The Worst Film Ever

Admirable film.

Although I seem to have had higher expectations than I thought, the movie is super entertaining.

A clunky actioner with a handful of cool moments.

I saw this film years ago on television when I was a kid. I remembered it vividly and I've not written any review of it as I wanted to see it fresh before doing so. Now thanks to YouTube I have seen it and it is as good as I remember it.Stephen McNally stars as a roguish gambler who kills someone accusing him of cheating. That's all mayor, veterinarian, and blacksmith Willard Parker needs to throw McNally out of town. In fact an attack of Puritanism has swept the town of Spanish Boot and the saloon has closed down and the girls ordered to leave. But when McNally goes after them he finds them massacred by the Apaches.Two hundred strong under Vittorio and they've crossed the Mexican border and wreaking general mayhem in Arizona. The town bands together and takes refuge in a church which does have good walls, but also windows to high up to shoot from, but great for the Apache to scale.Though both McNally and Parker act real juvenile at the beginning both are goofy over Coleen Gray in the end they both step to the plate.Apache Drums was the last film of Val Lewton, his only western, but it has its moments of horror and suspense so associated with Lewton. It's not a film for the faint of heart, but I recommend it highly for western fans and Lewton fans.

Produced by Val Lewton, Apache Drums is directed by Hugo Fregonese and adapted for the screen by David Chandler from the book "Stand at Spanish Boot" written by Harry Brown. It stars Stephen McNally, Coleen Gray, Willard Parker and Arthur Shields. Music is by Hans J. Salter and cinematography is courtesy of Charles P. Boyle. It was shot on location at Red Rock Canyon State Park, California & it's a Technicolor production. Plot sees McNally as notorious gambler Sam Leeds, who after shooting a man in self defence, is forced to leave the town of Spanish Boot. However, outside of town Sam happens across a terrible scene that forces him back into town to warn the folk of an impending attack by the Mescalero Apaches.The name Val Lewton is synonymous with atmospheric horror, the likes of Cat People, The Body Snatcher, I Walked With a Zombie and Bedlam, have carried the brooding Lewton production stamp. For this, his last film before he sadly passed away, we find him entering the realm of the Western. An odd coupling without doubt, yet as odd as that seems, the oddest thing of all is that the film manages to rise above its budget restrictions and come out just about on top. Working with his director, Fregonese (The Raid), Lewton has produced a final movie that whilst not oozing those eerie atmospherics he's known for, does have enough about it to make it of interest to Lewton completists.Plot and narrative are simple, where on the surface it appears to be a run of the mill Western where the Indians are the bad guys, and the white man stand up to repel them. Yet to dismiss this as solely being formula fodder is unfair, for it has interesting characters, plenty of tension, a grand piece of action and a couple of genuinely haunting images. There's also some smarts in the writing, where racism and ethical principals are scrutinised. While the work involved for the final third of the film, as our group are holed up in a church awaiting Apache incursion, is of a very high standard. Here Fregonese and camera never leaves the room, as the town burns and the Apache chant and bang the drums, we along with the characters are left to our own imaginations, awaiting a savage death in semi darkness. It's a fine claustrophobic set up that's executed admirably. So why isn't the film better known and regarded, then?To get to the good stuff you have to suffer the bad, quite a bit of bad in fact. Running at only 75 minutes the film just about gets away with its drawn out periods of chatter, much of which is mundane; especially where the love triangle is concerned. And the acting ranges from the effective: McNally (Winchester '73/ Criss Cross) & Gray (Red River/Nightmare Alley) to the solid-Shields (The Quiet Man/She Wore a Yellow Ribbon), but away from those three it's pretty wooden fare. Problems also exist with the colour, with low budget comes very basic Technicolor lensing, Red Rock Canyon is reduced to being a dull observer on proceedings and the fiery flames during the finale lack colourful snap. There's also the bizarre use of the song "Men of Harlech". Zulu aficionados (and I'm one of them) know the song well, and the use here in Apache Drums is the same as in Cy Endfield's film, only here it's performed in native Welsh; with the actors dubbed! It's a poor fit all round. History tells us, tho, that the defenders of Rorke's Drift did not sing the song, so it's a distinct possibility that the film Zulu owes a debt of gratitude to Apache Drums. Thank you Lewton and Co.Good and bad every where you look in the film, but the final third swings it well above average in my book. A generous 7/10 rating to my fellow Western movie fans, 6/10 to the casual Sunday afternoon lounge lizard.

This is an enjoyable Western that moves along well enough, with three "suspenseful" sequences: Sam's unarmed ride through the desert, the townsmen's mission for water, and the church siege.Stephen McNally does fine in the lead, but another underrated actor, James Griffith, seemed miscast as the army officer - he was more suited to enigmatic or semi-sinister roles. Armando Silvestre makes an impressive and dignified Indian scout.The version I saw on British TV seemed to have been edited, because the "Variety" review mentions Sam distracting the frightened children with sleight-of-hand, and the kids singing "Oranges and Lemons"; had these scenes been included in the version I saw, I suspect I might have winced at their sentimentality but they would have added depth to Sam's character.The saloon girls evicted from Spanish Boot were the usual highly- glamourised girls that Hollywood used to depict in preference to the drabs they must have been to have worked in what looked quite a dump of a town.And there was a new take on my usual query about what happens to the bodies of felled Indians that mysteriously disappear between charges that follow closely on one another in attacks on forts and wagon trains. The defenders must have killed a dozen Indians jumping through the church windows (conveniently announcing their presence by screaming), and if the siege had gone on much longer their out-of-sight corpses would have begun to smell.Another commentator has referred to the concluding "cutesy shot of a little donkey trotting up to its mother. It's so weirdly sudden after all the long drawn out, moody, tense, heightened tension that preceded it that it completely whips the metaphorical carpet out from underneath you." In fact I saw this as a symbol of regeneration, that the town would be rebuilt and grow up, as Mayor Maddden indicated it would when the Apaches were burning the buildings.

As I watched this film I could not understand why they kept referring to Arthur Shields as Welsh. This is an actor who has specialised in Irish doctors and priests and who made no attempt to change his accent to play a Welsh preacher. And then came the song, Men of Harlech, in Welsh ! To watch everyone desperately trying to mime to the song was one of the silliest things I've seen in a very long time. Everyone has since seen how well this song can work in Zulu but to drop it into this average Western was decidedly odd. It was as if some one had a song to use and a someone else a script and the two were simply rammed together regardless of the fit.