Truly Dreadful Film

Expected more

Excellent, a Must See

This is a coming of age storyline that you've seen in one form or another for decades. It takes a truly unique voice to make yet another one worth watching.

If you're a seasoned movie goer but have become tired of the relentless big box office releases then this is the movie for you.You'll need to nail your feet to the floor and duct tape your eyes open for the full 90 minute duration if you're to reap the benefit offered by this pox riddled flick.I'm unable to divulge any further details, as if you've not seen this movie then you'll think I made the whole thing up. On the upside, you'll come out the other side with a new appreciation of those big box office movies.

I just got through watching this on the telly, since I often try to catch all the Asylum -projects I can out of sheer curiosity.The plot of this epic revolves around the Deep Impact / Armageddon -style asteroid that is hurling towards us and can't be blown up or thrown out of it's course. The best option they come up with is to bury nuclear weapons to the bottom of the planet and explode whole Earth out of it's course thus easily avoiding the deadly impact.I'll admit I'm no geologist or scientist of any creed, but even to the complete layman this sounds like a legit plan that can in no way backfire or cause any harm to our entire ecosystem. And the whole thing is orchestrated by a temp in NASA, who happens to be smarter than all the science minds of the nation combined.Tia Carrere plays a geologist that gets involved with the mission, and Robert Davi is a general of the army.I have always appreciated Carrere, because even at the height of her popularity, she often appeared in all things cheap and stupid. She is rather okay in this, although not as lovely as Renee O'Connor one could see in the Moby Dick interpretation of the same firm - which is probably shot in the same submarine set as most of this film.Davi's only point is to look concerned and drink a lot of coffee.This movie had a lot of good brain fart mentality. The biggest problem with Asylum these days is that their movies have become too coherent and can only be distinguished from the normal Hollywood crap by their cheapness. Asteroid vs Earth was like if Ronald Emmerich had £3 cash and was even more crazy as the reality shows - and that's a good thing.We had a nice scene, where the sub has a leak at it's backside, so they device an explosion to separate only the front part of the vehicle and continue with just that. Or how about the ending, where we go into The Lord of the Rings -territory, as one soldier has to try and smuggle few nukes up a roaring volcano whilst avoiding enemies surrounding the mountain.And in the end, world literally jumps from it's orbit in a scene that looks like it has been directly lifted from the intro sequence of 3rd Rock from the Sun. In horrible, horrible CGI, of course - as is everything in this piece.This gets an okay score in terms of Asylum films from me. I wasn't disappointed, because this time the dumb cheese translated as entertainment, not a boring snooze fest.

An asteroid is discovered to be on a collision course with Earth. This one is 200 miles wide; comparatively, the one thought to have wiped out the dinosaurs was only six miles wide. Ouch. For some nonsensical reasons, it is decided to move Earth out of the way. Earthquakes are set to "blow up the Yap Trench" and save the planet. Taking the planet Earth out of its orbit and rotation would also kill everyone, but nobody seems to care. US military officials abduct undersea deep sea geophysicist Tia Carrere (as Marissa Knox) and nuclear submarine pilot Jason Brooks (as Chase Seward) to assist in moving Earth. They were just about to have sex, but Earth comes first...Science fiction at its worst. Christopher Douglas Olen Ray unsteadily directs this woefully haphazard disaster movie. The plot makes no scientific sense; grade-school knowledge about Earth and the solar system are, apparently, forgotten by college students. While writer Adam Lipsius scores points with diverse characters, they have little chemistry and no community. Several take the assignment too seriously. This may be why less seasoned performers like Charles Byun (as Evan "Telly" Kitsias) outperform elders like Robert Davi (as Jim Masterson). The most memorable co-stars, Wade F. Wilson and Craig Blair (as Rudy and Terry), never appear on screen together.** Asteroid vs Earth (4/29/14) Christopher Ray ~ Jason Brooks, Tia Carrere, Robert Davi, Wade F. Wilson

OK, Asylum is known for pretty bad flicks. Sharknado is one of the better of the lot IMHO. This movie is pretty far fetched, the acting sucks, and a lot of canned footage used. BUT I enjoyed the interior sub footage - we're talking "super low budget"! Ever see PC monitors and 'puters, dryer vent hosing, loose wiring draped down from the ceiling or a teletype machine on a sub? And a gay XO? Give me a break... And blasting the ship in two? What a hoot! Also, I liked the mylar aluminum radiation suit (unzipped!) and the lieutenant telling gunny "I was talking to Terry." Gunny says "we know"... sadly the intern dies, making things dire. Then the Saipan volcano saves the day.