Munro) and Hart (Yancy Butler) do not give credit to her words since Ritter knows that Ash is a pothead. Meanwhile the gang that supplies weed to Manny learns that he is selling Black Forest to his costumers and they threaten him and their leader Jorge (Joe Ordaz) sends a message to Agnes through Manny. However, the drug dealer is turned into a zombie by Agnes and Jorge and his gang pay a visit to her and are also turned into zombies. Soon Gretel and Manny's girlfriend Bianca (Bianca Saad) decide to break into Agnes' house and they learn that she is a powerful witch. Meanwhile Hansel goes to Agnes 's house to look for his sister."Hansel & Gretel Get Baked" is a horror dark comedy about a group of potheads and a group of drug dealers that have their lives entwined with a witch that sells weed. The politically incorrect theme might be funnier for teenage potheads but the plot is funny and the situations works reasonably well. I did not recognize Lara Flynn Boyle, one of the most gorgeous actresses until the turn of the century and now with a totally deformed face by plastic surgery the same way Melanie Griffith and Meg Ryan did. Now she is the witch without make-up. Time is cruel for everybody but it seems to be crueler for those that try to keep beauty and youth at any cost. I have also not recognized the beautiful Yancy Butler, but she is aging with dignity. My vote is six.Title (Brazil): "João, Maria e a Bruxa Da Floresta Negra" ("John, Mary and the Witch of the Black Forest")

I simply do not like these types of films.My friend recommended this one to me, but I really needed some strength to sit and watch it all.Acting was OK, actors gave what they had.Plot, well was there a plot? Since film was crap, I might as well use some time to talk about legalization of marijuana.I think it is a positive thing. In many countries and states of the Unites States marijuana is legal for medicinal use, and in some countries and states it is becoming legal for recreational use. Since tobacco is legal for purchase in all of those countries and it is proved to be very harmful, and marijuana is proved to have medical positive impact it is very illogical to have tobacco legal and marijuana illegal. Hence legalize marijuana and criminalize tobacco, eh?

The film is set in contemporary Southern California. The film opens with a seemingly endless montage of visuals of medical marijuana prescriptions. Eventually, we shift to a meter man reading usage at a house consuming a huge amount of wattage. He decides to investigate a bit more before calling it in. This turns out to be a mistake.Hansel and Gretel are brother and sister in an upper middle class house. Their parents are away for a while at the beginning of the film. Gretel and her friend Ashton are in her bedroom sharing a sample of weed ('Black Forest') while they listen to music. Hansel comes home and is not amused. He goes up to chat with them, and they decide to make gingerbread after Hansel describes Black Forest Cake. Ashton goes to get some more Black Forest from the little lady who lives in Pasadena (where else...). Agnes is willing to sell him the weed and to get him some munchies, as long as he does not touch her gingerbread house.Ashton does eat some of it, and is knocked out by it. He awakes to find Agnes basting him. She starts eating him while he is still alive: first an eye, then roasted lower leg. Gretel makes a lot of calls since she expects him back. Next day, she starts asking his stoner associates where he might be. She gets Agnes' address from Manny, then convinces Hansel to drive her there. Agnes manages to fend off her inquiries.The police call the power company to ask about a missing van about to be towed. The company acknowledges this, and the van is towed. Hansel and Gretel call the police, but the interview does not go well since they are unwilling to provide specifics about Manny, or Gretel's own drug use. Officer Hart takes Agnes' address anyway. Gretel is disappointed; Hansel is resigned.Agnes seems to be more of a succubus than a cannibal. Sucking Ashton's spirit out of his body seems to do more for her than eating his flesh.Carlos decides to horn in on Manny's action with the Black Forest High. Manny goes to Agnes and tells her about Carlos' demands. Agnes is unimpressed. She sends Carlos an insulting message, then kills Manny. Gretel posts signs about Ashton. Carlos, Jorge, and Octavio visit Agnes. This proved to be a bad idea for them.The power company continues investigating the power spike. Sam's son (one of the stoners who gave up Manny to Carlos) divulges the location of the new weed, and Sam reports it to her boss. He personally continues the investigation from the power usage angle.Gretel and Bianca decide to look for Ashton and Manny at Agnes' house. While Bianca talks to Agnes, Gretel breaks into the basement, and searches. She finds a piece of shirt that she recognizes. Soon she finds Octavio, or at least his voice. Agnes prevails again.Hansel heads to Agnes' house once he sees Gretel's text. The police get a missing person's report on Ashton. The power company is zeroing in.Will Agnes maintain her household against all these challenges?-----Scores------Cinematography: 7/10 Mostly excellent, but many of the interior shots were not so good.Sound: 10/10 No problems.Acting: 6/10 Molly Quinn, Lara Flynn Boyle, Reynaldo Gallegos, and Yancy Butler were all fine. Bianca Saad was rather fun. Michael Welch, Lochlyn Munro, and Eddie Martin were almost OK. Andrew James Allen and Claudia Choi were terrible.Screenplay: 6/10 This one had a few continuity errors involving time of day. Some of the plot motivators were really weak. Also, just what did the power company contribute to the whole matter? The opening seemed like the film was to be a full-on stoner film with no other considerations, which turned out to be false.