Clever and entertaining enough to recommend even to members of the 1%

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

The story, direction, characters, and writing/dialogue is akin to taking a tranquilizer shot to the neck, but everything else was so well done.

It's a good bad... and worth a popcorn matinée. While it's easy to lament what could have been...

Live from Los Angeles, CAAttendance 16,158Your commentators are Gorilla Monsoon & Bobby "The Brain" Heenan The Rockers Vs Haku & The BarbarianThe Rockers win. Great way to start the show. The Rockers can carry anybody to a good match...but The Barbarian and Haku held up their end of the bargain for sure. Fun opener with a red hot crowd*** out of 5Regis Philbin, Marla Maples, and Alex Trebek are guests at WrestlemaniaThe Texas Tornado Vs Dino BravoKerry Von Erich wins with a Discus Punch. This match was horrible. Bravo could barely move at this juncture because he was so roided up.3/4* out of 5The Warlord Vs "The British Bulldog" Davey Boy SmithDavey wins with a running powerslam. Surprisingly, this didn't suck. Crowd was red hot and Davey was a great worker.** out of 5Tag Team TitlesThe Hart Foundation (C) Vs The Nasty BoysThe crows is nuts for The Hart Foundation. The Nasty Boys win the titles due to cheating. Pretty decent match overall. It's admittedly not a favorite of mine, but it is decent for sure.**1/2 out of 5Blindfold MatchJake "The Snake" Roberts Vs Rick "The Model" MartelJake wins. The match is technically terrible...but it was made somewhat fun by the crowd interaction and the dedication from the performers. It managed to make it fun.N/RThe Undertaker Vs Jimmy "Superfly" SnukaThe Undertaker wins with a Tombstone. 1-0. Undertaker's first ever Wrestlemania would turn out to be a streak nobody would ever forget. Snuka was a well-enough established name to make it relevant.*1/2 out of 5Retirement Match"Macho King" Randy Savage Vs The Ultimate WarriorThe Warrior wins. Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth reunite afterwards. One of the best examples of storytelling you'll ever see. It triumphs everything. It has the perfect combination of everything. This is what wrestling is missing these days. I wouldn't call it a technical classic...but the way they told the story is everything and the psychology is outstanding. Absolutely incredible stuff all around. The reconciliation of Elizabeth and Savage is just icing on the cake. Everybody in the arena was crying and every time I watch this match, I always seem to get teary eyed too. This match represents everything I love about wrestling and it should have been the main event.***** out of 5The Undertaker and Paul Bearer measure Regis Philbin for a potential bodybag. Hilarious!Alex Trebek gets scared by Jake Roberts and Damien.Demolition Vs Tenryu & KitaoTenryu & Kitao win. Pretty boring match that the crowd was completely dead for. Even with the intermission, the crowd was exhausted from the Warrior and Savage match.*1/2 out of 5Intercontinental ChampionshipMr. Perfect (C) Vs The Big BossmanThe Big Bossman wins by DQ. Andre The Giant makes one of his last WWF appearances to help out The Big Bossman. Really fun match here between these two. Its high-energy and really underrated. Crowd was red hot for it.***1/4 out of 5Earthquake Vs Greg "The Hammer" ValentineValentine had an ill-advised face turn at this juncture. Earthquake wins. Valentine got in a surprising amount of convincing offense. A little more than a glorified squash.*1/4 out of 5The Legion of Doom say Power & Glory will be sour and gory when they are through with them.Legion of Doom Vs Power & GloryLOD wins in 2 minutes. Power & Glory's push was officially over. Nobody could take them seriously after this. DUDMillion Dollar ChampionshipVirgil Vs Ted Dibiase (C)Virgil wins by countout. Sensational Sherri joins Ted Dibiase after the match in beating down Piper until Virgil makes the save. Virgil helps Piper up. Terrible match...but the wonderful drama at the end is great stuff.* out of 5The Mountie Vs Tito SantanaThe Mountie wins with the shock stick. Pretty much a glorified squash. 1/2* out of 5WWF ChampionshipSgt. Slaughter (C) Vs Hulk HoganHogan wins the title. Shocker...hey? Pretty boring main event. Good to make the crowd go home happy...but it doesn't come close to Savage and Warrior. This really shouldn't have main-evented...but it is what it is. Technically, it was an easy choice to make the crowd happy. Hogan had way too much offense here and Slaughter barely looked like a threat.*1/4 out of 5This Wrestlemania is a tad underrated. It's certainly not perfect...but I gotta give it a thumbs up.7/10

