Blonde Heaven
Blonde Heaven
R | 28 October 1995 (USA)
Blonde Heaven Trailers

A coven of vampires operates out of a modeling/escort agency known as Blonde Heaven. Angie came from Oklahoma to find her way into the movie business, but is followed by her boyfriend Kyle. Head vamp Illyana takes a liking to Angie and convinces her to do escort work for the agency, but has other recruiting plans for her as well. While the vampires do their sleazy work around LA (and Angie gets in over her head), Kyle and a vampire hunter team up to try and stop the fiends.

Reviews
Ensofter

Overrated and overhyped

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Spoonatects

Am i the only one who thinks........Average?

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Donald Seymour

This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a very long time. You have to go and see this on the big screen.

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Dana

An old-fashioned movie made with new-fashioned finesse.

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Dr. Gore

*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT*I bought this video for two bucks. I've been looking for this one for awhile. All I knew about "Blonde Heaven" is that it had Julie Strain and Michelle Bauer working at an escort agency. That's all I needed to know. I ran into this one by accident because the title on the video box is "Morgana". The filmmakers probably realized that neither Strain nor Bauer are blonde and changing the title to "Brunette Heaven" just didn't have a good ring to it."Blonde Heaven" has Strain working as the madam for a vampire modeling agency in L.A. Right off the bat, I'm intrigued by this film. Strain gets naked numerous times and wears her mighty black jack boots. Oh mama. That's the good stuff. Strain is looking mighty fine in this one. Bauer shows up as a vampire hooker and has a long sex scene with the president of her fan club. Bauer always treats the fans right.Besides Strain and Bauer doing their thing, "Blonde Heaven" is pretty lame. The main character is your typical naive Midwestern girl who comes to Hollywood and gets seduced by Strain and friends. Hey, can you blame her? Her big lunkheaded boyfriend comes a-calling and decides to rip off his shirt in order to free her from the vampires. Strain should've offered him a job to calm him down. Hunks-R-us or something. Strain decides to strike back and many lame fight scenes follow.If you're a die hard Strain and/or Bauer fan, "Blonde Heaven" is worth a look. If those two B-queens don't do it for you, skip it.

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pumaye

An horrible skin film, void of any redeeming value, other than a few assorted beauties (most of them not even blonde), who wander through this movie without any clothes on. Story is ridicolous. There are at least two scream queens (Julie Strain and Michelle Bauer), but even the fans of the horror movies will be bored by this Blonde Heaven.Director DeCouteau should have the courage to make real porno movies, not absolutely vain exercises in simulated sex like the several ones he made for Full Moon and other companies.A pity.

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BHorrorWriter

Tons of fake boobs can't even save this movie. Yeah, they helped get through this disaster of a "vampire" movie. In my opinion a vampire movie should have a few things. One of them being scenes were we actually see the vampire biting someone. We are only given the impression that happens in this movie.I rented this on DVD, titled MORGANA (for what reason I am still clueless, no one is named Morgana). Blonde Heaven is the type of movie that...well, I don't know. I suppose some guys could you it as a masturbatory tool. Or some women could get off checking out the really buff guys. Well, anyway all that aside, this movie is just a bunch of poorly done sex scenes strung together among a few ridiculous scenes that try to be a vampire flick.What of the back story? Ilyana is searching for her lost love, Vincent. Supposedly, this stupid Hick girl from Oklahoma, with a really, really bad accent, is a face double for him. Um, okay! Well, of course lesbian action ensues.The beginning scene with the blonde in the shower...so they bid on her and the winner got to bite here? And what was with them grabbing at their heads? Was Ilyana sending some psychic wave to injure them? This is never explained.Poor acting, lots of boob, naked women, naked men, no plot, bad sound, under-developed script...I don't know what else to say. The sex scenes were so tepid, they wouldn't have aroused anyone, in my opinion. I did, however, find them to be very racy for an R rated movie. Doggie style must be the preferred method by vampires.The opening with Julie Stain boffing some guy was different. Movies normally don't start like that...well, porno's maybe.overall this was a dumb movie that just wanted to show flesh.. Which is cool, but come on.Now, don't get me wrong...as a red blooded male, I did appreciate the X-rated treatment the naked women rec'd. I'm not too big on silicon, but boobs is boobs...and boobs is nice to look at!

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bdklpn

this movie has typical b movie acting and actors,but it has some upbeat music, beautiful buff girls and guys, and convincing simulated sex scenes. if you want to watch a movie just for pure sexual gratification, this is it.

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