Sadly Over-hyped

A great movie, one of the best of this year. There was a bit of confusion at one point in the plot, but nothing serious.

The film may be flawed, but its message is not.

It is encouraging that the film ends so strongly.Otherwise, it wouldn't have been a particularly memorable film

With an old school fantasy artwork front cover I was drawn to Dinosaur Island even though I knew from experience this was likely to be not only a T&A film but also pretty darn bad.Regarding the T&A there is plenty, yet somehow someway it is not only tasteful but mostly directly related to the plot.Regarding the quality it's a mixed bag. The movie actually looks quite good, the location and costume design is solid but when the sfx come into the equation it all falls apart. I'm not saying the sfx are bad I'm saying they're awful. The dinosaurs are stop motion animation and looked at home back in the 60's so there is no excuse for a 1994 film.Yes the film isn't supposed to be taken seriously and is essentially a comedy but those sfx are beyond bad.Thankfully the script is okay and there are genuine laughs to be had, the whole movie reminded me of Cave Girl (1985) except Cave Girl didn't reach beyond its means and had far more of a charm.For what it is Dinosaur Island isn't bad but as a whole it's not something I could ever confidently recommend to anyone.The Good: Some decent efforts at humour Tasteful well done T&A scenesThe Bad: SFX that were on point in the 60's Things I Learnt From This Movie: Trained military with automatic weapons will have no effect on a raging t-rex but a bunch of scantily clad girls with sticks will scare it off Boobs squeezing is the no.1 fighting technique for amazons The infamous beast of the cave is the offspring of a xenomorph and a muppet

The late night movie channels, home of such vast quantities (and I do mean the last two syllables of the word "quantities") of tripe, beckon. And I find Dinosaur Island, courtesy of not just Jim Wynorsky, but also Fred Olen Ray. If you recognise those names, you will know exactly the sort of film we're in for. And it ain't good.A small group of military men crash land on a tropical-ish island. This island is inhabited by a) dinosaurs (hence the title), and b) attractive young women in fur bikinis. Conveniently, the number of young women is the same as the number of military men. A plot - I can't believe I have dignified it with the word "plot" - involves fighting the dinosaurs and having sex with the women.Let me say at the outset that this film isn't entirely without merit. There are actually some witty lines in the script here and there, Antonia Dorian is gorgeous in (and out of) her fur bikini, and there is a fairly large scale dinosaur model/puppet/suit which features.Less praiseworthy, but worth remarking on, are the presence of Michelle Bauer (overexposed in more ways than several, but still decorative) and Griffin Drew (including implants), and a small quantity of extremely bad stop-frame animation used to bring certain dinosaurs to, er, life.The big trick used here, though, is forced perspective. Thus, there is no need to finance a giant egg prop - you use a normal egg near the camera and have your actors 50 yards away point in the right direction to make it look as if they are pointing at the egg near the camera. Or they run away, as if chased by a dinosaur, while a small scale dinosaur close to the camera is manipulated to look as though it is chasing them. Of course, it helps if both the close and distant items are focused the same. And it helps as if the dinosaur model doesn't look as if you just bought it from a toy shop. And it helps if your models aren't grounded in normal sized (and scaled) foliage, thus making them look like the models they are.The cheap, tatty special effects are dreadful. The film as a whole is preposterous. And yet it has a cheesy good nature which makes it oddly appealing...

*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT*It's 10:00 p.m. on Friday night and I just had a shot of jack and finished off my third beer. This party is out of control! I just watched "Dinosaur Island" followed by an episode of "Black Tie Nights" on Cinemax. This couple was on a date and then they had sex. That's the show. Genius eh?Speaking of genius, "Dinosaur Island" was a T&A spectacular. Three army guys crash land on the island of the prehistoric breast implants. They must prove themselves worthy of their big bouncy affection by slaying the really cheap dinosaur that prowls the island. The girls are confused by the new arrivals in their midst. "What is this thing you men call love?" The guys are ready to shed the cavegirl's clothes and get this party started on a Saturday night.Once again, I must give praise where it's due. Michelle Bauer is the real deal. As the women pair off with the men, Michelle chooses the fattest loser to hook up with. She gives hope to all of us dorks out here every time she rips off her bra. Thank you Michelle for getting naked for us again. There are plenty of other women who take their tops off as well. So that's good too. All of the dinosaur scenes were ridiculously cheap but I didn't mind. You don't think I actually watched this for the dinosaurs do you? Of course not. Anyway, "Dinosaur Island" is a good T&A flick. It's worth a look for B-movie lovers. One last thing, keep an eye out for Nikki Fritz who shows up at the very beginning of the movie. I thought she looked familiar but I didn't realize it was her until after the credits rolled. She is the High Priestess who has her breasts painted blue and dances around like a stripper. Apparently the dinosaur is attracted to the human sacrifice by the hypnotic gyrations of cavewoman pole dancing.

This movie has everything a good B-movie should have: nudity, humor, nudity, nice characters and more nudity. Michelle Bauer and two other beauties walk around showin their beautiful assets. Richard Gabai and Tom Shell are funny as two of several army men who crash land in this island. Rent it ot buy it!!!