Surprisingly incoherent and boring

Self-important, over-dramatic, uninspired.

Yo, there's no way for me to review this film without saying, take your *insert ethnicity + "ass" here* to see this film,like now. You have to see it in order to know what you're really messing with.

It's a good bad... and worth a popcorn matinée. While it's easy to lament what could have been...