Fun premise, good actors, bad writing. This film seemed to have potential at the beginning but it quickly devolves into a trite action film. Ultimately it's very boring.

Yes, absolutely, there is fun to be had, as well as many, many things to go boom, all amid an atmospheric urban jungle.

This movie tries so hard to be funny, yet it falls flat every time. Just another example of recycled ideas repackaged with women in an attempt to appeal to a certain audience.

An old-fashioned movie made with new-fashioned finesse.

1st Match: Eddie Guerrero vs Konnan, WCW US Heavyweight Championship. The only title match of the show, so no other match will have any suspense to it, neither does this match though, so at least your expectations are low from the start. This match has a few high spots, but it's mostly stalling and slow rest holds. Eddie's great against a lot of opponents, but Konnan is just too slow here, and the ending is terrible. The ref stops mid three-count, and then an accidental low blow has Konnan get the win. This is a slow opener that's almost 20 minutes, about a fifth of it is interesting. Rating: 1.5/52nd Match: Finlay vs Lord Steven Regal. This match is stiff, neither guy holds back, I'll give it that. It has a lot of potential to be a great slugfest, but then the match ends in a DQ after almost 20 minutes. Another lazy finish that kills the overall match. At least the match was entertaining up to that point, the bad news, this is the best match of the night. Rating: 3/53rd Match: Madusa vs Col. Robert Parker. Madusa is Alundra Blayze, who threw the WWF Women's title in the trash on Nitro, just FYI. This match is nothing, just 3 minutes of waste. Rating: None4th Match: DDP vs Brutus Beefcake, If DDP loses he quits wrestling. Oh god this match is terrible, actually I think terrible is too nice of a word. It's almost 20 minutes of stalling, bail outs, more stalling, and rest holds. DDP can be a good worker, given the right circumstances, but not here. No suspense, no high spots, it exists solely to fill time, and it's terrible. Avoid at all costs. Rating: 0/55th Match: Big Show vs Loch Ness. Another nothing match that's less than 4 minutes long. At this point I was hoping my internet would go out so I could stop watching this, but what good would my opinion be then? Rating: None6th Match: The Road Warriors vs Sting and Booker T, Chicago Street Fight. Well folks, WCW somehow managed to screw up a Street Fight. This match is 30 minutes, 30 minutes of next to nothing. Instead of going all out and using tables and trash cans and all that good stuff, all that's used is a chair and a lot of low blows. It's a Street Fight, but barely. "Oh we used a chair and went into the crowd a little bit. That counts as a Street Fight right?". No. It's just a gigantic waste of time. At least it showed off a little of Booker's solo run, but that's literally the only good thing about it. Rating: 0.5/57th Match: The Mega Powers vs The Alliance to End Hulkamania, Doomsday Cage match. Please end my suffering now! I hesitate to even call this a freakin' match, it's that much of a mess. It's one of the most convoluted things I've ever seen. It's a "match" inside a 40 foot tall stacked cage, kind of like Hell in a Cell, but designed by someone who didn't know what they were doing. Hogan and Savage of course dominate, but it's damn near impossible to keep up with thanks to the constant split-screen. Towards the end, Bane from "Batman and Robin" and "Black Prisoner with Lazy Eye" from "The Dark Knight" show up to try and beat Hogan. Thank you WCW, I should be watching those 2 movies instead of this. Then Luger, accidentally hits Flair with a loaded glove that's equivalent to a shotgun blast, allowing Savage to pick up the win. The problem with that is that Luger's timing is off and it looks like he hits Flair on purpose. I think this might be the worst match I've ever seen. Before this, Goldberg/Lesnar from Wrestlemania XX was the worst, but I think this beats it, kills it, and then lights it's corpse on fire. It is an absolute atrocity of confusion, and ego, and suffering that I would never wish on my worst enemy. I mean no exaggeration when I give this the rating that I do, it is THAT bad! Rating: -5/5Final Rating: 1 out of 10. WCW hit a new low with this show here. The fact that they charged people money to see it is insulting. I never thought I would give a negative number rating to a match, let alone a 1 out of 10 rating for an entire show. The only thing keeping me interested in WCW at this point is knowing that Hogan'll be turning heel soon. That gives me hope, but if that fails too, then I'm just not gonna watch anymore of WCW's shows. At least Wrestlemania XII is next on my PPV catalog, I remember liking that show.R.I.P. Eddie Guerrero

