The Worst Film Ever

A film with more than the usual spoiler issues. Talking about it in any detail feels akin to handing you a gift-wrapped present and saying, "I hope you like it -- It's a thriller about a diabolical secret experiment."

This is ultimately a movie about the very bad things that can happen when we don't address our unease, when we just try to brush it off, whether that's to fit in or to preserve our self-image.

The film may be flawed, but its message is not.

First, this is an 80's movie. Not because it was made in the 80's, it could have been made in the 70's. If it was the same movie, it would be an 80's movie because of the fashion and musical styles, as well as the low-budget, junk-food film-making technique. If you are looking for some cheesy (and at times gory) fun, and that iconic 80's style, this movie is a suitable trip. It's one part frat-boy-hijinks sex comedy (like Porky's?), and one part futuristic glam-punk post-apocalyptic survival movie (like Mad Max?).The plot is a total lift from the Warriors, a bunch of horny frat boys go to a bad section of town to kidnapped a glam-punk anti-nuclear weapons protester, and end up having to run for their lives when a not-so-nice glam-punk anti-nuclear weapons protester murders a good glam-punk anti-nuclear weapons protester and blames it on them. Will the frat boys learn what it is to be a glam-punk anti-nuclear weapons protester, and discover that there is more to life than being horny and in a fraternity? Like brotherhood? I will be the minority to say that this movie ended up a delightful treat despite it's hokey Giger cover (who is a fine artist, but I don't dig him that much) Recently released on DVD by Subversive Cinema, it comes with a mini poster, has an interview with one of the actors, and an audio-commentary. The picture and sound quality are pristine, and I assume added to my appreciation of the movie. I can understand seeing this on VHS and dismissing it as worthless junk, instead of enjoyable trash! PS, yes there is some topless nudity.

I picked up Future Kill because of the Giger artwork on the box and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre alumni in hopes that it would be good crappy film (you know, like Ghoulies 3). What I got was a hybrid of genres, and something that I had already seen when I was younger. Look at the storyline: A group of teens running from a gang in the city because they have been framed for murder. It wanted to be a futuristic version of the Warriors so bad (it even starred someone who was featured in The Warriors). It's certainly no Warriors or anything to write home about, but it's not as bad as you'd think. With no budget whatsoever the filmmakers actually made a credible feature. It never once gets boring and the characters are fun to laugh at. What was up with the beginning though? It's like they were trying to make the next Porky's and then realized that the movie was titled "Future Kill." It doesn't really fit with the rest of the flick. I couldn't really decide whether the movie was sci-fi, horror, or comedy, but it does star Edwin Neal and Marilyn Burns from the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre and features Bill Johnson who played Leatherface in TCM 2. With that cast, how could it not be a horror movie? But the real question is, why is one of the alternate title Night of the Alien?

The only thing good about this movie is the artwork on the promotion poster by H. R. Geiger. Anti-nuke protesters who all looked like punk rockers of the late 1970s, and somehow became non-violent, (except for their leader, "Splatter") occupy the cities. Fraternity boys descend on the punkers to do some violence on them and turn them into victims. Bad acting and bad plot then descends on the real victim, you, the viewer. I gave this a "2" because a few sexual scenes at least give it MST3K potential.

This movie has the distinction of being the worst movie I have ever seen, and the only film I have ever given a 1 out of 10 on imdb as of yet. I was fooled into renting it because of the cool H.R. Giger cover art on the box. This cover art is the only thing the least bit good about this steaming pile of...It was about frat boys fighting "freaks" in a strange but not the least bit interesting post apocalyptic world where the cities are in ruins/chaos, but apparently the suburbs are still a safe and wonderful place for young men to haze other men into braindead frat organizations. The most uninspiring performances by boring characters, not so special effects, dreary, un-original scenery and just generally extremely poor quality in all production aspects make this lemon the all time loser on my list.FINAL RATING: 1/10 I wish I could give it a zero.Noob Aalox