The Worst Film Ever

It's the kind of movie you'll want to see a second time with someone who hasn't seen it yet, to remember what it was like to watch it for the first time.

The movie really just wants to entertain people.

.Like the great film, it's made with a great deal of visible affection both in front of and behind the camera.

It's difficult to disagree with the reviews that other users have already posted for this title. This is a crime drama that plods along without being very dramatic and, although Maureen Connell is an attractive and engaging lead, the characters are all very bland and one-dimensional. The title number is reasonable enough but otherwise the musical score is very weak.Things start out with some promise - the opening scene depicts a high street robbery on a security van (the crew of which don't seem remotely security conscious) which ends with one of the crooks being caught, and then cuts to his subsequent release from prison two years later and tracking down his former associates. But this has rather little to do with the main plot which concerns the murder of a policeman who was working undercover spying on a diamond smuggling ring. Connell plays the dead policeman's devoted sister, Lynne Marsden, who is determined to avenge his death by finding out who the killer was and bringing him to justice. The police, headed by pipe-smoking Detective Inspector Willoughby (Anthony Oliver), are not only aware of Marsden's foolhardy plan, they actively encourage it, which is just one aspect of the plot that stretches credulity. It all centres around a nightclub where women sing on stage and perform strip-teases to the polite applause of elderly gentlemen. The manager, Sam Warren (Bill Nagy) is smitten with Marsden and offers her a job there, which she accepts before even bothering to check whether or not it will involve disrobing before a live audience or scrubbing out the men's toilets at the end of each evening. In fact, we don't even find out exactly what the work does consist of - a trivial detail, since this is just a clumsy plot device to integrate Marsden with the criminal ring, whose leader is Nicky Venning (Alan Tilvern, not the most convincing of evil masterminds), the owner of said nightclub.The plot then proceeds with Marsden dividing her time between Sam, Nicky and Willoughby, before the inevitable happens and her true motives are discovered. The few moments of real drama (such as the arranged murder of one of the nightclub acts, or Marsden getting captured and tied up) are merely reported as having happened rather than actually seen and the apprehension of the criminals at the climax is very straightforward and lacks any real punch or suspense. The plot itself doesn't hold up to close scrutiny - if the police already knew enough about Venning's activities to place a spy in his warehouse, then why are they subsequently so clueless about him? If Venning doesn't want to attract the attention of the police, is bumping off one of the performers affiliated to his own nightclub the best way to achieve this? Why don't any police officers come to the club to ask questions? If Venning's game is smuggling diamonds, then what was that high street robbery at the beginning of the film all about? Worst of all, Lynne Marsden's blossoming romance with Sam Warren just seems to get dropped (as does Warren's character) although the closing line of the film suggests it is still on the cards.In summation, this film is little more than a piece of escapist fluff. It ticks along without ever getting dull but it lacks drama, tension, twists and depth. Some cheap British crime thrillers from this era are absolute gems, but this isn't close to being one of them.

