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A Major Disappointment

The film may be flawed, but its message is not.

One would think that a three-star rating for Survivor Series 1994 would be considered a disappointment. However, after how inconsistent of a product WWF had become by the end of 1994, it is actually almost a bit refreshing to see an event just be "okay" and not utterly plagued by issues.The tag matches here are exactly what you'd expect from SS. If you are into tag matches you'll love it. If not, the FF button will be utilized frequently.The two featured matches of the event are: -Bob Backlund vs. Bret Hart: I should hate this dumb angle, but for some reason it works for me. I wish Vince McMahon would have concocted the angle a bit less over-the-top and instead played it more straight, but Backlund is still just odd enough to create some intrigue. -Casket Match: Yokozuna vs. The Undertaker. Yokozuna was pretty much played out by this point (those big boys not named Andre have such limited shelf lives), but Taker gives a great performance as per the usual.Overall, the '94 Survivor Series was an okay event. Not among the greats, but enough entertainment to keep you from being bored. At this point in WWF history, that is progress.

1st Match: The Bad Guys vs The Teamsters, 5-on-5 Elimination match. Some pretty big star power in this, especially Michaels being the hometown boy. Nash destroys everyone on Razor's team, and the crowd's sure into it, but an entire team losing via countout is really lame. At least the match is entertaining up to that point. Rating: 3/5 2nd Match: The Royal Family vs Clowns R' Us, 4-on-4 Elimination match. This in not a match, this is torture. Terrible comedy matches like this drag on for what feels like hours, and I would rather die than see this again. It's not funny, it's cancerous. If this doesn't make the top of my "Worst Match of 1994" list, I shudder to think what'll beat it. A new word needs to be invented for how terrible this is. I'm not exaggerating when I say this is one of the worst things I've ever seen. Rating: 0/5 3rd Match: Bob Backlund vs Bret Hart, Submission match for the WWF Championship. You know what I've had enough of? This Bret/Owen feud. At this point, they've been milking this rivalry for 10 months, and it got stale 7 months in. OK Owen, I get it, you're a crybaby loser. I now hate you even being on my TV screen, that's not good, it means I don't even want to boo you, let alone see you at all. I guess I should get to the match itself. Nothing happens, there's no tension or anything and the last 10 minutes are slower than continental drift. If this match was done nowadays, it would get booed off of the planet. Rating: 0/5 4th Match: The Million Dollar Team vs Guts & Glory. Finally, a stand out match! The 2 matches before this were equivalent to sensory deprivation, and this finally has substance. It's not a perfect match by any means, but it's The Holy Grail compared to what came before it. Rating: 3.5/5 5th Match: Yokozuna vs Undertaker, Casket match (Special Guest Enforcer: Chuck Norris). Oh hey, it's Chuck Norris. You know, that guy that got completely killed by the internet. Also fun fact, Paul Bearer went to the same community college I did. Again, the match isn't perfect, but Undertaker winning was a good match to end on, even though an act of God couldn't save this show. Rating: 3/5 Final Rating: 2 out of 10. This is the worst PPV I've ever seen, and it'll take a serious effort for any other show to beat it. Lawler/Doink is cancer, and Backlund/Hart is the worst title match I've ever seen. Even the 3 matches I rated at least OK, is just because compared to the other 2 matches they're a lot better. Who thought ending 1994 with an abomination of a show like this was a good idea? WWF were treading some serious water in '94, Hopefully they can bounce in '95.

1-2-3 Kid, Fatu, Sionne, British Bulldog and Razor Ramon vs. Jeff Jarrett, Diesel, Jim "the Anvil" Neidhart, Owen Hart and Shawn Michaels Survivor: Razor RamonJerry "the King" Lawler, Sleazy, Queasy and Cheesy vs. Doink, Dink, Pink and Wink Survivors: Jerry Lawler, Sleazy, Queasy and CheesyBob Backlund defeated Bret "Hitman" Hart in a Submission Match to become World Wrestling WWE ChampionKing Kong Bundy, Tatanka, Heavenly Bodies and Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Mabel, Adam Bomb, Smoking Gunns and Lex Luger Survivors: King Kong Bundy and Bam Bam BigelowThe Undertaker defeated Yokozuna in a Casket MatchOverall Mark: B+

This Survivor Series event was very good after the mediocre events from 1992/93.For the first time since the 1988 event there were some matches pitting teams of 5 against each other. The Bad Guys captained by the ultra cool Razor Ramon battled The Teamsters captained by Jeff Jarrett. This was a superb match spoiled only by it's ending.Major enemies Lex Luger and Tatanka captained opposing teams in another entertaining brawl.Doink led 3 midget clowns against Jerry Lawler and 3 midget kings. This was a comedic match which I enjoyed very much and was probably enjoyed by anyone who was under 5 at the time.Bret Hart faced Bob Backlund in a match that lasted over 30 minutes. It was a technical match and very intense at times.In the main event The Undertaker fought Yokosuna in a Casket Match which was refereed by Chuck Norris. This was a reasonable match which brought an entertaining card to an end.