Lack of good storyline.

This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

One of the worst ways to make a cult movie is to set out to make a cult movie.

One of the film's great tricks is that, for a time, you think it will go down a rabbit hole of unrealistic glorification.

Having worked as Second Unit Director on a fair few of his father's trashy T&A action films, Drew Sidaris finally gets a crack at writing and directing his own feature, Enemy Gold, which sees a trio of government agents suspended from work by a corrupt official, discovering a stolen horde of Civil War gold while on vacation, and fighting for their lives against a vengeful Colombian drug-lord and his cohorts.Sidaris Jr. starts afresh with new characters, a (mostly) new cast and a change of location, but doesn't exactly break new ground, using the 'hot women, guns and explosions' formula that has proved so successful for his old man; but despite his best efforts at emulating dear dad's style, Drew clearly hasn't been paying enough attention to the finer details...Unforgivably, it is a whole 10 minutes before he gets any of his ladies naked (Andy would never have allowed that); 20 minutes have gone by before there is a gratuitous hot-tub scene; and the film is almost over by the time we get the movie's sole soft-core sex scene. Worse still, Drew offers no radio-controlled scale model action, no comedy hit-men, and no squib-tastic bullet hits.Kudos to Drew for casting Playboy playmates Suzi Simpson and Tanquil Lisa Collins, both of whom are stunning, and also for having Julie Strain (as assassin Jewel Panther) wave a sword around by firelight, wearing nothing but a few leather straps, but pretty much everything else about this film fails to entertain, making it one of the weakest films in my Girls, Guns and G-Strings box set (so far).

A trio of suspended federal agents -- Chris Cannon (likable Bruce Penhall), his childhood pal Mark Austin (the equally engaging Mark Barriere), and spunky Becky Midnite (a winningly perky portrayal by the adorable Suzi Simpson) -- search for a hidden gold treasure while vacationing in the woods. Meanwhile, evil drug lord Santiago (a pleasingly slimy turn by Rodrogo Obregon) hires lethal assassin Jewel Panther (deliciously overplayed with snarly brio by Amazonian stunner Julie Strain) to kill the agents so he can have the gold for himself. Andy's son Christian Drew Sidaris takes over as director here and proves to be a real chip off the ol' breezy'n'cheesy B-flick block: There's abundant yummy female nudity, an amusing sense of cheeky humor, scorching soft-core sex scenes, big splashy explosions, a constant snappy pace, and competently staged action set pieces. Alan Abelew contributes a perfectly smarmy performance as slimy corrupt fed Dickson while dishy blonde Tanquil Lisa Collins adds extra spice as foxy superior Ava Noble. As a tasty added plus, the insanely leggy and sexy Ms. Strain does a wild topless dance in front of a roaring campfire just because she can and there's a regrettably brief, but still enjoyable catfight between Strain and Simpson. Mark Morris' slick cinematography gives this picture a neat glossy look (the occasional sweeping helicopter shots are especially impressive). Ron Di Iulio's cool rocking score delivers the get-down jamming goods. A fun flick.

This is the 9th out of my 12 reviews for the works of Andy Sidaris, in chronological order. For the first time, he only produced the movie, but left the director's job to his son Drew, who had regularly been director's assistant before. Renting a video cassette of „Enemy Gold" was my start into the world of „bullets, bombs and babes" many years ago and it still is a pleasure to revisit! The story is simple: Three agents discover a bunch of drug smugglers, kill a few and put the rest in jail. The big boss is not amused and sends a killer to eliminate the agents. The interesting twist is that the agents are treasure hunting on their „day off": they find a map that leads to lost gold from the civil war. The historical flashbacks make the movie a bit more interesting, because the rest is quite predictable. Fortunately, we have familiar faces with Mark Barriere and Bruce Penhall who play the good guys, plus Julie Strain as Jewel Panther (sic!), the killer. Debutante Suzi Simpson plays an agent by the equally unlikely name of Becky Midnite, and Suzi follows the footsteps of Dona Speir quite well for a first try. Remember, Dona appeared in no less than 7 of Sidaris' movies before and seemed impossible to replace! Alan Abelew deserves mentioning; he plays Dickson, a man you love to hate. If you ever worked for a boss like that, you know what I mean. „Enemy Gold" has a simple instrumental rock guitar soundtrack, a bit different from the style of most predecessors. Don't miss the documentary „Let's make a Sidaris movie" (bonus on the American DVD), because it explains how the members of the whole family worked together to make a movie - not an ordinary film team.

Its gotta rank right up there. BAAAAD baad movie, and I mean even for the late night spanking genre it did by the numbers. Even the porn scenes ached, and with Suzy Simpson and Tai Collins, Playboy's finest back in the day, they coulda done SOOOOO much more. If only the rest of it was merely BORING and not NAUSEATINGLY IDIOTIC...