Good story, Not enough for a whole film

A Brilliant Conflict

A movie that not only functions as a solid scarefest but a razor-sharp satire.

I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.

Holy Macaronial Crap!!!"BONES OF CRAP"!"CROSSCRAP"!"ARR, ARR, CRAP IN ME PIRATE PANTS"!These all would have been more appropriate titles for the abominable 'movie' that is called CROSSBONES!When looking for 'first time viewings' for the annual Octobre Horror Movie Challenge here on the IMDb horror-board, I had the misfortune of stumbling upon this extremely lame and idiotic crap-fest. And I now officially have my number 1 Worst Horror movie of the New Millennium! And mind you, I never, ever have used the term 'worst horror movie...'. I always carefully used the phrase "One of the worst...".Anyway, after having seen this pirate/horror/reality-TV crap-fest, I immediately added one extra point to the first movie I saw during that month for the Challenge, namely BLOODY PIT OF HORROR (aka IL BOIA SCARLATTO). I don't care if that one's made in the 60's or that it's not comparable in any way with CrapBones. At least I had a lot of fun with BLOODY PIT OF HORROR. Hell, it's even a better movie...In fact, after having seen CrapBones I might as well go back to my reviews and add one extra point to ALL bad & crappy movies I've seen so far. Because none of them was as bad as this one... Well, maybe some... For the ones who know their more recent bad-movie-stuff: SKELETON MAN (that Casper Van Dien crap-fest) is almost Oscar material compared to CRAPBONES. Almost, I said...I will not even dedicate more time to going into full details of this movie (because really, it's not worth it), but here's another 'aka' title:CARIBBEAN CRAP!Hmmm... I wonder if I might have over-used the word "crap" just a little bit in this comment...?**UPDATE** Please forget that "worst horror movie"-statement I made about CROSSBONES. I recently saw DEMON SUMMER and DA HIP HOP WITCH. And, yes, they're even worse. That just shows you can't be sure of anything anymore these days...

Thought possibly this film would be interesting with a Pirate on the loose with a bunch of people trying out for a Reality TV show and a $100,000. bonus. Most of the actors did their very best to perform their roles to perfection especially the female actors, showing plenty of T&A or I should say Q&A about why a Pirate is coming to life and disturbing everyone he comes into contact. This is definitely not a film to view, unless you can obtain this film on a DVD for only $1.00, so I threw away a dollar. The director and producer showed plenty of film footage on the making of the Production and acted like they were creating an Academy Award for 2005!

Comparing this movie to anything else made ever is an insult to whatever you are comparing it to. If you have ever wondered what reality show people searching for fame do once their 15 minutes are over, this is it. It stars a few reality show rejects (Hardy from Big Brother, some Temptation Island girl, and some Survivor girl).One of the sub plots of this "movie" was a girl sleeping with a reality show producer to win a show. Is it possible this hits a little close to home? The only way I can figure it, is someone sucked her way up Lion Gates Films to get this distributed through them. I can not stress how bad this movie was.The film looks like it was shot with VHS camcorders from the 70s. Make up consists of clown make up and a pirate costume. Special effects (if you can call them that) consist of stabbing three feet to the right of the target and then thrashing in the water with Kool Aid.The "actors" took themselves so seriously, that you can't help but laugh. All of the camera angles focus on T&A and every scene you expect them to end in an orgy. This should have been a STV soft porn, but in the end it ended up being a big tease.The budget for this movie must have been in the 10s of dollars. Avoid at all costs.

Seriously... Worst Movie Ever Made in the History of movies.Ever been to film class? Ever had a guy make a crappy movie and it just sucked. This is worse! and it has a budget! and it was distributed by Lions Gate Films!sorry, whats wrong with me... i mean, whats not to like?zombies that last for 5 seconds - awesome breakthrough roles for African American Characters - great acting - great premise! A pirate who for no apparent reason, comes back to life and kills people on a reality show. - cartwheels! - eye gowdging = instant death! - Great makeup.. ya know what... enough of this...Worst Movie Ever Made!!!-49.3349 out of 10