hyped garbage

Although it has its amusing moments, in eneral the plot does not convince.

I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.

It's easily one of the freshest, sharpest and most enjoyable films of this year.

In the Biblical story from Genesis, God floods the world as Noah rescues his family and the animals in a gigantic ark. Despite the great cast 'Noah's Ark' is just embarrasing with dumb moments like Noah fighting with his son, F. Murray Abraham looking like a pirate and the costumes seem weird especially Noah's. Good talent got wasted in an awful 90's TV Mini-Series. (0/10)

I bought this as part of a boxed set of other Hallmark mini-series. I had just watched In The Beginning which wasn't too bad, it went the same length of time as Noah's Ark and included several story lines from the Old Testament, from Genesis to Exodus. Though the DVD did have a video fault for some of it which distracted. Noah's Ark was one biblical story for about the same length of time so some amount of filler seemed to be expected. The story is basically somewhat of a mess. Though I wouldn't say the acting was bad. I don't know why people associate bad movies with bad acting automatically. I was amused when Mary Steenburgen seemed to change into Kate Bush during the late boredom sequence on the ark. For reasons known only to the makers, though time length was probably a factor, the story of Sodom and Gomorrah was added. Our God of this story justifies the destruction as being a warning that went unheeded and so led to the flood. Though I gather these events in the bible occurred much after the flood. Seemingly aware of this odd take on the story, our Noah and wife talk about their mistrust of scribes and how they would probably not include them as being present during the events of Sodom and Gomorrah. The voice of God at times oddly resembles John Huston from the 1966 movie of the bible. Apparently if you are going to do the voice of God, that one seemed like the way to go. Noah gets going on the building of the ark sometime into the story. I don't know if I missed it, but I don't recall God telling him to build the ark when Noah started, just to walk around a field with a stick. Reviewers who called this an attempt at Monty Python were correct. At times it quite obviously seems to evoke Python with almost endless witty dialogue and silly mugging. The other reviewer who said it showed how God worked in mysterious ways by encouraging people to check the real story in the bible was probably correct too. Noah is shown as drinking alcohol quite a lot and this apparently was correct about him. Maybe the cults and debauched behaviour before the flood is meant to show why God means to destroy life on earth, though I didn't see what was funny about the mass killing in the town by water. It seems to go too far with other boats showing up after the flood. Here it seems to evoke Waterworld. It is with some relief that it is confirmed that all life is killed after these episodes. The high point of absurdity is when the human crew of the ark respond to boredom and start acting crazy. I'm sure Noah said something about poisonous mushrooms at some point, which might explain the writing too. It is during this that Mary Steenburgen turns into Kate Bush.I watched this as part of Easter viewing but the disregard for the biblical account is a bit too distracting. Special effects seem crude for the most part but effective enough.The possible reason this was made in Melbourne might have been because of the tank used. A late version of Moby Dick was made there also with Gregory Peck having a part. I was amused by the obviously Australian acting at times in Noah's Ark.

This is got to be the worst movie I have ever reviewed it has no Biblical authority what so ever and the acting is terrible beyond compare. I really cannot believe that supposedly being a Christian that Jon Voight would take part in something this bad and is a dishonor to GOD'S Holy Word ! They would have us believe that Noah was witness to the destruction of the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah when it was Abraham who was the one GOD told He would destroy those cities and Abraham was Lot's uncle not Noah. I wish that I could rate this movie 0 stars as it truly doesn't deserve the one star rating.I hope all who truly Love the Lord Jesus Christ and GOD Almighty will seriously think twice before purchasing or renting this movie if you Love the TRUTH of GOD'S Word you will be insulted by this piece of trash. There are so many good Christian movies out there to watch this one certainly isn't worth the waste of time it takes to watch, especially with it's total lack of Biblical accuracy ! May GOD forgive those who produced this piece of cinematic trash.

This has to be the most absurd story ever told. Not that it makes a difference that it was made into a movie but that people really watch this and believe that it really happened. Lets be honest here. Do you really think that two of ever animal marched step by step onto a boat 400 feet long that floated on a planet completely covered by water? Think about how much water it would take to cover the highest point on Earth, which is just over 29,000 feet. And assuming there is a God why flood the planet? Why not just kill off the bad evil people and spare Noah the trouble of building a boat. Some people might think that the story of Noah's Ark might make a good children's story but it is far from that. It is a story about genocide, horror and incest. I mean only Noah's family was spared so who else were they going to have sex with to repopulate the human race? And aside from that do you really suppose that Noah lived to be 500? Here is the issues with logic with the story of Noah's Ark:1. How were the animals gathered? Would have been a bit hard to find a polar bear in the desert.2. What about the special diets of the animals? How did they bring the food along? and how was it stored? What about storing fresh water?3.Getting all the animals aboard the Ark presents logistical problems which, while not impossible, are highly impractical. If only 16000 animals were aboard the Ark, one animal must have been loaded every 38 seconds, without letup.4. How do you explain the relative ages of mountains? For example, why weren't the Sierra Nevadas eroded as much as the Appalachians during the Flood?5. Are we to believe that after the Ark came to rest on Mt. Ararat that all the animals just wondered back to their present locations? 6. What happened to all the water that covered the Earth?I have made a fatal mistake here. I have used logic to explain something that makes no sense and is beyond absurd. Logic is something that people of faith do not like.John Voight must have been hurting for money to be a part of this project....