Truly Dreadful Film

Clever, believable, and super fun to watch. It totally has replay value.

At first rather annoying in its heavy emphasis on reenactments, this movie ultimately proves fascinating, simply because the complicated, highly dramatic tale it tells still almost defies belief.

It really made me laugh, but for some moments I was tearing up because I could relate so much.

Nobody is happy enough to sing a song about Monday mornings. And there is no way Mary Kate and Ashley "waited" on anything in their love life, if you follow my drift. My favorite part was when it ended, and we got to see all the bloopers, and it really wasn't that much different from the rest of the movie. Did anybody notice the token black kid who had no lines? Mary Kate and Ashley are racists. Oh and by the way, This was borderline kiddie porn, because it showed underage girls in a bathroom. Gross. And metal mouth (the "villain") kept forgetting her lines, not that you could pay attention to what she was saying when you were blinded by the glare coming off her JAWS like teeth. This movie would have been better with drugs.

What the heck this thing!? Horrible doesn't describe it!!!!!! It's weird and stupid and dumb! This thing stars Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen as Mary Kate and Ashley (Ooooh....Creative!). Along with them, there's a bunch of annoying freaks who play their friends (The only remotely recognizable one is Lauren Maltby, the girl from Zenon: Girl of the 21'st century who was mean). They "sing"(sounds like a flaming cat in a trash compactor) and "dance" (looks like seizures induced by excessive constipation). Also, there's a bunch of guys who play their love interests, Including Chez Starbuck (Lord knows how he got a part in this crap, even this thing too good for his out-of-breath pig face acting!). This thing basically revolves around a crappy dance that Mary Kate and Ashley are worried about.Here's how it goes: We start of the film with Mary Kate and Ashley heading to school. Then they sing as song about how the only reason you should go to school is to see your friends (Or cult followers in their case). Shortly after they are joined by their "friends" (More like followers of the MK-A cult!) and go to class. Then, 5 minutes later, Mary Kate and Ashley are in the hall with their dumb boyfriends and this loser slut stalker girl who worships Ashley (BYE BYE BYE!!!!!). They talk about lunch and about the "hottest dance of the school, like duh!" entitled Cyberdance.com or Springfling.com or something!. To top it off, Ashley is the main nominee for Queen. Then the bell rings and they go home (school lasts A WHOLE 10 MINUTES in Mary-Kate and Ashley world!) Then they go to lunch with their friends. Mary-Kate is freaking out about how Rick or Steve or something isn't going to ask her to the dance....so then they sing a song about how you should wait by the phone so boys can call you to tell you you're pretty and invite you to low budget social events. Then Mary Kate calls him and asks him to the dance...and despite the fact that Mary-Kate's hair bares resemblance to one of the shrubs you can find outside of a doctors office, he says yes. Meanwhile, the loser slut Ashley worshiper asks Ashley's boyfriend to the dance, and he says no, so she plots revenge (teeheehee!).Now it's the day of the dance, and despite the fact that Mary-Kate, Ashley, and the MK-A cult did not know about the dance until the Monday before it, they've suddenly become the decorating committee(?). They decorate and smile like their lives depended on it, only to start to sing a song about "meaning business" and running around barefoot. Then the loser slut stalker tries to intimidate Ashley. Then Ashley's boyfriend shows her the "King and Queen voting booth and explains what its for (I'm pretty sure she already knew, genius).Now it's time for the dance. The scene opens with a bunch of crappy dancing and forced smiles from a group of children with no lives. Mary Kate and her wubbo-boyfriend waltz in and discuss the fact that he can't dance (Yeah Mary-Kate, you and you're friends are one's to talk!). Then the music is cut and this weird guy who looks like a child offender starts talking. Then For some reason, Mary Kate and Ashley, along with the MK-A cult, get all the credit for planning the dance. HELLO!!! HOW THE HELL DID THEY PLAN IT IF THEY DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT IT UNTIL A FEW DAYS BEFORE!!!!!....Coconut flavored snowballs? WTF is that?! Now it's time for the main event....The crowning of King and Queen (I can feel your excitement as you read this!)....Ashley's ugly boyfriend wins king, but (GASP!!!): TRAGEDY STIKES! ASHLEY DOESN'T WIN QUEEN!....now nothing can go on! (but there's more!) Now Ashley is upset and sad ."Everyone knows that you're the most popular girl in school!". And the Loser slut worshiper is glad that Ashley didn't win. Ashley and the rest of the MK-A cult go to the bathroom and "freshen up" (are you old ladies or something?). Then they start complaining and sing this weird nauseating song about how guys are scum and can't save you from burning buildings. In this same song, while they are climbing down the stairs, Lauren Maltby does this weird boob flaunting "dance move" that made me embarrassed for her!. This song is by far the dumbest out of all of the songs in this thing.Then they leave the bathroom and go back to the dance. Mary-Kate's moronic boyfriend steals a flower from the school's garden. Then they dance and everything is right in her hemisphere of Mary-Kate and Ashley world. Then Ashley goes on to her ugly boyfriend about "but you wanted to date the most popular girl in school". Then he says some random cheesy crap that doesn't really make sense and all is forgiven. They are about to kiss (they're like 12!), and then some random swing music plays and everyone gets out of the way as Mary-Kate and Ashley "swing dance" and everyone claps for them.Mary-Kate and Ashley-EWWWWWWWWWMK-A cult follower 1 (black hair)-This girl looks like a sorceress wearing glitter. Her forehead is so big and shiny! MK-A cult follower 2 (Lauren Maltby)-This girl seemed WAY to into her character. Ashley's Boyfreind-Ewwww, obviously his acting career was going nowhere. First he played a mermaid in a low budget TV movie, and moved on to this....that's sad Mary-Kate's boyfriend-IDK if he was supposed to be a bad boy or something but If I were to see him or his character on the street, I would beat the crap out of him!Mean girl- I don't really think she was supposed to be the villain, after she tried stealing Ashley's boyfriend, she kind of just faded away. And she kept stuttering and messing up lines...more proof that this was low budgetDO NOT WATCH IT!

I agree that these sisters need to take a break from acting. Or perhaps not a break but rather a turn from their normal roles. For instance, why must they ALWAYS appear in the same movies? That gets boring after awhile. They should branch out and try doing other stuff. Maybe they should wait until they are done with school and college before making another video/ movie.For the record I feel I should admit that I have only seen these girls in Full House. I am a 22 year old college student. However, simply by seeing all the stuff that they have accomplished over the years: WOW!!! Take a break!!! Have fun, and live a little.Also they are eighteen now...so quit it with the kiddy stuff. Go for a more mature (I'm NOT saying R rated nudity stuff) but at least PG13 for once.

Ok, so they were cute when they were 7 doing little videos but now it's just dorky. Do they actually go to a public high school? I doubt it, because if they did, they would be laughed out of the place. Hell, they are freshman not kindergarteners. It's time to start acting as such...or at least don't display it to the world.There are so many things they could do instead of kiddie vids. Teen talk show for instance? Or movies. Or guest appearances. Or get separate gigs. Hello, do they have to be a package deal ALL their lives? That's a career killer right there. How many teen twin roles can there be? Adult twin roles? Didn't think so. And they certainly can't get all of them. Don't get me wrong...I like them, but this is ridiculous. Grow up, girls! Full House is over.