Yawn. Poorly Filmed Snooze Fest.

Just perfect...

The film makes a home in your brain and the only cure is to see it again.

It's funny, it's tense, it features two great performances from two actors and the director expertly creates a web of odd tension where you actually don't know what is happening for the majority of the run time.

The movie, Caravans, was filmed in Isfahan, Iran, and near by the city out in the desert. I had the opportunity to visit the sets on several occasions. Some of the film was shot at what was then called the Shah Abbas Hotel, the best hotel in town and one which used to be a Caravanseri. It was and still is a beautiful hotel, with much blue and white tile walls and brass chaise lamps. Across from its landscaped Persian garden courtyard is an alcove where one of the scenes of the movie was filmed. It was a tight fit, with many cameras and crew packed into its small space. They did a number of takes that day. Most of the cast stayed at this hotel. Rumors claimed Anthony Quinn didn't like his mattress and threw it out his window. My Time Magazine mentioned that Jennifer O'Neill complained about the lack of dry cleaners. I found these stories amusing. I also got invited to a desert filming near Isfahan and I had a wonderful day on the set. That day, they were shooting the caravan going by as well as Jennifer O'Neill in a tent with some other women. I was able to get some photographs of some of the actors, but when I asked Anthony Quinn if I could take his picture, he asked me not to since he wasn't wearing makeup. There was a good bit of time to kill between filming, and near sunset, some of the Iranian extras started doing a spontaneous mock dance fight using sticks. I heard group singing from Jennifer O'Neill's tent. It was a magical day, one I will never forget. I didn't have the chance to see Caravans until years later. Unfortunately, the movie itself isn't nearly as exciting as watching it get filmed.

This is a rare look into the Islamic world just before the Iranian revolution, that virtually cut-off all communication with Western cultures. International intrigue, and the complexities of "cold-war" politics are just below the horizon in this all too "Ugly American" tale of the last caravan. The tribal scenes are unequaled in their energy and authenticity. The inclusion of local clans and their customs bring forth a realism unique to modern films. Unfortunately, this cannot be said of the screen play, which is shallow and reflects western values at their worst. Acting is staged at best. No attempt at character development, much less motivation.Spectacular filming of Iranian ruins. Biblical visions, for those with open minds,are stunning. We can only hope for a deeper glimpse.

I had the exceptional opportunity to be one of two Americans in-country to witness the filming of Caravans. It was filmed outside Isfahan, Iran and I was then the American Vice-Consul in Isfahan (read: second banana, of two). Our Consul, my lovable, affable boss, was David McGaffey and he and our wives enjoyed several opportunities to visit the set and to dine with the cast. The real setting of the story, I believe, was in Afghanistan. My tiny claim to fame is that my desk was the one used by Joseph Cotton, who played the American Ambassador. I had inherited the ambassadorial-size desk as a result of the closing of a consulate in Khoramshar many years earlier -- it filled my tiny office such that I had to squeeze to get by and sit at it. The crew borrowed several other props from our consulate, including, most notably, our official metal seal, which they masked over to say Embassy instead of Consulate, as best I recall.The actors were superb, as was the costuming. It is hard to imagine, for example, that only one or two actors had "real" guns and the rest of the army had cleverly-painted sticks. Alas, the direction sank the movie, to my everlasting disappointment. Caravans is a great Michener read, but the movie died and my "6" is, I think, charitable and a salute to the fine folks who graced Isfahan with their presence back then, for several fun-filled weeks.

So, OK, Citizen Kane this isn't. I re-read the original Michener book a few years ago and went looking for the movie. Only the largest video store in town had it, and you had to ask, because it was waaaay in the back stacks.They simplified and Hollywood-ized the book's plot and removed much of Michener's trademark exposition on the good things, bad things, history and cultural foibles of Afghanistan. For that matter, they scrubbed out the word "Afghanistan" and made it a generic "country in the mid-East".But it does have a lot of wonderful photography of Iran and a genuine bedouin people, who provided the extras for Anthony Quinn's "tribe". Iran had its revolution and became mostly closed to the West just a year after shooting, and it is almost heartbreaking to see all the magnificent countryside and archaeological sites that provide the backdrop, along with the knowledge that it is still so difficult, dangerous, and expensive to visit.