Sorry, this movie sucks

Sadly Over-hyped

It’s sentimental, ridiculously long and only occasionally funny

The biggest problem with this movie is it’s a little better than you think it might be, which somehow makes it worse. As in, it takes itself a bit too seriously, which makes most of the movie feel kind of dull.

Warner do Brasil released on DVD the following episodes: 1) "Campo de Batalha" ("Battleground"): In Dallas, the hit man Jason Renshaw (William Hurt) breaks in the headquarter of a toys company and kills Hans Morris, the manufacturer and owner of the company. He returns to his fancy apartment in San Francisco, and later he receives a package of toys with soldiers, helicopters and heavy weapon. Suddenly he is attacked by the commando, and he tries to survive."Battleground" is a very silly and naive episode, without dialogs and with the character performed by William Hurt being attacked by toys. The explosions and shootout on the fortieth floor of the elegant building do not bother any neighbor. My vote is six.2) "Crouch End": The career devoted Lonnie Freeman (Eion Bailey) and his wife Doris Freeman (Claire Forlani) are in London in honeymoon. Loonie receives a message from the important client Squales inviting the young couple to have dinner with him in his house at Crouch End. While going to the dinner party, Doris is advised by the cab driver to return from Crouch End, which would be a thin spot in another dimension. Lonnie does not accept the non-sense explanation and have a weird experience with Doris."Crouch End" seems to be a bad homage to "Twilight Zone". The mysterious story has a great atmosphere, but an absolutely disappointing conclusion. My vote is six.3) "O Último Caso de Umney" ("Umney's Last Case"): In 1938 in Los Angeles, Clyde Umney (William H. Macy) is a divorce private eye successful with women. On the weirdest day of his life, he sees his world turning upside-down when he discovers that he is a character of a series of novels made-up by the writer Sam Landry. Sam is grieving the loss of his son and wants to swap position with Clyde."Umney's Last Case" has a stylish noir production and an original story (I believe this show was produced before "Stranger than Fiction"). I liked the whole story, but the conclusion is abrupt and seems that the original intention could be to be continued. My vote is seven.Title (Brazil): "Nightmares & Dreamscapes Vol.1 – Pesadelos e Paisagens Noturnas" ("Nightmares & Dreamscapes Vol.1 – Nightmares and Nocturne Landscapes")

This fares better than much of Stephen King made-for-TV adaptations, though the episodes are hit or miss: BATTLEGROUND 8/10 - easily the best episode AND an homage to the greatest made-for-TV horror ever, "Trilogy of Terror." There's even a cameo by our friend the Zuni Doll! It goes the "no dialogue" route, and William Hurt pulls it off well. The FX are ace. Loved this one. Unfortunately, it's mostly downhill from here.CROUCH'S END 5/10 - this is pretty awful and Claire Forlani has got to be the worst working "name" actress, but there's something eerie in it's Lovecraft-ness that I appreciated for a bit.THE ROAD VIRUS HEADS NORTH 4/10 - Meh. It's good to see Tom Berenger and Marsha Mason working again. I guess.UMNEY'S LAST CASE 7/10 - It has a neat noir-ish feel, mostly created by the inimitable character acting of William H. Macy.THE END OF THE WHOLE MESS 6/10 - eh, this didn't translate too well, but it's watchable.THE FIFTH QUARTER 7/10 - This one's sort of a heist story with great performances (Sisto, Samantha Mathis) and a surprising homoerotic subplot. Good stuff here.AUTOPSY ROOM FOUR 4/10 - another King adaptation ruined by Richard Thomas! YOU KNOW THEY GOT A HELL OF A BAND 4/10 - I remember reading this as a youngster and finding it REALLY eerie. What's not to be scared of by evil dead rocknroll icons? Well, how about really lame evil dead rocknroll icon impersonators? This does not translate well to film.

