Tied for the best movie I have ever seen
... View MoreEach character in this movie — down to the smallest one — is an individual rather than a type, prone to spontaneous changes of mood and sometimes amusing outbursts of pettiness or ill humor.
... View MoreI think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.
... View MoreThe movie's not perfect, but it sticks the landing of its message. It was engaging - thrilling at times - and I personally thought it was a great time.
... View MoreSome Typical Scientists are up to ridiculous things in "Biohazard". Working in isolation in rural America, they're experimenting in transferring matter from other dimensions. One object that they successfully transfer is a container; said container just so happens to have a creature inside it. Naturally, the creature gets loose, and slaughters various unlucky dummies. Supposedly the creature only does this out of fear, but who knows? The hero on the case is the intrepid Mitchell Carter (William Fair), who hooks up with Lisa Martyn (sexy Angelique Pettyjohn), a psychic working on the project.This offering from the prolific B movie veteran Fred Olen Ray was two years in the making, as hard as that may be to believe. It looks like it could have been cobbled together in a matter of days. It's *that* cheap and *that* inept. Still, like so many other movies of this variety, it entertains in its own stumbling way. A lot of the elements required for such a lark are present and accounted for: laughable acting across the board (star attraction Aldo Ray, who's actually barely in the thing, is visibly drunk), a serving of bare breasts, an utterly horrid rubber creature suit (worn by the directors' son Christopher, who was just five years old at the time), wonderfully tacky gore as the monster mutilates its victims, a delicious synth score, a respectable amount of cheese, etc. That's Carroll Borland from Tod Brownings' 1935 film "Mark of the Vampire" as local woman Rula Murphy.The ending is sudden, VERY silly, and unsatisfying, and it does lead one to believe that the production just ran out of time and money. After that, we get a very protracted end credits sequence that's padded out with plentiful outtake footage - which isn't all that funny.If you adore bad movies, you might like this one, but fair warning: there's often more talk than action, and sometimes it's kind of dull. It does have one hilariously stupid moment involving an "E.T." poster.Ray and assistant director Donald G. Jackson play the medics.Five out of 10.
... View MoreAn entertaining, incredibly idiotic, and basically all-thumbs mid-80's earthbound "Alien" clone from the forever fumble-fingered Grade D dreckmonger Fred Olen Ray, who once again shows off his characteristic consummate ineptitude and flagrant disregard for anything remotely resembling professional film-making. Besides an obviously inebriated Aldo Ray delivering one of his single most horrendous performances as an irascible, constantly tongue-tied army general, Fred's then five-year-old son Christopher shambling about in a pitifully unconvincing rubber monster suit, a hilarious rockabilly ending credits theme song called "Rockabilly Rumble" performed by Johnny Legend and the Skullcaps, and plenty of Fred's patented crappy touches (dreadful acting, some bloody, but phony gore, excruciatingly labored attempts at no-brainer lowbrow humor, a little gratuitous bare female skin, a smug smartaleck attitude which suggests that Ray might be churning out these cheapie clunkers strictly for the money, and dimly lit nighttime cinematography that's guaranteed to make you blurry-eyed), the key reason to give this supremely shoddy stinker a look-see is to watch remarkably buxom erstwhile porn actress Angelique Pettyjohn show off her amazingly ample breasts in a couple of almost literally eye-popping scenes. Now, what more could you possibly ask for in an admittedly el zilcho two-cent "Alien" rip-off? Well, how about Fred in a quick cameo along with fellow partner-in-schlocky-celluloid-crime Donald G. Jackson (he who blessed us with "Hell Comes to Frogtown") as a medic. Best and funniest moment: When the irate dwarf creature shreds an "E.T." poster and stomps all over it in an angry jealous rage! A deliciously cheesy hoot and a half.
... View MoreWell, movie fans, it is not a question of whether you like or don't like this movie - it is simply a question of wether you are into trash or not. Should you be one of the happy movie goers who have cultivated the watching of trash to an art form you definitely won't be disappointed with Fred Olen Ray's masterpiece of fun trash - BIOHAZARD! The first time you see this movie you may ask yourself why someone gets money to do such a film. On the other hand, if you really can't help stopping to laugh about what is happening on screen, you probably know how well the money was spent on this project. But I must warn all you trash lovers: BIOHAZARD will make you an addict to this film genre. Since having watched BIOHAZARD for the first time several years ago I probably must have watched it ten times or even more at least! And it still gets me laughing out loud! Be sure to invite some of your friends for a DVD session of this film - you all will have a really great time! Make sure to provide enough pop corn, though!
... View MoreIf you're watching this movie, you're either a Fred Olen Ray fan, you found it on the $4.99 shelf at Suncoast and thought "what do I have to lose?", or you spun around the video store with your eyes closed and rented the first movie your finger touched.This movie is hysterically bad. It's got everything a terrible movie needs: a screenplay featuring jaw-dropping dialogue and baffling detours in the plot, wacky science involving psychics and other dimensions, continuity that seems to travel through wormholes in time and space, actors that are not only wooden, but seems to border on befuddled, gratuitous nudity (not all of it is what you necessarily would ask for), and of course, a 5' monster played by what I assume is Fred Olen Ray's kid.Underneath it all, however, there is something resembling heart -- as if Mickey & Judy decided to get together all the kids in the neighborhood and make a monster movie (hey! my dad can direct it! yeah! We can use red paint from my johnny's dad's hardware store, and I know this ex-stripper who can act in it!).Watch for the blooper reel over the credits -- you get to find out why the final cut of the movie was so crappy.Incidentally, Biohazard II...the Alien Force is also worth a look, but doesn't have the same enjoyably crappy veneer this one does.
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