Save your money for something good and enjoyable

A Masterpiece!

The film makes a home in your brain and the only cure is to see it again.

There's no way I can possibly love it entirely but I just think its ridiculously bad, but enjoyable at the same time.

Valley of Ditches is an interesting film, it's premise is good, it looks solid for it's small budget and it immediatly got my attention.It tells the story of a young couple who are kidnapped by a religious nutcase who proceeds to kill the boyfriend and handcuff his girlfriend to his corpse. Being left for dead in a ditch can she find a way to escape and find her way through the desert to safety?After the credits rolled the first thing I thought is how strange the film was structured. It has the opening and then before you know it we're presented with the finale but there is little inbetween. The film has no substance, it's merely has a concept.For an obscure little thriller it's a passable attempt but its poor pacing damages it, it almost feels like it doesn't have a "Point". Though the films ending is deeply satisfying it doesn't make up for the lack of content, did it need an additional 30 minutes? Maybe, or alternatively just better writers.The Good:Great finaleInteresting conceptThe Bad:Some of the cutaway scenes are pointlessDreadfully structuredThings I Learnt From This Movie:The fact that so many religious antagonists exist in movies shows Hollywood is aware of the problemOf all the escape methods I'd thought of, that wasn't one of them

Emilia (Amanda Todisco) and her boyfriend (Jeremy Sless) are somehow taken captive by Sean (Russell Bradley Fenton) in the dry arid desert between Montana and California. We don't know anything about anyone at this moment other than a meaningless conversation about the afterlife in the beginning. What do you think after happens we die? I don't know what do you think happens after we die? etc. We discover right off boyfriend Michael is dead, killed by a guy who enjoys killing, believing it is a sign from God, so he metes out penance in the form of death and buries people in the desert. We find out Emilia had an abusive, overly protective father (Andrew Novell) during the flashback sequence which never develops Sean. The plot has incredible gaps. I am not sure if Christopher James Lang even knows what defines a story as he was so eager to get to the "rage gift" thinking himself clever, he forgot to develop a coherent tale.Disclaimer: I am not connected to this film.Guide: F-word. Near Sex. No nudity. Some blood.

So, this attempt starts off with the protagonist and her Boyfriend in a car, discussing the 'deeper' points of life and death, and then.... Well, then we see her tied up in a car, he Boyfriend being slowly killed and the Religious Nutter digging the grave intended for both her and her now dead Boyfriend.Long story short, the Religious nutter cuffs her and her Boyfriend at the ankle and proceeds to toss them into the open grave before sauntering off to sing and preach of the goodness of God.She's left there wondering how to get out of this predicament. Sadly, she never noticed what i noticed....Her Boyfriends belt. He now has no need for it, so take his belt off and use the buckle to pick the lock on the cuffs...Et Voila!!. For so much of this film i found myself internally yelling at this woman, to take the belt, pick the lock and get the hell out the ditch. She however does almost everything but take his belt.Stupid film, poorly made. Just a film that stupid people would enjoy. Personally i got too wound up watching it. I didn't care if she got out or where she went. Avoid this awful attempt at all cost.

I don't know what the filmmakers were thinking with this convoluted mess. Emilia(Amanda Todisco) is sitting in a van with her boyfriend at the start of the film, asking him what does he think happens to us when we die. Such a deep thinker, Emilia. Oh well, the young lady winds up duct taped, sitting in a car and chewing on the tape in an attempt to escape a bad man. The ditch in the title, is indeed, in a valley. Emilia lands up in a ditch with her boyfriend and what follows, with many flashbacks to a mean daddy and an unexplained fantasy sequence with the victim tied at the wrists and feet and blood dripping from her mouth. Mercifully, this tedious work of amateurs is only eighty minutes. I would suggest that viewers dig up an old DVD of the "Twilight Zone" or "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" to see how to handle suspense properly.