Lynne Marsden (Maureen Connell) turns detective to avenge the death of her brother, an undercover CID man who was murdered while investigating a diamond smuggling racket. She takes a job at a Soho nightclub owned by the crime lord Nicky Venning (Alan Tilvern). Here, she strikes up a relationship with the club manager Sam Warren (Bill Nagy). Later, she overhears Venning and his men planning a raid on a jewelers in an upstairs room and tips off Detective Inspector Willoughby (Anthony Oliver) and the would be robbers are caught in the act. Meanwhile, Venning orders the murder of Francine, a French dancer at his club, who became jealous of his interest in Lynne (ditching her in the process) and threatened to expose his criminal activities. He wines and dines Lynne, much to the envy of Sam, before telling her that he is going to Amsterdam on business. In reality, he is arranging for the next shipment of diamonds to be smuggled into the UK. She asks if she can accompany him and he refuses, but invites her to move into his lavish Chelsea pad. Lynne tips off Willoughby who is becoming increasingly concerned for her safety so he puts one of his men on her tail. It proves to be a wise move since Venning's hired killer, Hewson, discovers that Lynne is the sister of the undercover policeman they murdered. Lynne is kidnapped and held on Venning's boat at a launch in Brampton. Venning plans to skip the country taking Lynne with him and plans to kill her once they are safely out of the way. Can Willoughby's men catch him in time to save her life?Originally released as the support feature to the Marlon Brando thriller Cape Fear, this unpretentious, low budget British crime drama made by the much maligned Butcher's Film Distributors would be a regular feature on late night TV during the 1990's along with several other of that company's output. Nearly two decades later, it secured a DVD release paired with Francis Searle's crime thriller Gaolbreak.As you can see from the synopsis, it has an unremarkable plot with the added addition of a young, strong willed and resourceful working girl turning detective in order to bring a loved one's killers to book. It doesn't come off all too well because Maureen Connell, although a pleasant and likeable actress, lacks the dramatic range to convey the anger, passion and vengeful spirit within her character to be convincing. We know, for instance, that Lynne Marsden was very close to her brother since their parents died when they were young and no doubt they were very dependent on each other as a result of that. The trouble is we do not get to see them interrelate prior to his death so the emotional element is practically non existent and it is difficult for us to sympathise with her plight. Her scenes with Venning lack potency too as a result of her acting deficiencies. In fact, Lynne seems more interested in being made a fuss of by him - flowers, drinks, clothes, moving into his luxury Chelsea home and foreign holidays - rather than getting even with him. Alan Tilvern's villian is a woefully underdeveloped part too, it must be said, as he doesn't ring true as a big figure in the Capital's underworld. The sort of guy to whom all women are just two a penny to be loved and pampered until he gets fed up with them, dumps them or in some cases murders them if they threaten to expose his criminal activities. In consequence, any opportunities for suspense, tension and a sense of alarm are lost and we are lead to the conclusion that if there is danger by Lynne's side then she seems oblivious to it. Her budding romance with the club manager Sam Warren is poorly developed too.Whatever action there is, an opening heist on a security van, a jewelers, a murder and a boat finale in Brampton are either handled with the bare minimum of imagination or take place off screen. The addition of two club numbers, 'Danger By My Side' and 'A Simple Girl' (complete with bad dancing) do the productions no favours either.Yet, fans of this area of British film making will find something to enjoy since some of the London locations are pleasant to watch and, although my favourite film guide says "never will an hour feel so much like an eternity", it is actually quite snappily directed so it is never boring. It was the last film to be directed by Charles Saunders.

DANGER BY MY SIDE is an acceptable British film noir from low budget studios Butcher's Films. It's a film where the paucity of the budget is always apparent, but this doesn't stop the writer from delivering a surprisingly fast-paced little effort that centres around a gang of diamond thieves and their connection to a sleazy Soho nightclub.The film opens effectively with a well-staged robbery, then plays out a murder scene which is unexpected to say the least; a sort of spin on Janet Leigh's death in PSYCHO. From this point, the surprisingly decent Maureen Connell takes the lead as a woman who makes it her job to go undercover to catch the men responsible. Larger-than-life women pad out the cast here, always proving more memorable than their male counterparts.Although this is an entirely low rent affair with little action or incident to remember it by, it does have a good atmosphere and the Soho-set scenes are effective to say the least. It also has the old cliché of filming dancing/stripping women as a way to pad out the running time, a device beloved of American producers since the 1970s. Although there are next to no familiar faces in this one, DANGER BY THE SIDE is perfectly acceptable fare for those who like this sort of thing.

I usually love the black-and-white crime drama programmers from England in the late 50's and early 60's, but this one is thinner than most. At times it seems like the plot is merely the excuse to have half-naked girls dancing about on a tiny stage for inordinately long periods of time. Maureen Connell is actually pretty good in the lead as the sister of a murdered undercover cop. She goes undercover herself to work in the bad guy's club to try and find out about the usual 'big job'. (The club has all the half-naked girls dancing around singing songs like "DANGER BY MY SIDE".) She just about stumbles on all the clues and the bad guys stumble on the fact that she's a stoolie for the cops and the cops stumble on the bad guys at the end. The End. Passes the time, but directors like Montgomery Tully did a much better job of this kind of thing.