Pretty Good

Absolutely the worst movie.

It's entirely possible that sending the audience out feeling lousy was intentional

The best films of this genre always show a path and provide a takeaway for being a better person.

What to do when you're a happily married man but your beloved wife is out of town on the night of your fortieth birthday, yet two sexy young girls show up at your doorstep, literally throw themselves at you and invite you for a threesome in your own sauna? You kick them right back out on the street, of course! That'll teach them to interfere with a perfectly happy family! Well, that is what you should do in order to prevent guaranteed catastrophes to happen the next morning, but admittedly very few male individuals are likely to respond like this. Neither does the handsome George Manning in "Death Game", so he's stuck up with two obtrusive chicks in his house. Their behavior gets more psychotic with each hour that passes, until they even set up a fake trial against poor tied up George. "Death Game" is not a very good movie, but that's merely because there was too little money available for the execution and because Peter S. Traynor has no clue how to direct a suspense movie. The basic premise is quite unusual for a 70's exploitation movie (usually slavering hillbillies terrorize poor young girls instead of vice versa) and the whole concept is actually very much ahead of its time! Especially nowadays, the horror genre brings forward a lot of movies revolving on brutal home-invasions. People are subjected to fear and torture in their own houses and it's a very popular and money-making concept at the moment, like for example in "Funny Games" and "The Strangers", but this crazed little movie already did something similar in the 70's! The 40 first minutes of "Death Game" provide silly entertainment (Sondra Loncke at the breakfast table) and irresistible trashy goodness (that soundtrack!!), but unfortunately the second half of the film is incomprehensibly boring and unexciting. It shouldn't be, since the girls get more deranged and all, but it suddenly feels as if the writers' inspiration had vanished and only padding remained. There are still two fantastic highlights to experience near the end, though! One involves a pussycat (did you know glass windows aren't cat-proof?) and the other is a stupendously laugh-out-loud hysterical ending. Even a threesome wouldn't have such a fantastic climax! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to search for that awesomely catchy "Good Old Daddy" theme song on YouTube!

A text prologue warns us that we should not allow evil to enter our house, but I think the more apt word is "entropy." Good grief, what slobs these two babes are!George (Seymour Cassell) is alone in his San Francisco office and his monstrously expensive home in Tiburon while his wife and child are away in San Diego. Two girls (Sondra Locke as Jackson and Colleen Camp as Donna) knock on his door, asking directions. Well, it's raining, and they're shivering like two drenched pitiful kittens, and they're not sure of the address they're looking for, and, what with one thing and another, George invites them to come in and partake of his pizza by the fire. All three of them wind up in George's bath tub and there follows about five minutes of mostly undifferentiated nudity in double exposure, triple exposure, quadruple exposure, and dodekakuple exposure. They spend the night in a threesome and the next morning the girls fix him breakfast. But something has gotten slightly cockeyed because Georgie's guests gobble everything down with their fingers and pour ketchup and syrup all over the linen and -- "You eat like ANIMALS!", George exclaims and tells them to get out. In his dreams. Now, don't get me wrong. Sondra Locke is an extraordinary looking young blond with cobalt-blue eyes and Colleen Camp bounces around like a superball. You gotta say, they breed 'em mighty cute down there in Shelbyville, Tennessee, where Locke comes from, and they breed 'em with bodacious tushes too, as we can't help but note after the first five or ten minutes.But when the girls go berserk, so does the movie. The film is thereafter bathed in a garish green light. The pair put on ghoulish makeup and make gargoyle faces at themselves in the mirrors. They brain a delivery boy and then drown him to make sure. They cuss up a storm and smash windows and furniture. They have one of those scenes in which two people sit across the table from one another, licking food and then jumping each other's bones. And Georgie? They first render Georgie unconscious with mace (which contains nothing that you can't find in that little red bottle of McIlheny's Tabasco sauce in your kitchen cabinet), tie him up, pour flour and milk all over him, subject him to a psychotic trial, put him through one of those Tolstoy-type semi-executions, slap him around, dress up in outlandish costumes, then prance out on him and his virtually destroyed upper-middle-class home, and are dispatched by a delivery van ex machina.As for the acting, it's as if someone had told Georgie, "First act polite to these girls, then act panicked after you're tied up." And to the girls: "First act shy, unwilling to impose on anyone, then act crazy." And that's it. The photography and location work are straight out of a 1970s porn movie. I'm not sure that suggests a total lack of skill. It takes effort and talent to turn San Francisco ugly. The score gives us two Leitmotivs. Georgie's is some pop tune with lyrics about "being free" and "giving in." Jackson and Donna's is a catchy rinky-tink thing called "My Good Old Dad." I approve of the moral lesson behind the story, though. There are some things you should simply not give in to, even though they might look like a lot of fun at first. All very educational.

There is a lot of talk of torture these days. That's all this movie is. It's about a good person who makes a bad decision. Because of his kindness, he becomes vulnerable to two psychotic women. From then on its a just-for-kicks assault on him. I don't know at what point you do something about it. There is a wife and child out there somewhere; he has great feelings of guilt and fear. But there should have been some times when he could have acted. The movie seems to be somebody's joke. I suppose in the wake of the Manson murders, we had a bit of a fixation on the likes of these two. Nevertheless, why would someone make a film like this? What appeals does it have except for sadism. The conclusion is totally unsatisfying, but that could have been remedied with an obvious plot twist. Oh, well. Another hour and a half of my life.

I've been trying to track down this film just by googling bad phrases about "teenagers seduce and kill man in his house" and such. I think I first saw parts of this film when I was about 10 years old when it was running on cable. It made quite an impression! It's the kind of film that kids know they shouldn't be watching, and switch the channel when their parents come in. When I saw who the cast was, I couldn't believe that some of these good actors were in such a horrible movie. Then again, if you like to see men who cheat on their wives get murdered, then this is an interesting film. Also, if I recall, there's some pretty interesting pseudo-lesbian moments. Probably the dumbest ending of all time, but still...memorable.