(03.24.96)Live from Tupelo, MississippiAttendance: 9,000Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Dusty Rhodes & Bobby HeenanUnited States ChampionshipKonnan (C) Vs Eddie GuerreroKonnan retains with an "accidental" low blow. This was an above average opener to start the show, but it had the potential to be much more. They had moments of brilliance mixed with moments of boredom in between. It was definitely a fairly good match, but they seemed unsure at times. There isn't as many high-flying moments as you may think.**3/4The Belfast Bruiser Vs Lord Steven RegalThis is essentially Fit Finlay Vs William Regal! A match that is very intriguing and hopefully hard-hitting. The Bruiser wins by DQ after interference from other Blue Blood members. This was a vicious, bloody fight that should have been more exciting. There were too many times where a boring rest hold was applied. Yes, it was brutal but not necessarily exciting. *3/4Man Vs WomanCol. Robert Parker Vs MadusaI can't believe they're actually going through with this nonsense. Parker wins with "Dirty" Dick Slater trips up Madusa from the outside. Maybe it's because I'm in a good mood, but I strangely enjoyed this for what it was. I got a kick out of seeing Madusa bodyslam and German suplex Parker. It's still stupid and pointless in the whole scheme of things, though.Not RatedI Quit Wrestling MatchDiamond Dallas Paige Vs The Booty ManThe Booty Man wins with a running high knee. As a result, DDP is forced to leave WCW. This was a really boring match that had the wrong winner. The Booty Man would be one of several unsuccessful WCW gimmicks of Brutus Beefcake. On the other hand, DDP would enjoy a career resurgence when he came back.*1/4Giant vs GiantLochness Vs The Giant (W/Jimmy Hart)The winner gets to face Ric Flair for the WCW Heavyweight title the next night on Nitro. The Giant wins with a legdrop. Lochness was almost 700 pounds and could barely move. That's a good thing for most wrestling fans because it means the match was short. It was still pure, unmitigated crap, though.DUDChicago Street FightThe Road Warriors Vs Booker T & StingSting and Booker T win due to outside interference from Stevie Ray. I'm not sure how to fully rate this one. On one hand, they worked really hard and the effort was there. On the other hand, it was very tame and lacking the action a street fight should. The only thing resembling extreme in this match were chairs and brooms. It also went on WAY too long.**1/2Doomsday Cage MatchHulk Hogan & Randy Savage Vs Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Kevin Sullivan, Lex Luger, Meng, The Barbarian, The Ultimate Solution & Ze GangstaA Doomsday Cage match is three cages stacked on top of each other. In order to win, Hogan and Savage must fight their way through each cage until they get to the bottom. Hogan and Savage win, of course. This is one of the worst main events you'll ever see. The concept sounded really cool, but the execution sure isn't. The cages look really cool stacked on top of each other, but that's about it. Nothing really dangerous happens except for Kevin Sullivan teetering on the edge of the scaffold. My major complaint is Hogan taking his superman act to new levels. 3/4*Overall, this definitely ranks as one of the worst PPV's I've seen. I don't mean to constantly bash WCW, but a lot of the stuff they did was downright stupid. They hyped this as unsanctioned and uncensored, but everything was very tame. The Doomsday Cage match looks cool but that's really about it. When you have to resort to bringing back a guy from one of Hogan's worst feuds (Zeus) just so Hogan can beat the odds, it's pretty bad. I'll be generous and give this a 3/10

1. WCW U.S. Heavyweight Championship: Eddie Guerrero Vs. Champ-Konnan - Solid match, Konnan overcame himself, but match was ended badly (low blow) 7.5/10 2. Belfast Bruiser Vs. Lord Steven Regal - Largely technical match. DQ ending. 6.5/10 3. Madusa Vs. Col Parker - I don't like these "funny" type of matches. Completely worthless. Parker won uncleanly. 5/10 4. I quit match: Diamond Dallas Page Vs. The biggest idiot in pro-wrestling ever Beefcake aka Zodiac aka man without name aka Disciple aka I have 1000 gimmicks and all were terrible - Booty man - Match was however awful, boring, no watchable moves, too much holding. And the result? Victory of a guy who didn't show nothing in the match but High knee like Finisher move. What a bad joke. They should get that idiot quickly from the screen. Terrible thing. Even worse than feud with Johnny B.Badd, who won all matches against Page. 2/10 5. Giant Vs. Loch Ness - 2 minute match - 10 kicks, 15 punches or chops and 1 missing elbow. Completely waste of time 1/10 6. Chicago Street fight: Road Warriors Vs. Sting/Booker T. Quite boring and long. 5.5/10 7. Doomsday cage match: Hogan/Savage Vs. Ric Flair/Arn Anderson/The Taskmaster/Lex Luger/Meng/Barbarian/Z-Gangster/The Ultimate Solution - No entertainment, no wrestling, no moves. Basic brawling and boredom. Hulk didn't lose either. Everything was wrong. 3/10

Ratings out of 10.* Konnan vs Eddie Guerrero (7) Good match carried by Eddie's greatness. Konnan could actually wrestle before he became a "gangsta". Quality stuff despite stupid finish.* Belfast Bruiser vs Steven Regal (6) Brutal match and I mean that in a good way. These guys beat the crap out of each other for 15 minutes. Good match with another bad finish.* Rob Parker vs Madusa (1) Man against woman match. Watchable but totally out of place on PPV.* Booty Man vs DDP (0) Booty Man is Ed Leslie (aka Brutus Beefcake). Nuff said. Poor DDP for getting stuck in this crap match.* The Giant vs Loch Ness (0) Note to Loch Ness: When you make The Giant look agile it's time to find another line of work.* Road Warriors vs Sting & Booker T in a Chicago Street Fight (4) 30 minutes of clotheslines and weak chair shots. You could tell Sting was ready for a vacation. Overlong and pointless.* Doomsday Cage Match Hogan & Savage vs Flair, Arn, Luger, Taskmaster, Meng, Barbarian, Zeus & some fat white guy (0) Probably the worst PPV main event of all time. 25 minutes of pure, unwatchable crap. Hogan had to turn heel after this just to save his career.