Simply A Masterpiece

hyped garbage

Don't listen to the negative reviews

Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.

To begin with, I like this show, I own all three seasons on DVD. It is a fantasy show, utterly lacking any need for higher level thinking. This is not "Farscape" or "Star Trek" which might require the viewer to actively think about what is going on, or even "Xena" and "Hercules" which actually stuck to one major plot line. But it is good aimless fun. And Monikka Schnarre would look good reading a phone book.What surprised me however was the lack of any sense of time. The show started the first season in the stone age. Bones, wood and stone consisted of the materials available to create tools and weapons. Okay, I'll buy it. Darr's Halbred could have been created of two leg bones of an extremely large animal, the metatarsals or metacarpals of an elephant would suffice (or is it the phalanges?). Season two rolls around and we've got bronze. Initially only the Nords had it, until the middle of the season. After the half-way mark, everyone was learning to extract bronze, independently of each other. Tao was developing ways to fly. The crossbow was invented. I still wasn't thrown, the liberties hadn't truly been taken yet. That's when season three rolled around. The first two seasons were thrown out the window. Everyone had iron weapons. Darr's sword appeared to be a Katana made of steel. STEEL!!! Zad had Knights running around. We went through roughly 7000-8000 years of evolution in a short three year span. None of the actors even aged discernably. The animals even took a back seat to him finding his family.It seems to me the people pulling the strings decided to take the show different ways from episode to episode. The Sorceress would show up in black leather trying to be evil in one week, and then be wearing clothes straight from the runway the next. Not that I'm complaining. She can wear leather, dresses, skirts, bikinis or even nothing and I still would watch.Oh well, I still watched and bought the show. They succeeded in what they wanted to accomplish. Just don't watch the show with a critical view and you'll do fine.

Oh what fun this show was! First you have the incredibly *gorgeous* Daniel Goddard as Dar, the BeastMaster. The producers had the good sense to keep him wearing as little as possible. Even in the third season, when he dressed a little more "modestly", you could still see those stupendous biceps. Yummy! Then you have the gay subtext. This is most pronounced in Season Two, where the five most important male characters all seem to be gay archetypes: Dar (Gym-Boy), Tao (Nerd with a crush on Gym-Boy), Zad (Leather Daddy), Voden (Party Boy) and The Ancient One (All-Powerful, All-Knowing Old Auntie). Then you have the fact that it was actually fairly well-written and acted. Admittedly, Season Three was the weakest. The show would have been better had they not gone down that particular road, but, overall it was a lot of fun and most certainly not the worst way to spend an hour. Oh did I mention how gorgeous Daniel Goddard is? (*sigh*)

This series warmed my heart and I was sad to see it go. I did feel that they left too many questions unanswered. Maybe they will make a movie or series of TV movies to answer those questions. More sorceress and the wizard would be great. I didn't believe the wizard died. It was unconvincing. The evil ruler was excellent. All in all I give it B plus.

THE BEASTMASTER (the original 1982 film) was and still remains a childhood favorite of mine. When I heard of a series, I was naturally excited. Then I saw the premiere, and had to laugh. Though supposedly produced by one of the guys involved with the film, the show itself isn't much like the film at all, with the only similarity being a guy named Dar who can communicate with animals. Even the backstory of Dar was changed. Also, thanks to the type of fantasy shows produced in the wake of the HERCULES and XENIA series, THE BEASTMASTER became just another typical, corny, lame, lackluster series that could never be found because of its ever-changing schedule, which is just as well. Dar, a muscular tough guy in the films, becomes a slim beach-blonde surfer dude from Malibu (no disrespect to the actor, since it was the producers who made the character like this) who encounters everything from jungle woman to creatures who looks like (and, knowing this type of show, probably are) from space or another dimension. The dark, brooding aspect of the film is instead replaced with a "hip" sensibility meant to attract a young audience, which has probably never even heard of the film. I can't believe the show is still on, though I really couldn't care any less. It's a terrible show, but at least it can never take away my fondness for the original (and much superior) film.