The majority of Stephen King's short stories are little gems, with original ideas that don't take a long time to develop; basically lean and mean--he sets them up quickly in a scarce number of pages, you read 'em, and you're finished before you know you've begun. They're like the equivalent of a carton of McDonald's fries--they taste Really good and you know there's not much nutritional value in them (re: from a literary standpoint, they don't say much about the universal human condition), but you're still gonna scarf 'em down, just don't be a pig and go for the extra-super-sized portion and fill up on too much grease ("too much grease" is a metaphor for the prose in King's novels when find yourself reading one of them and saying come on--enough with the pop-cultural observations or clever Yankee asides--get on with the story already!) He has compiled four books of short story collections. I've read them all--from NightShift to the latest, Everything's Eventual, and they all display an efficiency of getting-to-the-point which is sometimes sorely lacking in his tome-sized novels.But his short stories never overstay their welcome...which brings us to the TV adaptations of Nightmares And Dreamscapes...How in the hell did they (the series' producers) get a green-light to turn stories that usually averaged 15 pages into 50 minute episodes? I'll tell you how--two words--"Stephen King." Stories with his name on them probably didn't come cheap, and one hour shows enable more advertising than half hour ones, so...what should have been an anthology of mostly 23 or 24 minute episodes is turned into double that length, and double the commercial time...Ka-Ching!I'm not going to waste time synopsizing the plots of these stories--this review supposes you have already read the stories and/or seen the show; what follows is merely my gut reactions to what TNT presented... Of the four installments so far, here's my ten cent assessment (from first to worst): Battleground-- Not a classic by any means, but hey, how could anyone argue with keeping William Hurt from opening his trap by filming this episode without a single line of dialog? And the tongue-in-cheek reference and destruction of the killer Zuni doll from Trilogy Of Terror proved to me the producers (and the writer of the teleplay, who is Richard Matheson's son--the writer of TOT) knew their mission with this one was to make the action deadly, yet at the same time, fun. It took longer to get to Hurt's apartment than it should have, but I think it fulfilled it's objective. 8/10Umney's Last Case-- Liked this one primarily because of William H. Macy's performance. I think the writer/Umney should have appeared in the story sooner into the private eye/Umney beginning because he was the actual reality of the story, and anyone familiar with the King short story (probably half, if not more of the audience) knew the Chandleresque set-up was due to get interrupted by the writer's reality, so let's get on with it already, and cut-out the cute and clever hard-boiled repartee' Private Dick banter already. Once the writer/Umney's family tragedy began to reveal though, I thought the show developed an emotional connection that made the viewer (me, at least), feel sympathy for the real-life Macy's attempt to escape his sorrows by usurping his fictional creation's exciting life. 6/10 The End Of The Whole Mess-- Uh, this title is how I felt about this episode when it was over. After twenty minutes, I was ready to scream at the TV--OK, we get it already, the younger brother is a Mega Mensa Genius Prodigy Extraordinaire! We know from Ron Livingston talking to the camera ("time is running out for me"--not fast enough, I thought) that the young whiz kid is going to discover something really bad for humanity--we know this because he's already built an airplane but almost died because he couldn't steer it out of the path of a tree; and, he blew up his chemistry lab while teaching himself chemistry (to think the end of the world could have been prevented if only this kid had some more parental supervision). So much time was wasted on establishing the uber-genius of Henry Thomas, when we finally get to the resolution of his discovery--the end of the world through unintended idiocy--how much do we get to see of the world "ending?"--a cheap video shot of a reporter starting to forget what she's reporting on, and brief radio broadcasts announcing the day of judgement is at hand. Oh, and the brother's parents drooling and singing old songs. My point is, if your story is really about the "end of the whole mess (world)", I wanna see the "mess" as it goes up in flames and crashes and burns. Talk about ending with a whimper, indeed. 2/10 Crouch End-- This episode just ticked me off totally. I could have lived with the taking-forever exposition of the happy couple arriving at their hotel, playing slap-and-tickle, having lunch, and getting a taxi (that was half the episode right there), if once they finally crossed-over into Crouch End the episode delivered the chills, but it failed miserabley. Not only wasn't it scary, it was practically laughable. Ooh, look--a kitty...wait, it turns...oh my god! Look at it's scary eye! Uh-huh. They could have gone a long way towards achieving chills by filming the Crouch End sequence at night instead of in daylight, too...things you might unintentionally find funny can become scarier when you see them in the shadows of the night. But I guess the budget wasn't high enough to afford shooting at night on the fake London sets they slapped together for this one. On the page, this is a very scary story about tourists wandering into places they shouldn't and the terrible things that might lurk there just around a corner. The only terror in this adaptation was the directing and acting--those were truly horrifying. 1/10 Overall Series Average (so far): 4/10

Umney's Last Case: I'm not a big fan of Stephen King: that would be my wife. But I've read enough of his shorter fiction to have a feel for his work, and I really enjoyed this segment; it worked very well. William H. Macy was perfectly cast and Jacqueline McKenzie was very good, as well. Yeah, it's a silly premise, but once you suspend disbelief, it was very well-crafted. The ending was exactly right: no real conclusion, just the realization by both principles that the tables had turned. If only they had done The Stand, or Firestarter as well as this. If I have a quibble, it would be with some of Mrs. Landry's actions, which seemed a bit weird even for a King story. Overall, this is a 9 out of 10.The End of the Whole Mess: As for the second story of the second evening, this was not as engaging, but it still worked fairly well. I liked the idea of doing it as a documentary, but this also meant that some time that could have been used in developing the ideas in it was wasted on showing Ron Livingston's character, Howie, telling the story. I'm sure that this is how King wrote it (I've not read the story), but I think they could have just set it up and run with it, cutting back to seeing Howie talking maybe half as much as they did. But this is a small complaint. The story isn't as creative as the first one of the evening, but it worked well, as far as it went. There are some internal inconsistencies as well, which made it harder to like it. Perhaps the fact that it was grimmer than the first one made it easier to be critical of it. I'll give this a 7 out of 10.