First wrestler I saw on WM VII was Jim Duggan- that's not good beginning.1. The Rockers vs. Barbarian/Haku - Yes! Shawn defeats Haku, nice opening match (fairly quick on Meng and Barbarian) 6/10 2. Dino Bravo Vs. Texas Tornado 5/103. The Warlord Vs. The British Bulldog 6/10 4. WWF Tag Team Championship: The Nasty Boys Vs. Champs-The Hart Foundaion 5.5/10 5. Blindfold Match: Rick Martel Vs. Jake Roberts - This was so ridiculous, crowd showed Jake Roberts way to the Rick Martel. Bleh. I like Jake Roberts and even Martel, but this match strictly sucks. At least they let finally Jake win some match on PPV. 3/10.6. Superboring Jimmy Snuka Vs. The Undertaker - Taker's Career beginnings are full of atmosphere! 7/107. End Career match: Macho King Randy Savage Vs. The Ultimate Idiot - Slow punching match. And hey! Sleeper hold! OOooh clothesline - top of the match. Please guys, not so quickly on me. Warrior wins. Need I look at him dancing in pink boots again? Even it's shame that Macho lost, there was nice ending with Liz. 4.5/10 8. Tenryu/Kitao Vs. The Demolition - 5/10 9. Intercontinental Match: Champ-Mr. Perfect Vs. Big Stiff Man - Thx to booker that Mr. Perfect didn't lay for this unsympathetic slow fat O'hara 5.5/10 10. Greg Valentine Vs. Earthquake 5.5/10 11. Power & Glory Vs. Legian of Doom (formerly known as Road Warriors) - Fast and furious. 1 minute or 2? Sometimes that's better. 6/10 12. Virgil Vs. Million Dollar Man - NO, another appearance of Pajpa. :/ 4/10 13. The Mountie Vs. Tito Santana - Cheap shot 1 minute match. Clap, clap. 4/10 14. World Heavyweight Championship: Hulk Hogan Vs. Champ-Sgt. Slaughter- Did you see Invincible Hulk On turnbuckle sometimes before? :) Me not. And the match didn't worth t for. Semi-God is champ again. *Boring* 4/10Sry, but that was weak show.

This Wrestlemania was originally supposed to take place outside of Los Angeles, but Vince McMahon scrapped the idea. This was because Iraqi sympathiser Sgt Slaughter was supporting the Gulf War and he set the USA flag on fire. So while brave American soldiers were dying in the gulf, McMahon made money out of this. In this writers opinion McMahon has a habit of doing this. McMahon thought a sniper would kill Robert 'Sgt Slaughter' Remus for real.So many matches were crammed onto the card and so many matches were cut short.Results from Wrestlemania VII are as follows: The Rockers beat Haku and The Barbarian in an entertaining opening contest.Texas Tornado beat Canadian strongman Dino Bravo in a very short match.The Nasty Boys downed The Hart Foundation in a strong match. One interesting note is when Sean Mooney was interviewing The Hart Foundation before the match. Jim Heidhart said shouting "Knobs! Saggs! You say you're going to rock The Foundation, you say you are going to beat The Foundation! You say you're going to crack The Foundation! Well to crack The Foundation you have got to be right at the bottom and that's exactly where you guys are!" Read the paragraph what Anvil said, it means that they could crack the Foundation after all! The British Bulldog beat the Warlord in a short match.Jake 'the snake' Roberts beat Rick Martel in a memorable blindfold match.Virgil downed 'The Million Dollar Man' Ted DiBiase via count out.The Big Bossman defeated Intercontinental Champion Mr Perfect via DQ when Haku and Barbarian ram in.Kitao and Tenryu defeated Demolition - Crush and Smash (Barry Darsow) - The Mountie defeated Tito Santana in a very short match.The Ultimate Warrior defeated 'Macho Man' Randy Savage in a career ending match.The Undertaker downed 'Superfly' Jimmy Snuka.Earthquake defeated Greg 'The Hammer' Valentine in a short match.Legion of Doom defeated Power and Glory in a terrible short match.Hulk Hogan defeated Sgt Slaughter to win the WWF World Heavyweight Championship.Overall Grade - B- There were too many matches, but I can't help noticing that too many performers on the show are sadly no longer with us today.RIP - Lord Alfred Hayes, Gorilla Monsoon, Joey Morella (referee), Texas Tornado, Dino Bravo, Hercules, Big Bossman, Mr Perfect, Andre the Giant, British Bulldog, Hawk, Elizabeth.

The Rockers defeated the Barbarian & Haku via pinfall Texas Tornado defeated Dino Bravo via pinfall The British Bulldog defeated the Warlord via pinfall The Nasty Boys defeated The Hart Foundation for the Tag Team Championship Jake Roberts defeated The Model in a Blindfold Match Undertaker defeated Jimmy Snuka via pinfall Ultimate Warrior defeated Randy Savage in a Retirement Match Genichiro & Koji Kiao defeated Demolition via pinfall Big Boss Man beat Intercontinental Champion Mr. Perfect via DQ Earthquake defeated Greg Valentine via pinfall Legion of Doom defeated Power & Glory via pinfall Virgil defeated Ted DiBiase via countout The Mountie defeated Tito Santana via pinfall Hulk Hogan defeated Sgt. Slaughter to capture the World Wrestling ChampionshipOverall Mark: B-