SERIOUSLY. This is what the crap Hollywood still puts out?

Instead, you get a movie that's enjoyable enough, but leaves you feeling like it could have been much, much more.

A great movie, one of the best of this year. There was a bit of confusion at one point in the plot, but nothing serious.

Actress is magnificent and exudes a hypnotic screen presence in this affecting drama.

Changed from 'Barbies' to 'Barbys' to avoid confusion with a certain well known blond toy, this Jess Franco film is typically as crass and weird as you may expect. By this time in his career, Franco was about to start working with One Shot Productions, a strictly no-budget company sympathetic to his style, as he was of theirs. So it's interesting to see that 'Killer Barbys' is a comparatively slick affair. For a start, it isn't shot on video. Secondly, it boasts some fairly impressive production values and set-pieces.The Barbys are a suggestive punk rock outfit touring in a Scooby-Doo-type van that breaks down, leaving them at the mercy of the sinister Arkan (Aldo Sambrell) and the huge and Gothic castle he frequents. There are two distinct styles here, and Franco makes little attempt to marry them together – incessant punky-music-scored wise-cracking and softcore scenes featuring the band, and some nicely lit sinister scenes involving Arkan and the castle's Countess, punctuated with the antics of skivvy Baltasar (Santiago Segura) and his two dwarf 'children.' Interestingly perhaps, band-member Rafa is played by Carlos Subterfuge, who would go on to play a dreadlocked Frankenstein's Ghost in Franco's 1998's 'Lust for Frankenstein'.I don't know what on Earth to make of this, but that is hardly surprising. Clearly a vehicle for The Killer Barbys, much as 'Spice World', for example, was a vehicle for The Spice Girls, this venture is a much more lurid and less comprehensible affair. But in Franco's hands, would you expect anything else? Also, it is enjoyable in its way. There are eerie sex scenes, full nakedness and an expectedly thin storyline. There are also a number of nice gore scenes, perhaps befitting a band with such a 'raunchy' image. Main singer Sylvia Superstar as Flavia gets the most to do here, which isn't a huge amount.The dubbing in this is some of the worst I have seen, with little or no attempt to marry the lines with the actors. The dialogue is pretty ropey too ("You are the most beautiful bitch I have ever seen in my life," Rafa informs the Countess by way of a compliment).

While driving on tour late night through a lonely road in the countryside of Spain, the van of the punk band "Killer Barbys" has an accident and breaks down. A creepy old man invites the group to spend the night in the castle of Countess Von Fledermaus (Mariangela Giordano) and presents himself as her secretary Arkan (Aldo Sambrell). Arkan explains that the mechanic is located 62 km far from the location and he tells that the Countess loves youths. Flavia (Silvia Superstar), Rafa (Carlos Subterfuge) and Mario (Charlie S. Chaplin) accept the invitation but Billy (Billy King) and Sharon (Angie Barea) stay shagging in the van. When the musicians meet the Countess, they find that she is the ancient artist Olga Luchan and they question how she could keep so young. But sooner they discover that the Countess needs blood of young people to keep her beauty. "Killer Barbys" is a typical Jess Franco's film with exploitation, low- budget, clichés, bad acting, naked women and lots of gore. I am not familiar with the Spanish punk band Killer Barbies but I laughed in some artless scenes and I liked the soundtrack. My vote is five.Title (Brazil): "O Massacre das Barbys" ("The Barbys Massacre")

People who say this is the worst Jess franco movie obviously haven't seen too many Jess Franco movies. This has the same liabilities of many Franco flicks--the story is formulaic, the budget is non-existent, the film-making is borderline incompetent, the acting is terrible and the English dubbing is even worse. This movie is basically an extended promo for "the Killer Barbies", a less-talented, Spanish version of The Cramps with a sexy female lead singer, "Sylvia Superstar", who makes Britney Spears appear conservatively dressed by comparison. Fortunately, their music is a lot better than Britney Spears'. Unfortunately, it seems to consist of only two songs that they play over and over again, first in a live concert, then on the tape deck of their Scooby Doo-style tour van, and then non-diegetically on the soundtrack.After their van breaks down in the remote countryside, the band members take refuge in a creepy old castle (except for one couple who remain in the van to have sex for a ridiculously long time, before getting chased naked through the woods and summarily slaughtered). The surviving Barbies prove pretty tepid heroes actually, but the villains are pretty good--they include long-time character actor Aldo Sambrell, actor/producer Santiago Segura (unknown in America, but a cult figure today in Spain) and two creepy-ass midgets. Most impressive though is the infamous Mariangela Giordano as a Countess Bathory type who needs the blood of. . . well, obviously not virgins, but young people, in order to restore her own youth. Giordano has a very long, blood-soaked, butt-naked nude scene, which is pretty damn impressive considering she was almost 60 at the time! Of course, if you're watching this to "flip one off the wrist" as it were, you might not want to witness an actress a few years shy of collecting a pension in the altogether (no matter how good she still looks), but this kind of polymorphous perversity is what I find most interesting about Franco. Maybe it isn't very sexy, but it's a lot more interesting than watching your usual silicone-enhanced bimbos going through the motions of tediously choreographed softcore sex scenes. Call me crazy."Sylvia Superstar" also has brief nude scenes (which is more than you'll get from a Britney Spear's movie and you'll suffer a lot less for the privilege). Ditto with the ridiculously horny female back-up singer (at least before she is regrettably "decapitated" and replaced with what is obviously a headless department store mannequin). The special effects are laughable as usual. This is hardly "the most violent Jess Franco movie" as is claimed in the intro, but it's far from the worst one either

Perhaps the worst dubbing in history, this movie features many scenes with characters' lips still moving long after the dubbed track had already spoken. It was very frustrating. On top of that, the entire movie made little sense. It was completely disjointed. The filmmakers tried to weird it up by having a couple of psychotic midgets thrown into the mix, but the result was just pathetic. There are countless scenes where bandmembers (Killer Barbys are a real band) are having sex in a van, and the baddies are hovering around, opening doors, stealing things, placing objects, yet are never even so much as noticed by the lovemakers. There are equally moronic scenes of the baddies chasing after a naked woman in the woods. She looks like she is running in slowmotion and has to keep waiting for her pursuers to catch up. Then there is some subplot involving some ancient vampiress who must drink young blood to regain her youth, yet when she does, she becomes some 65-year old had been! She is supposed to be this beauty who seduces the lead singer, yet she is easily old enough to be his grandmother!They tried to throw in a few corpses to add to the horror, yet they were so obviously rubber it was ridiculous. One of the henchmen carries one through the castle, and you can repeatedly see him bang it against walls only to have it snap back into shape.There are A-movie, B-movies, and then there are Killer Barby movies. This one is so bad, it doesn't even deserve a letter from the alphabet. Call it a double-Z.