Simply A Masterpiece

Absolutely the worst movie.

It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

A terrific literary drama and character piece that shows how the process of creating art can be seen differently by those doing it and those looking at it from the outside.

In 1972, Wolfhound might have made a decent "bad" drive-in movie for teenage boys. They could ogle the hot naked chicks when they were on screen, then hoot and holler at how awful everything else was. In 2002, there were too few drive-in movies and too much readily available porn for Wolfhound to serve any purpose whatsoever. It has a plot that would bore the pants off an 8 year old. You've heard of dialog that sounds better on the page? This dialog would sound better as sign language. The acting here more closely resembles the amateur ventriloquism of a sociopath.Colum Kennedy (Allen Scotti and yes, the character's name is Colum, not Colin) is an American writer who returns to his boyhood home in Ireland to write a book about his family history. He's dragged his much less attractive wife Stella (Jennifer Courtney) and his two kids along with him. It's a little hard to describe the rest of the story because quite a lot of the story is only alluded to and never definitively told. Characters are frequently making references to things that never happen in the film nor are even explained. Basically, it's a journey of self-discovery where Colum has sex with a Irish Wolfhound that morphs into a hot naked chick (Julie Cialini) in order to discover the Irish Wolfhound in himself. That sounds like the greatest Guinness commercial ever but trust me, it makes for an awful motion picture.Julie Cialini is very pretty and has a great head of hair. She can't act, not even enough to fake a terrible Irish accent, but she looks great with no clothes on. It's difficult to evaluate the rest of the cast because they give such emotionally discordant performances. The feelings they project don't match up with the words they say or the situations they're in.The most notably ridiculous thing about this movie is the lengths gone to in order to make the Irish Wolfhound look like a menacing animal. I'm not sure if it's the nature of the breed or the dogs in this film were all drugged, but these are the least threatening animals you've ever seen. The meerkats from Meerkat Manor on Animal Plant have a more vicious appearance. A few times when they try to show a dog baring his teeth, it sure seems like they just shoot a close-up of the end of his snout while someone's hands off screen pull on the dog's upper lip to make it look like he's snarling.Wolfhound is badly written, badly directed and apparently badly acted. There are plenty of moments with Cialini in her birthday suit, including one where she's joined by an even more attractive and bustier woman. Every known copy of this movie should be transferred onto film and shipped through the Time Tunnel back to 1972 where it could do some good for packs of dateless teenage smartasses on Saturday nights. There's no need for it to exist in our time.

A successful author, Colum(Allen Scotti) returns to his ancestral home in an Irish village with wife, son and daughter in tow hoping to rekindle possible memories of slain parents he never knew. What he does discover is that inside him lying dormant is an animal desiring to get out. Threatening his well being is an imposing, gruff villager, Macroth(Brian Monahan)who may very well have been behind the death of his parents. Colum's wife, Stella(Jennifer Courtney), wishes to go home, quite a city gal longing for her hot coffee from Starbucks, having a great deal of trouble adjusting to her new environs. What's worse is that she feels a rift coming between her and Colum whose behavior is questionable. Colum realizes that an Irish wolfhound scouring about his cottage's grounds is in fact the animal form of a beautiful, voluptuous woman, Siobahn(Julie Cialini)who wishes to make passionate sexual contact with him. After succumbing to Siobahn's seductive allure, Colum finds the beast within starting to emerge, while Stella yearns to leave without him if necessary. Meanwhile Macroth eyes Stella causing quite a bit of friction between all involved. What Colum and Stella soon find is that the village folk are not all they appear to be.Ambitious but lackluster fantasy regarding a village of people who can actually transform into animals. Like Macroth who changes into a wolfhound like Siobahn. Another changes into a crow. The plot resembles the story of Cat People ever so slightly, but I had a problem with how the fantasy element of transformation is handled..it deserves more exposition as does how Colum's parents died. I think a great deal of the film is little more than getting Julie Cialini as naked as possible. Certainly her delicious naked flesh doesn't hurt, as long as she kept her mouth shut, but I didn't think she had that many sparks with Allen Scotti, for whom is her sexual partner during a few scenes. I never thought their love-making provided the right amount of erotic heat which is surprising since chains get thrown into the mix and blue light(..often quite an effective tool for erotica)within night scenes never quite elicits fireworks. The fight scenes between Macroth and Colum never catch fire either and have clumsily inserted dogs growling in the attempts to sell the beasts themselves attacking. The morphing sequences from human to beast leave much to be desired. Special effects in this film just are too cheap to effectively convey what the director so desires and he often has to resort to the use of objects to cloud humans before and during their transformation to, I guess, save on what little budget he obviously had. There's an unnecessary sex scene between Colum and two lesbian women(..Julie K & Regina Russell)that should also be erotic but comes off surprisingly empty because the director fails to establish whether or not they're actually even on top of him! I'd suggest seeing this merely to see Cialini naked, slapping Colum as he's chained to the bed while on top of him having the ride of her life. She also has a rather effective strip scene, removing her gown inviting pleasure. Maybe the problem is the lead actor, Scotti, who fails to generate fire with his new lover or a sense of love with his wife. The character of Stella spends most of the screen time upset with her husband's decision to leave home, feeling distant from Colum, or warding off Macroth's advances.

Wolfhound is a supernatural thriller type film. There's plenty of nudity, although the violence was a little lacking. It also seems that the film makers didn't follow through with all of their plot ends or ran short on funds or some other such nonsense (I will elaborate below).Colum is a young writer with a family. He moves his wife and kids back to his home town in rural Ireland so that he can concentrate on writing a book. As the film drags on (I stress that it drags), Colum's wife begins to realize that her husband has been keeping a secret from her all these years. While staying in Ireland, Colum begins hooking up with an Irish Wolfhound that can transform itself into a beautiful woman (you'll just have to take my word on this one). The woman is trying to help him remember that he is also a wolfhound and that his human form is only one side of him. As a matter of fact, the entire populace of the village are actually animals that take human form. Colum has to realize his animal powers in time to save his wife from the local bully.The real problem that I've got with this thing is that they didn't really explain some things that they should have. I can forgive not knowing what happens to the hero at the end of the movie and the minutia that is only kind of a cute sub plot. However, in this thing they frequently mention that Colum's parents died in their late twenties and they don't say how or why he moved out of the village. We can assume that his parents met an untimely end. However, they stress the death of his parents being such a turning point and it is never really adequately explained. They also never fully explain the gorgeous woman wolfhound's relationship with him. She mentions that she's been waiting for him to return, but why? We don't know why or when he left, so there's nothing really to gauge his past on. I don't mind ambiguity in films, but still. It looks like they tried to make a modern day Hitchcockian film, but royally screwed up.

I have never seen a more annoying bunch of actors in one movie. Lucky guy, talk about license to cheat with hot chick. "just trying to save your life oh wife of mine". Acting was bad and they wasted what could have been a good plot. What was with Miss Julie's accent? Too valley girl American which was a shame because everyone had an authentic accent. The wife was annoying too with her constant chattering and over-acting. The man was trying too hard to be intense he just appeared to be a morose loser.No eerie effects or mystery just all out soft porn. Sadly, this wasn't even titillating. Got the VCD as a freebie buy 3 get 1 free. Still felt like money burned though! They should have paid me to get this off their hands.